I had been in a long term relationship (6years) and 4 months ago it ended. My ex kept putting me down and making me feel worthless in an effort to try to end things without her making the decision. I knew what she wanted so I gave it to her and ended it for her.
I love her but I knew that the only way I could get her back was to let her go and let things play out, I gave her space I never begged, never called her and was always friendly. She kept in contact with me over the phone and the internet, sometimes she even called up crying and apologising but at the same time she didn't want me back. All this time I was really depressed, I wanted her back and I couldn't do anything about it.
I got fed up and decided to travel for a month, two days before I was to leave she called me up saying that she misses me and that she really would like to meet up with me. I was shocked but felt that it would be better to wait until I got back to see her so I would have more to talk about and be more interesting. By this time I was very cautious and played a little hard to get.
During my trip we spoke on the internet and she reconfirmed how she felt, said that she had been crying every night for the past week. I told her that she needs to look forward and she said she is and she sees what we could be like. So I was convinced that things were going to be ok when I got back... I kept myself from showing too much of my feelings to her because I felt that if she trully loved me as she could wait for me.
Well I came back only to find that she no longer was sad, she no longer saw us being together and when I asked her the reason she said that she had her periods and she was very emotional.
To me this is a childish excuse for "I really don't know what I want but since I know I have you now, I don't want you."
I don't know it feels like as soon as I started showing interest in being with her again she completely switched. Last night I became very weak and called her up telling her that I really want to see her and that i'm sorry for rejecting her when she wanted to meet" She said its too late and that when we first broke up deep down she felt that I would be the one she would marry and have children with but now she doesn't feel that.
I'm a little confused, did I give her too much time to think things over? I haven't seen her in 4months, how does she know if she does or doesn't want me back... She is the one that wanted to breakup in the first place, then she wanted me back and now she doesn't. I've all along wanted her but have been cautious.
Any insights would be good, I don't usually post on forums but this is really getting me down.
