Angela1982

Thank you SO MUCH for responding!! You both gave wonderful advice and I really can't thank you enough for taking the time to do that. Just one more thing... Ivy, you made the wonderful point about resolving my issues, which I completely agree with. The only problem is, i have no idea how to go about doing that! Not even where to start! I really like the advice of memorizing 10 things I love about him to prevent future problems, but I have no clue what to do about the problems that are already with me. Any suggestions would be so very appreciated!! You guys are wonderful!

Hi everyone! I have never posted anything to a forum before, but I am really in need of some advice. I just don't know what is wrong with me. One year ago, I would have given anything to have my life where it is today... but something is wrong. I guess it would be wise to start from the beginning... Last year I was in a horrible relationship- My first one. We fought constantly, broke up constantly, but always got back together. It was an emotional rollercoaster- complete drama- for two years. I had a very hard time letting go of the relationship- as did he, but eventually I had to go to the police because of some horrible things that happened between us. I cut off all contact with him, and to this day have not said a word to him. I was sure this is not how I wanted my life to go. A few months passed. I got on my feet, paid off some debt, re-connected with friends and family, and dated. Nothing serious. Then, one wonderful night, I was with some friends and I began talking with someone whom I've always had a big crush on. We began dating, and it was the absolute happiest time of my life. It was what I had always wanted- he is my perfect match. Everything about him is beautiful, and I am so much in love with him. We have been dating for 9 months now- and it has been great. I truly love him with all of my heart. But lately, I have found myself looking to pick fights with him. Over nothing. I started crying the other day because he said that he was tired and would go home after the movie we went to go see was finished. I took it as a sign that he didn't want to spend time with me, and was mean to him the rest of the night. But he does want to spend time with me- he goes out of his way to almost every day! This sounds silly and minute, but I do similar things so many times a week. Its like I throw a tantrum, so he'll feel bad for something, but he isn't doing anything wrong at all! I read into everything he says, looking for hidden insults, or clues that he will be mean to me in the future. I call him out on absolutely anything he says "wrong." And trust me, guys- he is WONDERFUl\L. Just an absolutely amazing guy. And I am good to him- I surprise him & do nice things, i'm not completely horrible. I have tried talking to him about this, but I still continue to put him through these constant "tests." Last night I was upset because he left my house before 10, and I seriously contemplated breaking up with him for the rest of the night. I thought that he was acting like an old man. (he's 25. I'm 23.) I told him one day when I was mean to him that we should maybe take a break because he didn't deserve to be treated badly because he was so wonderful. He said he knew i had been through a lot, and that he wants to help me any way he can. He said that he would much rather help me, and deal with the occasional tantrum then not have me in his life... He is a saint. I would just really appreciate any advice, because I feel like such a weirdo. I think I am just trying to get this relationship to how my horrible old one was, because that is all i know. (My parents have a bad relationship, my father and i have a bad one, and my first boyfriend was awful.) I am just so sick of feeling like this though!! I feel like a picky, spoiled brat!! Please give me some feedback!!!