SapphireStar

...your own MOTHER buys you a...sex toy?

This is humiliating. What am I supposed to say?

Shred my skin and pierce my eyes

Let me down, hear my cries

Torture makes a person strong

I've needed torture all along.

Make me cry, save my tears

Keep me in a cage for years

Tear me up and watch me cave

This kind of torture is what I crave

Stretch me till I start to break

Make it last, I'll feel the hate

Build me up and let me fall

Force me to taste my blood on the wall

Throw me in and hold me under

Make a scream that sounds like thunder

Shred my skin and pierce my eyes

Let me down, hear my cries

Torture makes a person strong

I've needed torture all along.

Dreams

____________

Dreams of sorrow,

dreams of hate,

dreams of my life,

dreaming me away.

dreams of love,

dreams of time,

dreams of a place...

a place that's mine

Scream

_____________________________

Love in the form of liquid

Draining you of life

A rose red path down your sheet white skin

Love is pain, they all say this

The warnings are blocked,

For you have your own ways

Scream it, scream

Let it all go

Dark will overcome you

Keep on screaming

Scream away the fear,

The Pain

The Guilt

Scream until you can't

Scream all you wish

For screaming solves nothing,

And everything you need

The scream of the razor on your skin

Make the scream bleed.

Delightful Death

______________________________________________

Stop, stop, leave me here.

Don't look back, you'll die I fear

Caged like an animal, she cries into the darkness

"I hope you're happy with your new life!"

Help me die, help me die,

I think we can do it, if we try

I don't want to live here, not here in the dark

Help me die, just help me die

You'll offer your hand, but I won't reach

This is how it's supposed to be

The clutter and mess, it'll all be gone

Blown away with the wind, towards the dawn

The dawn of our delightful death

Awww. I really enjoyed that! It's adorable.

My family? I would hardly call it a family. I can't talk to them at all. My only sibling has moved away and I really don't want anything to do with him. He gave me hell as a child.

I just really want to hit something right now, but I feel too weak. I haven't felt this way in...well, I don't think I've *ever* felt quite like this before.

To get right to the point, I'm falling apart. Both emotionally and mentally. I just had a relapse and sliced the hell out of my wrist again. But the worst thing about it is that I did it while talking to two people online. I told them both. Is that wrong? I wanted someone to help me feel better, so I went fishing for compassion. (I didn't get any, but that's not the point.) I can't help feeling guilty now.

I'm literally shaking...I just don't know what to do anymore. I feel so alone, even though I'm not. I've been seriously contemplating suicide for the past few days. Whenever I try to talk to people about it, they just tell me to stop being emo. I;m NOT being emo, I just want to get away.

I have the feeling my friends are getting bored with me, or annoyed because I have no self control, or I'm too insecure. But I can't help it. I;ve always been that way. I'm just waiting for one or all of them to up and leave, just like another guy did.

And recently, another guy has come into my life. He's the sweetest guy ever, and I find myself attracted to him in more ways than one. But he's completely unattainable, for several reasons.

My two best friends are getting married soon. I'm so happy for them, but they just seem so busy lately...it's almost like they never have time for me anymore. And I really love them, so it hurts when they don't talk to me for days at a time.

And school is another thing. It's really starting to piss me off. I've already been threatened, and had a rumor started about me.

*sigh* I feel like I'm going insane.

I realize that, that's why I wrote this. It's my way of letting go. And thank you for you compliment.

To Say Goodbye

_____________________________

You leave me here waiting

You don't pick up the phone

As I stand this night away thinking

"What the hell did have I done wrong?"

My love now is worthless if I can't give it to you

Now my heart is broken,

You have torn it in two.

I really hope you're happy

With your brand new life

I know it's better than anything you could see in me

So you just left me be.

The worst thing, I know

Is the way I can't hate you.

In my broken heart you'll always reside,

Could I just hear your voice once more,

Even if it's to say goodbye?

It's not odd at all. Why you would want to change it is beyond me.

It's lovely, Steven. Please don't change a word of it.

Really? You think telling a lie is okay in my situation?

I realize that. It's part of the reason I want to *end* the relationship.

He's eighteen.

No, my parents don't know. They don't know a lot of what goes on with me, I'd really like to keep it that way.

Okay, here's the story: I met this guy a while ago who's a lot older than me. Because I'm stupid, I said yes when he asked me out. Now, I'm completely uncomfortable. I find I become near physically sick when he touches me in any way. I have to break up with him, but I'm not sure how to do it. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thanks.

Wow. That was amazing. Best I've read in a long while. How long have you been writing poetry? You have a natural talent, Steven. Remember, use it to the best of your ability. Wonderful job.

Very impressive. I don't think I'm capable of writing something as meaningful as that. Good job.

I used to be addicted to the Internet to the point it was almost like a disorder for me. I didn't go anywhere, I didn't see anyone, I just surfed and chatted. I honestly think a big part of it was my tendency of being overly insecure. I hated the way I looked, (and still do, somewhat) and I didn't want anybody I didn't know seeing me. I'm a lot better about it now, though. I'll go out often, but I still get online every day.

Deleted...

You have talent, absolutely. I enjoyed reading these. Keep it up!

If you said "stop" or anything of the sort before or duing sex, and he didn't stop right then, then yes, it's rape. It doesn't matter if you said it was okay before. If you said no after, while you were having sex and he didn't stop, it's rape. But remember, it's NOT your fault. That guy was obviously an idiot and a pig and needs to be taught a lesson.

If you ever need to talk to someone, feel free to PM me, okay? And remember, this was NOT your fault.

Is this natural? I'm bisexual, and I'm having feeling for a certain trans woman...I've never had any feelings like this before. Any advice? Please?

I agree. Very good job, Slightlybent.

Amazing! I really enjoyed reading this.