Silentlyfor

I've found out something about myself that strikes me as a "need-to-know" epiphany more than anything else in my life that I think sums up my character as a human being I have ambition. I have ideas. Hell, I even have talent(I write VERY well).

Here's the problem. I have NO drive or sense of hard work and I'm starting to realize that this sort of attitude is a problem. I have a problem and that problem is innate laziness.

I have all these goals and I keep saying, "I'm going to be well know someday for what I've always wanted to do." However, despite this often spoken need for going to college or writing a novel OR finding something that will make me happy in the long run, I, instead, sit on my fat duff, fell my * * * grow and keep THINKING about my goals and dreams while playing video games, eating snacks and/or watching TV.

Here's the kicker. I used to be a get up and go sort of guy until about 6 months ago, where I've slowly been degrading into a slovenly couch potato that doesn't have an ambition anymore. It's been bothering me and haunting me like a plague and I'm realizing that I have had enough! Yet even as I type this, I feel like just doing a whole lot of nothing afterwards.

I don't like this feeling, yet I keep drifting back to it. I need help and I need to know where I can get it from. Any ideas?

What amount is healthy?

I ask because I have an embarrassing problem... or at least I think it's a problem. I think A LOT. I have so many thoughts going through my head. So... I have a tendency to yammer to myself about myself when I'm alone and I think nobody is around. However... I do seem to go on and on and since I don't want to keep these thoughts pent up, including what I think about others.

Is this healthy? Should I seek help? I feel pressured to do this because my room mate may have heard me doing this yesterday and woke him up. Some of my rambling was about him. Sad thing is, I didn't even know he was home. I'm sorta thinking that I'm crazy here and I should get help for this.

yeah I sent a letter for closure to my ex as well. Afterward she threatened to call the police, ANYWAY.

Good choice. Don't give them the satisfaction of showing your pain. It did me very little good. It would probably server you in the same way.

Oh my gosh. Who carese if you agree with the other posters. He didn't come here asking to be judged. Keep your judgements to yourself. They're not helping anyone.

 

If he's moved on in his mind, no amount of belittling or namecalling is going to make him change.

 

Whether or not it's a mistake, is not the issue. He didn't ask, he doesn't care. He wanted to know if this was normal response. Not to be called a jerk.

 

While I'm sure his wife is going through hell, she's not the one asking for advice.

We're just telling him straight. Mabey being honest and forthright with him will encourage him to change. But I think what the other posters are trying to do is show that his wife is not in the wrong for the pain he's feeling.

And, you know what, your post does confound me quite a bit. As a person that has been left by somebody that he loved dearly without a good reason why, you should be somewhat ashamed that you feel bad about leaving her. Sorry man, but if I were her, I would also do No Contact. Why would I put up with a person like that?

I don't know if I'm just a psychopath or something but these days, I can't get my ex out of my mind. It's been 7 months since we were last together. I seem to have trouble moving on because I'm constantly thinking of her and what she is doing all the time.

It's not painful anymore. My raw emotional wounds closed off about 2 - 2 1/2 months ago. But I find myself thinking about what she is doing right now, how happy she is and... well... the real reason she left me. It's not sadness anymore but regret. I feel I missed out when we parted from each other. This started generally around Christmas time and after I heard from my ex-best friend that she was getting married soon.

She was not good to me at all. She was emotionally abusive(constantly threatened to break up with me constantly, mocked me, insulted me in public, etc.) and she never listened to me or my concerns during the relationship. Yet, I still think I'm not going to find anybody else. I keep feeling like she was my only chance to find somebody to be happy with.

I'm not going to contact her, although I frequently have fantasies of giving her the 'what for' for what she put me through during the relationship and the harassment soon afterward by her. I don't want to ever see her again and I probably won't. Yet... I still can't help by think about her even to this day. I even remember I was going to ask her to marry me after I was done my therapy.

Why? Will this end? How long will I remain wounded for?

IQ 154 here. Not sure why I have such a high IQ or if the test is even accurate or viable.

I'm also rather anti-social and, at times, very reclusive.

Trust me man. Trust me. I understand.

Your problem is not entirely uncommon, actually. I'm 23(going on to 24 soon, myself) and I feel like I'm still undeveloped as an adult. I feel like I'm no older than 18 or 19. I also didn't have much consel when it came to being a man. My father was more petulant than any person in the house when I was growing up so I had no real strong role model for manhood.

However, despite this, I still moved out with buddies of mine at the age of 23. If anything else, this reinforces independance if anything else. Personally, manhood is too undefinable given the myraid examples of "what a man is" for me to give a damn.

So I'd suggest moving out first and foremost. This will give you a perception of what it is like to depend on yourself for the first time. Trust me, you'll thank yourself for it.

Hey all. Ever since my late teens and given my gift with language, I've wanted to write for a living. I've run into a few problems along the way that have made things a bit trying for me as of late. First off, I don't what medium I should write for. I have a few interests I can delve into but I'm mostly a jack of all trades in terms of what i know. I do want to do novels and whatnot, but in the meantime I don't know if I would perform well as a writer as a magazine journalist or if I could write short stories for a living or what. I want to put bread on my table by writing. THAT'S what I want to do.

Second, there are days where my writing ability is phenomanal. Other days, I either feel lethargic, or apathetic or largely untalented. THOSE days, I write as well as a grade schooler. I don't know how to make my ability as a writer seamless and uninterrupted by things such as creative apathy and whatnot.

Third, education. As a writer, I don't know where I should go or what degree I would need. One thing is for certain, however, I do want a degree or Post Secondary Education in this field or an area likened to the realm of writing. What degree should I go for? Where should I get it?

I'm hoping that fellow writers will post here and give whatever fruits of their experiences or knowledge will give me. However, I would LOVE ANY feedback anybody has to give.

I have the same problem and I'm 24. I find it embarrassing because I'm rather clueless as to what to do next whether it's school, a relationship/marriage or whatever else there is to do in life.

My best advice is keep your head up and try to plan the next move in your life. That's what I did when I was in your shoes... at the same age no less. Try to keep friends and positive people around you. These can advise and generally give you the leg up when you are down.

On top of that, try to get out more and get some healthy exercise by walking/running/etc. to get some motivation going. Doing that will initiate activity and make you feel like you've done something.

Remember the cardinal rules here; There is always hope and giving up completely can be one of the hardest things in the world. Hope you do well, Scorpio8647!

This IS a great thread. I'm 24 myself (or nearing 24) rather by the end of January and I'm moving back in with my parents after a huge fight with a friend/room mate. I want to go back to school but for some reason I keep getting the vibe from myself that it's too late to go back. I don't know if it's because I'm afraid, embarrassed(living with my folks and all).

I still want to write. I still want to do what I've always wanted to do and that's a creative career where the control is mine to do with what I please within reasonable bounds. But I feel so inhibited... I still constantly get this feeling like.. well, ya know; "I'm in my mid 20's. I should think about getting settled and having kids and whatnot.". And I do want that, but I seem to think that that I need to focus on myself first. I'm wondering what I should do at this point in my life since I'm STILL trying to figure out what my life is all about.

Should I study? Should I go find some pretty young thing and then marry her? Should I feel a bit ashamed with the fact that I'm about to move in with my folks? Ya see... I've never had a strong figure in my life to point these things out or direct me. In short, I'm asking, what do I do now?

Merry Xmas, everyone!! I'm not doing anything for Xmas, but I'm still feeling good. I'm little lonely however, but the holidays will end. How's everyone doing?

There's a girl at work that I would like to get to know. She's short, sweet, cute and blonde. As a stockboy, however, it's hard to get close to her and talk to her as she is a cosmetician. How can I tactfully get to know her better.

Right now we talk in passing but we haven't really spoken at great length about anything. How can I get to know her a lot better and how can I do it in a way that doesn't make me look desperate or lecherous?

Guys. I'm doing great now. How's everybody else doing?

Any other advice? I'm very new to dating and what not altogether, ANY advice would be great.

You know what, I'll try this for a while, first. I'll keep you guys posted.

There's a girl at work that I would like to get to know. She's short, sweet, cute and blonde. As a stockboy, however, it's hard to get close to her and talk to her as she is a cosmetician. How can I tactfully get to know her better.

Right now we talk in passing but we haven't really spoken at great length about anything. How can I get to know her a lot better and how can I do it in a way that doesn't make me look desperate or lecherous?

It's better now. We've spoken and I'm still moving out to save whatever friendship we have left. I think everything will be ok as long as the move goes of without a kitch.

Damn. Now I'm thinking about my ex a bit. Man I hate this holiday's effect on my mind. It's not bad. I'm not miserable. I just want to know how she's doing and everything. I really wish I didn't watch that Simpsons episode with that Wedding with Apu. Stupid emotions.

That sounds like a good idea... but I think I need to let him cool down first... Let the blood dry so to speak. I'm still leaving the townhouse as I think it would be the best for both of us.

I think we both need time first.

Still doing ok. Having lost a friendshp in December is taking its toll though. Really loved the guy almost like a brother. On the plus side, my ex is definitely not on my mind anymore. So anyway, I think I'll be fine.

I'll keep you guys posted further!

See... I can agree with that, but that sounds a bit seclusive and, if you don't mind me saying, possesive and paranoid. I know this would save me a lot of pain in the future, but would that limit the number of people I could keep close to my heart?

On the other hand, as we get older, we seem to know fewer and fewer people that are still close to us. This rationale might fly given the way friendships seem to work in adulthood.

Well. It started with cleaning. We both thought the other didn't clean enough. Since this was the final straw for me(And I have to admit, I don't like living with him. He makes me miserable), I said, "I'm moving out." Then he went off.

Yesterday, because of a room mate quarell that got out of hand... My best friend just told me off, called me a loser, told me to leave myself for dead and decided that I was not going to be his friend or the friends of anyone in our circle. They were the only real friends I had. I have no friends and I am alone now.

Also, I think I have a chronic problem keeping and staying close to people. Even people I've know for years whom I've forage strong and lasting friendships with I seem to sever for petty reasons. My friend above told me I'm too selfish and childish and I care only for myself. I'm starting to think he has a point. This is the second time in my life I've severed myself from a close group of friends and I think I have a serious problem. I don't know what to do.

I'm doing ok. A friendship of mine just ended today. Our of anger, my friend told me my ex was getting married next year and moving in with the man she was seeing and buying a house or something. I took that rather well, actually.

I'm dreading Christmas day a little bit but I should be fine. I'm having dinner with the family, including my mother. It should be fun. OH... I've found GOD!! I've become a Christian again after 7 years of agnosticism and atheism.

Everyone still doing alright?

I'm on board, too. Just because we don't have anyone in our arms doesn't mean we can't still spend time with each other. We can not only get THROUGH the holidays, but mabey even have fun.

Right now I"m listening to Shakesphere. I'm good for a few days. Gotta love your local library.