Stui

Hi belladona, cheating is not an option. We would have to agree on an open marriage. But that wouldn't work for very long I'm afraid. Sex without an emotional attatchment or tenderness are for me a no goer.

Hi Belladonna, thank you for your time. I mainly 'mothered' the child, changed nappies, cleaned the his nose. The only thing I didn't do was breast feed (what a surprise eh!) No she wasn't disgusted, but preferred me to do the dirty work. I dont think abuse was an issue in past. It certainly isn't one now. Perhaps her mother was very strict? She wont go to a therapist.

Hi Ilse, Thank you so much for taking time for me. She doesn't really surprise me with small things. In fact I'm the one who takes the effort in this area. I make a big effort to get the right birthday present always give her complements. To be honest, I think I've been too tolerant and she has gotten used to it and now takes it for granted. And no, I don’t take her potential asexuality personally, no way. But I can't accept or live with it any more. Btw, I'm slim, fit and have a nice personality and humour and have had many offers for affairs (which I've turned down!) in the last few years. So I don’t feel unattractive.

thx for your reply. Hypertension and stomach problems are mainly stress and anxiety related. Just for your info, I’m very fit, no way over weight 1.70cm, 70kg. I do lots of sport in an attempt to compensate my emotional ups and downs. I think sexual frustration can clearly be defined as stress? You said the words yourself…’It must be hell…’ She won’t go to a councillor. Stui

thx Ilse for your kind words. I think that I've proven that I understand the love is not just about sex. However, I have to squeeze a cuddle out of her, and she has never actually said 'I love you'. And like your ex, she does not like kissing at all. In fact anything to do with body fluids repulses her?! I'm a very passionate and I believe loving and tender person. And I show it all the time to her. I'm the one who always initiates the embrace, but I never get her arms around me, it's always me who spills out the affection. Stui

We've now passed the 20 years marriage milestone. We have a beautiful son who is 10, but our sex life has been a disaster from the beginning! The first five years why wife didn't want any sexual contact. After I started developing hypertension and stomach problems, ahe reluctantly decided to 'ease' my sexual tension and allow for some fun. Five years later our son was born. The sex up to then was lousy, 5 times a month in one week, and my hypertension did not go away. Yes, I loved my wife very much and thought that she would mature and start loving me back. For the last five years I have had to put up with solo sex, but have now decided that unless things change I will stray and even go for a separation. My hypertension has returned and so have my stomach problems. I'm completely frustrated and I don't see why I should suffer and have health problems. She knows that, but seems to have little interest or concern for this. I'm sure she wouldn't have been this tolerant if it had been me with no sex drive? I've bought her all the gear to stimulate her; she even suggested light bondage and kink. The interest very quickly disappeared. I've even suggested she try's having an affair (with either sex) to see if somebody else has more success. I would accept that, but she had no interest. I can't honestly say that I still love her anymore. Could it be she is simply asexual? I'm sure many of you will laugh and say, what a fool, why did you marry her?