holyohio

Actually, from what I understand she has not really been in a lot of healthy relationships. I knew her for a long time through a friend and she always seemed to be a self-proclaimed "comittmentphobe" (her words). She hated being termed boyfriend/girlfriend, didn't like the idea of exclusivity, flaunted the fact that she "dated" lots of guys to me, etc... so I assumed (incorrectly perhaps) that she wasn't really the clingly sort. Before exclusively dating me, I don't think she just came out of any really serious relationships and had been semi-single for about a year and a half (from all I know, she really doesnt go into detail about her ex-boyfriends, just refers to them as "exes" when she talks about them...probably for the best!). After we had been dating for about 1.5 months, she confesses that she loves me, she's never liked a boy before, and "If I ever get too annoying, just kick me out, but dont break up with me". All these insecurity problems just out of the blue !! Bingo. Hit the nail on the head. That's how I took it too. Right. And it kind of makes conversation a little awkward and boring when we DO get to hang out with each other since we talk every day for 300 hours about every little thing that has happened recently. I just fear that we'll eventually get bored of each other. Part of the excitement in the honeymoon phase is to learn and come to like certain aspects of the other person !! She keeps probing and probing (like all girls do) about every little detail of my life, she wants to know silly stories of my childhood or my experiences (and I'm, by nature, a pretty private person) and I feel that if she knows everything about me, its gonna get real boring !

Been dating this girl for about 3 months. She's wonderful. Im a conservative, she's a liberal I am content with spending the day doing nothing, she constantly has to be entertained. Im a science major, she's into liberal arts Im a man and...well...she's a feminist! It's a great relationship and I truly value the time we spend together, even given that we are so different from one another (we never argue !) She seems to be getting a little "clingy" the past few weeks. We went from speaking every night on the phone for about an hour (she lives couple hours away until we go back to school in a couple weeks) to her calling me at 8am in the morning (from work), twice at lunch, one time between lunch and 5am, after work, and then 2 hours at night. She has told me she has fears of being too dependent on someone to be happy (she has had quite a bad run of luck in the past with guys) in which case I tried to encourage her to be the strong independent woman that she so often aspires to be. She was also (delightfully...i think) surprised when I insisted that she go out with her friends (sans myself, because I was tired from moving apartments) even though "other guys were going to be there" (i sensed she was a little disappointed when I said I didn't want to go, almost as if I was inferring she couldn't go because I wasnt). I try to encourage her to do fun activities outside just me and her all the time, but she seems to be using "seeing me" as an excuse to blow everyone else off (as if she doesn't see me enough . I know the quick answer is stop answering phone calls ALL of the time, maybe just limit it to 2-3 a day MAX. Already tried. If I do this my phone constantly rings off of the hook, and I end up either having to turn it on silent, vibrate, or off completely (and my job requires that I be reachable on the phone) Any solutions to try and remedy the situation? I love spending time with this girl and really do care about her a great deal, but I feel that the more we hang out and the longer the duration, the higher the probabiltiy that we will end up fighting or get bored with each other. I don't think it's healthy to spend ALL of your time with your S/O. Thoughts? Thanks y'all!

funny, cause me and my SO were talking about this just the other day ! I try to put myself in that situation, a thought experiment if you will and... No. I just don't see a female as being a major threat to myself, my masculinity, and my ego as much as if it was with another guy. She claimed I said so because I could never really see her doing it...but honestly, I don't think it would bother me. Could it be considered cheating? Yes. Could it be construed as a betrayal of trust and violate the exclusivity of our relationship? Probably. But if she told me or I found out about it, I might be willing to overlook it giving the circumstances and her experience. Whereas, I've already told her, if I found out she was cheating on me with another guy, I'd tell her she'd better come get the box full of her stuff in front of my apartment before it rains. She wouldn't even get a chance to explain. Now if she did it once, and continued to sleep with the girl on the side, it might be a different story because I'd feel that she is not being fair (and I was not satisfying her). The serious mutual exclusivity we have for each other cannot be circumvented just because I said I didn't mind if she experimented with a girl on occation. I shouldn't be expected to be exclusive with her, while she gets to sleep with other girls, unless I can sleep with other girls too...and thus the relationship disolves.