shyandconfused

Really i've learned a lot over the last weeks about women, how to be flirty and funny etc. I feel that being friends with this girl may at least open some doors and maybe i might even meet some of her friends, if nothing happens between us. She hasn't answered me yet. I ended the last e-mail with "There's a concert on in ******** on **st March but i'm not sure if that will weekend will suit. But if there's anything else on... ?" I know it's not the right way to ask someone (with the "dot dot dot"), but i'm hoping she'll take the hint and ask me down to her place. I know it's not right to give her all the "power" but... But anyway even if it doesn't work out, i still think i've got some extra skills for future reference.

Yes. I think friendzone is my only option. I replied to her e-mail, but as a friend, not flirty or very funny, just boring. I just have to work with the situation. I'm really infatuated with her, and would be happy just to be around her even as friends - it's better than nothing!

Ok maybe the e-mail chain make much sense. But if you knew her you'd see that she's really nice. I'm really in love with her. The e-mail is full of jargan that her and my sister use, it wouldn't make sense to an outsider. Is there anything i can send her now that will make her "like" me?

Ok, you just write one, not too cocky, and i'll send it. And you'll be surprised but i haven't discussed anything with the sister!

I've still got so much to learn!! Just one thing though about the length. She *did* ask me a few personal questions, should i just say that i'll tell her about it some other time? ...................................... For reference: link removed link removed

Ya. It was just a suggestion. I'll probably talk it out since it sounds a bit rude. It was just my pathetic attempt to be charming and flirtatious!

Thanks, it's good to get a few different perspectives on the issue. So i want to show her that i'm interested and that i'd like to meet up with her, but at the same time not seem "needy". So i'll let her organize a concert if she wants to, and i'll say that if there's nothing on, then i'll invite her to a different one when i get back from holidays. How does this sound: "Dang, so this is what it feels like to get stood up!!!............. How did the ********** help me? Well last week i invited this girl i *really* like to a concert, which is something i've never done before! Unfortunately i was rejected so i think she just doesn't like me. What do *you* think?? Ya it's understandable about not wanting to miss the lectures. I thought it was at weekend. There's a Puccini's Tosca Opera Friday **st March in ******** but i'm not sure if i'll be free that weekend. Mbut sure if there's anything else on in ********.... and if not i'm sure there'll be a concert on sometime when I get back. I'll write ya a postcard (if my hands aren't too damaged from cactus wounds!). Where will you be when i get back?? - If ya don't call me, i'll call over to your college library where i *presume* you'll be "studying"!;-}..." So it kind of leaves the issue in her hands, but also shows that i'd like to meet her again. Also sorry for asking for so much advice, i feel guilty for taking advantage of ye'r helpfulness! /* Also, i know it's not to be taken seriously but here's my today's romance horoscope: "Go out with a group this weekend, Cancer. It not only reduces the pressure of one-to-one dating, but can make you feel comfy and cozy without getting too emotionally involved. Keeping your life simple is far from boring, and could be the best way to enjoy yourself now."*/

Don't mind me but my star sign (cancer) says... "Your past experiences have helped you to develop compassion. Now someone in your midst needs your understanding as they go through something similar. While you might initially want to shy away, step up to the plate instead." Could this be about the girl???

Yes. I am what you'd call a "pure" loner. The description in the original post is of me i think. The general feeling in the "pure" loner community is this.... "What's so good about me that anyone would want to hang around with me. What have i got that's so special that i deserve to talk to anyone else." "What so special about me that i should be anyone's friend". Again, even if someone acts friendly to us.... we are afraid that if we act friendly back that the other person will be thinking... "Who does this guy think he is, acting like we are friends. What's so special about him that he feels that anyone would want to be his friend. What's the point of him?". Even if we know someone, we still wouldn't sit beside them in class, just in case thay have turned against us. And yes. The reason they feel bad about themselves is because usually they *are* hiding something. There is something about their personality that they are ashamed of, and that they don't want anyone else to find out about.

This is too confusing.](*,) There's so many conflicting ideas. I agree with what you said about that she probably couldn't take time off college. But on the other hand, she *did* say that she missed nearly 3 weeks of college - if thats the case then surely another day wouldn't make much difference? Another fear of mine is that my sister's boyfriend (RIP):splat: has played the needy game too often. At every opertunity he jumps to her command, and tries to be with her at every cost. If she says "jump" he asks "how high?", if she says "run" he says "i will, but please remove my leash or i will choke!". He is desperate and needy. But this doesn't seem to be working too well for him. It drives her mad to say the least. I don't want to be the type of person who seems like i *need* her at any cost. I want her to think i'm a cool guy(corny) whose got a life (even though i don't). I just feel that i'd be respecting myself more if i played hard to get. When i come back from holidays i'll have loads to talk about with her. If i take the opertunity now, i might get a date. But if i want more than a date, i think i should wait a bit. Also, if i wait till monday, she might think that she has hurt my feelings and start thinking more about me etc. One more thing, that if she *really* likes me, then she won't accept my excuse. She will go ahead anyway and book a concert and ask me to go.

Ya, i'll go for a walk, alone You don't need to comment on this too quickly - i'll send it to her on monday, (or tuesday,depending on how i'm feeling). Unfortunately, she was my only chance to "hang out" with another person. I don't have any other friends. ................ /*See post #30*/

------------------------------------------

Ok. Now i'm starting to feel a bit bitter towards her. She did afterall make an excuse even before i gave her the date of the concert. I'm going to ******* for 2 months in * weeks. Maybe i *should* just "stand her up" like pocodiablo said and tell her that we might meet up when i get back? It could be worth the wait. Ya. I've decided that i will "tease" her a bit and play hard to get. I've make a mess of the whole situation. If i leave her waiting she will want me more. Is that a good idea? I can say that i'm doing some renovations at home and painting the house before i go away and won't have much time to go to her city.

I don't understand what you just said But i think i won't answer her till monday, just not wanting to seem desperate etc.

Agreed: Boring, non-flirty, pointless etc. I'll come up with something good, but just to put it in prespective... (By the way it's just a draft version!) ...........