ty1982

Hello All, I am in need of help again. After the great advice I received from here before (thanks!) I stepped it up a notch to show my friend that I want to go past the "friendship stage". You know, more calls, emails, meeting up, etc. I didn't go over the top, but tried to flirt - vocally and physically. I went away for a week on business, and received a nice email from him saying he would like to see me when I get back. I got home on Friday, and gave him a call. He ended up calling me three times that night and I ended up meeting him out with my friends. He was with all his guy friends so we didn't spend that much time together, but when we did it went well. The usual feeling of "something is there" - we had some intense eye contact, we always brushed hands on purpose, lots of flirting from my end! My friends and I decided to leave and just before we left I went for it - I grabbed him aside and told him how I dragged my friends over to this bar to see him, and how I wanted him to know that. He kind of gave me a weird response - as in not really anything. I played cool and just left - I didn't want to be any more forward. I thought I made myself pretty clear - I mean beyond saying "I LIKE YOU!!!" in his face I made it pretty obvious in a non-direct way. So I thought I put the ball in his court. But guess what, 5 days later and I still haven't heard from him. All the right signs were there from both our ends, but my first bold move got me nowhere. I feel like I would seem desperate if I called or emailed him now - I feel it is his turn. But I also think he is just that shy kind of guy that has little experience dating. What should I do? Leave it be, take the hint that no communication from him means no interest, or do something myself? I just feel it is his turn to do something. Any advice or thought would be great.

Hi Again.... Thanks again for the help, and i would like some more if that's ok! I took your advice and started emailing more often, suggesting we get together for dinner, etc. That was more than I have ever done before so I'll gave myself a little pat on the back. I did get some replys from him - nothing really out of the ordinary tho. Yes he wants to go out, but not sounding like he is in any rush to see me. Now my question - should I keep emailing him and asking him to meet up? I don't want to seem desperate, but I want to get the hint out there. I can't really make the flirty/touchy moves until I see him in person, so I need schedule some 1-1 time with him. Maybe my emails aren't being flirty enough? But how much is too much? Should I just sit back and wait, or should I keep asking to see him? Is there anything else I could do to show him I want to take our friendship further? I'm thinking he doesn't realize I want to see him on more of a "date" vs. friends hanging out. Again, thanks for your help friends!

Thanks for the advice friends - I'm going to try it out and hike up the flirting, emailing, etc Wish me luck!!

My story is pretty common – I met a guy in school and we became friends. Not best friends, but we had a lot of mutual friends and attended the same social functions. A few months later I began to feel somthing more and thought it would be great to take our friendship to the next level. But like so many others, I was unsure about what to do - how could I tell him my true feelings? That initial "spark" I felt between us was more than two years ago and now, after all this time, I seem to be in the same position. I wasn't completely overwhelmed with feelings from him for all this time. I had other interests and thought about him less frequently, especially when we graduated and began careers in different cities. I thought because we finished school we would drift apart like many friends tend to do. I still thought of him from time to time, but overall I thought I moved on. Around a month ago I got an awesome promotion at work and was relocated. And yes, to the same city as my "friend". Before my move, I thought I should reconnect with some old classmates that were in the city. I just for fun, I thought I would include him. He seemed fairly excited I was returning…and I felt myself getting excited to see him again. I saw him again for the first time in months last weekend and again, I can officially say my feelings have returned. But I feel even more confused than ever. Before I had school to distract me – now it feels it is the perfect time to be in a relationship. I am at that time in my life to find someone. And I want to try it out with him. My problem is this – how do I make that first move? I am not completely scared to be rejected by him. Of course it would be awful, but at least I would know. I am just hesitant because we have so many mutual friends. If I tell him, all of my other friends will know, and if he rejects me, they will all hear about it. If our friendship turns sour because of my confessions, how will our mutual friends react? Will they have to choose sides? Will it turn everyone against me/him? I am not excepting us to live happily ever after or anything. I just want to know how he feels and I want him to know how I feel about him. Then, if the feelings are mutual, we can try it out – taking our friendship to the next level. There have been many times in the past that I felt that he likes me as well. Small signs that I notice – eye contacts, grabbing my hand, etc. I just don't understand if he feels this way why he hasn't made any moves. I feel there is something holding him back. I need advice – what should I do? Do I just tell him and hope all goes well? Do I take it slow and see what happens (my current approach – hello 2 years of waiting!!!)? How do I tell him? What do I do???? Any advice or previous experiences are greatly appreciated. Thank you for reading friends!