Silentlyfor

I'm trying very hard to do that... and I know that life is worth living without my ex. I'm just not sure if I'm in grief or I'm depressed.

I've started trying a few things; jogging, writing, playing video games. But, like today, I feel just completely shut down. It's to the point where talking to people doesn't even help because I feel so lonely.

I've been a partner in a relationship for about a year now and it would be 3 months since my ex-partner broke up with me and 3 weeks since she started seeing a new guy that she's absolutely in love with. Even though it's only been a year with this women, when I found out she was with a new guy, my grief started.

I've been through the worst of it. When it started I felt the worst in pain in my life from not having her within my presense anymore and it was to the point I wanted to die to make the pain stop. I couldn't eat. I felt sick to my stomache constantly and she was always on my mind. The pain started getting easy to deal with as time progressed and she was on my mind less a little bit each day... but I still had(and have) that impulse to contact and be her friend.

I succumbed to that impulse twice now. I msged her when my grief started to tell her that I still wanted to be her friend. The next time, I sent a msg to insult her. And now I often time and again feel the need to contact her and even read her blog to have some connection with her.

What I had a problem dealing with is dealing with how fast she fell in love with this new guy she just met. Now I just have a problem with generally being alone which reminds me of my ex which starts a viscious cycle again.

What hurts me even more is that she got over me and any possible friendship between us in 3 weeks. It's been a 3 months and my grief only started 3 weeks ago.

My question is, when does this pain and yearning for her stop? When will my grief be over? I also think what should be kept in mind is this was my first relationship and hers as well.