sometimes_vague

No sexual chemistry which ultimately lead to a wall building between us intimately

Good questions to raise. Kissing is important to me. I think it can be a really initmate time with your partner without sex. It can also lead to making love. It can also be an important part of making love. So the fact that his kiss has always been awkward does worry me. I've talked to him about it and even tried to encourage some change - but it never works and its still the same 4 years on. The chemistry thing. When we have sex I feel as though i might as well not be in the room most of the time. This is a truly wonderful generous, thoughtful guy in our relationship, yet in the bedroom he is completely selfish. Over time that has lead me to switch off completely from him in a sexual sense. And so now he wants it and I just can't. He's been really patient and hasn't pushed me to or anything, but I know he is down about it. But I just can't continue to put myself through something that makes me feel so alienated from the one I love. I've told him about this as well. Most recently with examples of why I feel that way. He was shocked and said for the first time ever he has realised how selfish he has always been in regards to sex and wants me to give him a second chance. I don't know if I can. So I am wondering if maybe all we have is a devine companionship and friendship, yet the sexual chemistry will never be. And if so I'm not sure that is enough for a lifetime together. Yet I don't want to lose him or what we have together either. So how important is chemistry to a long lasting and satisfying r'ship. I hear people say that it is the spark/chemistry that can keep couples together during hard times. If we don't have that, what will keep us together. I'm also sometimes jeleous of other people who so clearly have the spark - they also often seem to have crazy relationships so up and down, but I still envy the look they have for each other in their eyes. Hmmmmmmmmmmmm

I'm at a point where I'm thinking my relationship of almost 4 years needs to come to an end because I have been waiting for our sexual chemistry to kick off. We have such a beautiful friendship, we laugh and cry together, we travel the world and are the closest of friends. Yet when it comes to chemistry I just don't get the spark, unfortunately he does. The biggest thing that has always sat in the back of my mind has been the fact that our kiss has always felt awkward to me, like a first kiss as a teenager. I expected it would get better over time, but it is still the same. I now wonder if the kiss is the first indication of whether there is something on the deeper level? If it isn't in his kiss, then can I really love this person on a deeper level and share my life with him? What do you think. Is it is the kiss?