I have a problem that has been going on for years. My sister married my husband's brother about 4 years ago - then they ended up getting divorced after 2.5 years of marriage. They had a daughter out of the relationship. He was an alcoholic and they had a terrible relationship - it was a mistake from the get go. Now, they are divorced and my husband hates my sister with a passion because when they got divorced, she got the house and his brother didn't get anything out of it. He doesn't even want to be around her and he badmouths her whenever he gets a chance. My sister isn't perfect by any means - she has a bad temper and has a problem with the way she talks to her son (for which she is getting counseling), but his hatred of her REALLY hurts me because I'm close to my sister. I feel especially protective of her because she has a rare disease (dermatomyositis) and I am uncertain of her future in the long run, so I value her that much more. This has caused extreme resentment and anger toward my husband on my part - he has said he will stop badmouthing her in front of me but his feelings will never change. He has also said some things about other members of my family. We are going to move out of state in the future and he doesn't want to live near any of them (for the record, the rest of my family love my husband). This is making me SO depressed. I wish he would just forgive my sister and let us get on with our lives. She is in a new relationship now and he wants nothign to do with either my sister or her new boyfriend - if they are at my parents' house, he doesn't want to be there. I love my husband a lot, but I'm wondering what our future holds as I'm close to my family and his feelings, though I know I can't change then, are making me extremely resentful and feel colder toward him. I am so depressed and feel helpless. I don't know what to do. I don't want a divorce, but I just want peace and harmony in the family. Am I being unrealistic about this?
