ButterflyWrists

yeah thank you so much for all the help you all have given me, and NDG it means alot, and helps alot more than I attually expected!

ok too much info about the snoring XD btw, i be very hyper now lol! hehehe, *sings move ur * * * by scooter*

go to bed silly! ur sleepy! nighty night!

yea u can join me with it honey, moral support is what i need!

oki, thanx, ill have a look soon but one problem, im not in school any more, i start college in september tho. Do you lot think it would be a good idea to see a shrink?

well we cant fault you on bad spelling as u have already warnd us tht you are dyslexic

Thanx for the help i've read the links, and yeah. . . but how do i stop wanting to tlk to him? and how do i rid myself of him?

NDG u aint no failire, u've made me happier than i have been in 4 years!

im not going to talk to him again

im no good at doing Quotes

also legall I can already move out. but i need to live at home so i can get ema (Education Maintinance Alowance)

also one last bit on the past before i work with myself to get better: My Ex wrote all that, on another forum. Also one thing he left out was he tryed to kill me 7 times

wel as far as i know my mums childhood was fine as far as i know. and yeah it is probably why i went to jon (my Ex)

oh. . . then no. I'm not sure about my mum being abused before her 1st husbond. But she does choose the abusive types yea. Probably why I stayed so long with my Ex. . . And my is trying to guilt trip me, yesterday he rang me saying he'd OD'd himself, but he lied, he was trying to get sympathy from me. The pathetic little git

Well I don't know what escation means, but the SH came after suicide attempts.

i know, and the suicidal feeling will pass, it is passing as i feel more let out, and i feel i can cope better, especially as i have ur support! i wouldnt be able to do this without someone whome i know's support! and u give the best!

ok, well, i didnt attually go totally in depth, as tht would be a whole life story, lol. but what ever you want to know you may ask, as i've got out the worst, and right now i attually am feeling rather suicidal, but it'll pass!

This is going to be long I warn you: As people keep asking me questions, I'm going to write out all I can remember, in detail: 1st three years of my life: My dad used to beat my mum up, and my older brother. He was a very 'religious man' and always went to church, and was attually friends with the local vicker. Once he set alight to the bed him and my mum shared, I was the one whome found her, hence my fear of fire. (Btw, my mum is still alive). He threatend to sexually abuse me, but as far as I know he never did. Everytime we left my dad, he'd find us and take us back, incuding my mum. When I was 11months old, I had meninjitus, and was very lucky to survive. Once when I was on a train I had one of those little child buggy things, and I'd broken it from too much bouncing, hey, they were made for it! And it broke, and one of the springs ripped open my nappy, my dad sued them, meaning I should have compensation floating around somewhere. 3-5 years. Finally we got away from my dad, but that wasn't going to be the end of it. He kept trying to claim costordy of me and my brother. But always failed, thank god! For a while we lived in refugies. Finally we got a place to live in south molten in devon, at that time I never saw my dad, my mum had a guy friend, whome she acted like was our dad for that year, he was really nice. But he's moved to New Zeeland. We had to move from southmolten as there were mushrooms growing behind the UPSTAIRS toilet, I found them, hence my fear of mushrooms! So then we moved into a lovely cottage in a place called Marighansleigh. We lived there for a year, and I had to catch a taxi to my bus stop so I could get to school, this was when I was four. I wasn't really in school much due to choronic earache! 5-10 After living there, we moved to Molland, a tiny little village, we had some happy years, up until i was 8, when my mum met Pete, he was a right **** and abused us all, I have already said about this, and I don't want to repeat it. When I was ten I moved to somerset, where I live still now, things got better, with my ears and everything, for a little while, but before we moved here, I lived in yeovil, I cannot remember where my brother lived while I was there. My mum was in a 'mental' hospital, due to neighbours being right ****s. 10-16 Well all was ok, until I was 13, when my mum met nick, she'd told me and my brother not to let her get a boyfriend after Pete, so I of course did my best to stop them going out, and I failed misserablely, so at the age of 13, after 3 months of nick living with us, I ran away, to devon, it was the day of my 1st sat's exam. I was only away for one night, I'd ended up phoning my mum as I had no where to go. And she got her friend to get me from where I was, until she could get me. Things never got any better between me and my mums boyfriend, I self harmend alot at that time. Also I had a boyfriend, whome you know about from the poem, and I've already talked about. Nick always took his pissed moods out on me after m brother got a car. And he does still, but now also when he doesn't want to talk to his daughter. Now up to the current time. Well things have only just really came out into the open, and I'm glad things are out finally, but I still feel very insicure. And suicidal. Since my mum got with nick is the times other than one that I attempted suicide. All 'flawless' ways. 5 attempts were hanging, I always ended up getting myself out. 3 OD's, 4 sofocation. 2 infront of vercals. Well you can ask any questions you want.

i dont want her to worry about me as she is really ill. my friend was messin around with my cousin. i may be on from time to time the next few days, but im unsure depending on wht im doing.

Aww. . . Well I'm not going to be on here for a few days, as a friend is over. and i dont want her to find out! Oh, i used to SH cause i was really depressed. and no one liked me. my only friend i had is at mine, pluking my cousins eye brows! Oh and my frelationship with my mum and her BF atm is going ok, although i did have an argument earlier today. but yeah, when my mms bf gets drunk or tipsy he always takes his mood out on me. and he almost always gets pissed/tipsy.

Your on here now, and you can make new friends. What kind of things are you into? If possible you can join an activity? I know it's hard to talk to new people, but if you disslike the way you look, you can change it, to boost your confidance?

No one should take it personal, I came on here with my Ex, I know he was a **** and I use these forums to get help from an outsider. It's nothing personal to anyone, not my family friends or you. You help in a different way!

it isnt ur fault! its my own

a great uncle and his son.

All they knew was why I ran away the first time, and the suicide atempt that followed it. Or was the suicide atempt before it? I can't remember. They helped me with the run away part. But that is about all. Also there is a history (of 2 people) of suicide in my family.