jazz_lover

Think at this point taking a step back and waiting a week or so to see if she suggests meeting again might be a good idea. I wasn’t feeling it as much as last few times although maybe motion sickness and cheap supermarket wine (which I let her choose) was a factor

Bit of a disaster date. Weather was almost good enough for a picnic with a bit of sun so we went for it. We went to a supermarket she suggested some antipasti and then insisted on a bottle of wine. I started queuing up at the till and she disappeared saying she wanted to get strawberries too and by the time she returned I was at the checkout and about to pay so she added the strawberries and I paid. We had a nice conversation over picnic people and dog watching a bit and she was talking about Brazil and how London was much safer and guys were more respectful. As we heard to the art she said I forgot to ask you when was your last serious relationship. I said pre pandemic and asked her when was hers she said a few years ago. I asked for how long and she said a few months which was a bit confusing. She also mentioned a guy last year she dated but ended it because he wasn’t looking for a serious relationship. The art was interesting but all the motion and visual effects made me very dizzy and nauseous. we went to the gift shop she bought herself a few souvenirs and surprised me with a paper bookmark as she knows I like to read which I guess was a nice gesture. She suggested motion sickness medication and took me to a pharmacy and found some for me so paid for that too and think I got ripped off because $20 for an otc medication seemed excessive. She then asked if I was taking subway or bus home. I said subway she said she was taking the bus and hoped I’d feel better soon. The wine followed by 3d type effects was a bad combination and I’m feeling pretty nauseous. But didn’t feel like a good date

I said the dates weren't expensive because boltnrun said to go easy on the expensive dates. But I wouldn't say they were inexpensive either. First date was around $60 for a coffee and 2 rounds of drinks. Second date was around $120 as jazz tickets aren't cheap and because they have captive customers they charge a bit more for the drinks. So I wanted to balance out with a more modest third date so she didn't think it would be the high life every date and the art tickets were around $60 and it isn't really picnic weather so we will do coffee and if she doesn't have plans in the evening I might take her to an inexpensive but good restaurant. Paying for everything is relatively uncharted territory and even though I am a good salary as an accountant rents in London are crazy and taxes are high and the price of everything has rocketed in price since the pandemic especially in the service sector (restaurants, theatre, live music, cinema, hotels etc) and if things do work out I want it to be sustainable. And I also want to know that she is equally happy doing simple things with me because while I do enjoy nice restaurants, jazz clubs, theatre, holidays and so on I also like simple pleasures like a walk in the park, a quiet night in watching old movies, cooking together at home, a picnic in the park and so on. As for the texting thing she has started to text a little more since her work conference finished and has been a little more open to non-logistical/planning chit chat e.g. I sent her a photo of a rainbow I saw last afternoon and a few hours later she sent me a photo she'd taken of the moon set to a background of a midnight blue sky and said how much she loved natural beauty. I mentioned I also loved watching the sun set and she sent me a photo of a sunset she saw in Brazil overlooking the sea. I then mentioned a sunset I saw in Sicily where I saw the sea swallow up the sun and she must have been out with friends or something as she read it around 10pm and hasn't replied yet but that's understandable.

Plan for Saturday is confirmed. It seems like there will be a bit of sunshine so I suggested we enjoy a walk in the park before the immersive art. She suggested doing a picnic. I said that was a great idea and there was a deli nearby we could pick up some stuff. She said she would bring her picnic blanket. And in general she's been quite a bit chattier over the last few days by text. So I think perhaps she was just very stressed and pre-occupied with the conference she was preparing for which was on Wednesday and Thursday and with that off her mind she will try to stay a bit more connected between dates especially if tomorrow goes well. But I have been impressed at her enthusiasm getting involved planning this date. I gave her a few options for the art exhibition and she gave me a thoughtful response weighing up each option while saying they were all great choices and asked which I thought was best and agreeing with me and she contributed the picnic idea which will work great as it means we can enjoy some food together without needing to go to an expensive restaurant and means we can again spend four or five hours together. Of course a picnic is very ambitious for this time of year and forecast could always deteriorate so I probably need a plan B for before the art if it isn't as warm/sunny as projected and the art is booked for 5pm so no possibility to go earlier. But I will keep my fingers crossed.

I wouldn't really say the MO is that specific. I like jazz clubs so I often date girls who also like jazz. I pay for the tickets. And most of the girls I date will then split the bill for drinks we enjoy during the performance or in some cases even insist on paying because I bought the tickets. On the first or second date I might do drinks. Because post pandemic cafes all close around 5pm so if I am meeting a girl after work it is the only option. I would buy the first round. And if the girl is enjoying herself she will invariably offer to buy the next round of her own accord. And for health reasons I stop at one or two drinks which keeps the cost down. As for picking the venues while sometimes women invite me on dates it tends to be rare and only when they are super keen and want from the word go to see more than once a week. Most usually wait until I invite them out next. And most of my female friends complain about guys without a plan who always ask them what they want to do. Often I will give options though to involve my date in the date planning and sometimes we will discuss future date ideas on dates which helps with planning. She's been in the UK since 2019 when she came over to do her masters. So not that recent. As for the foreigner thing it is not by design. London is a cosmopolitan city. I would say it is fair to say that I have limited experience with girls who expect the man to pay for everything. So I am trying to give her a chance to show she isn't like the other one and seeing if she will start to contribute in a small way like Batya suggested she could. And I am going to try to do a better job at managing expectations by not taking her to fancy restaurants or theatre etc.

Oh yeah I am not going to end up being led down the expensive presents/holidays/restaurants/theatre tickets route. Jazz and art is moderately but not insanely expensive in London. Jazz tickets and art gallery tickets are generally around $30 each. To put that into context you'd easily pay that for an entirely forgettable dinner and glass of wine at a chain restaurant. And I have been careful about not providing entertainment AND dinner. But when we have mutual interests in jazz and art it seemed good to take advantage of that fact as if she is in the habit of letting guys pay I am sure she has been taken to her fair share of fancy dinners and rooftop bars and I do not want to go down that route. When I do eventually take her for dinner I will choose somewhere highly rated for its food/atmosphere but inexpensive. Luckily such places do exist in London. You pay much the same as you would in an inexpensive chain restaurant. But the food and/or experience is better. And if it means that part of the reason she likes me is because I know where to find good jazz/art/food in London I am OK with that because that is part of who I am and how I like to spend my free time. I also like to travel and occasionally I do like an expensive restaurant if the quality of the food is very high. But they are luxuries for me when I am paying just for myself and not within my budget if I'm paying for two. So unless it is a birthday or something I would perhaps say something like: "I'd love to take you to Paris for the weekend and happy to pay for the Eurostar tickets but would you be able to contribute towards the hotel as paying for both would stretch my budget a little too far and I want us to stay somewhere nice together where you'd feel comfortable rather than a budget hotel".

Yeah I think I will wait a few dates and see if she does anything like the kind of things Batya suggested that indicate while she likes the man to pay she doesn't take it for granted and wants to contribute a little. If she doesn't then perhaps a conversation might be required. I sent her a few options for the art exhibition and she sent me an enthusiastic reply saying positive things about my choices and asking which one I liked the look of best. I think I'll plump for the immersive art exhibition as it doesn't sound like she's been to that kind of thing whereas she's been to plenty of traditional galleries and it engages more of the senses and is more of an interactive experience.

I'll still need to buy tickets to the exhibition but it would be modest in expense while still being classy and appealing to us both. And agree that if she doesn't have plans later in the evening we can spontaneously have an early dinner or something. I schedule all the dates and initiate all the texts. But I quickly figured out she wasn't much of a texter so I have limited texts to arranging the next date. I am OK with that given we've only had a few dates and she's told me she is very busy with work at the moment as her company is arranging a conference this week. And so far I am just inviting her out at weekends. Hopefully over time she will be a bit chattier over text and suggest doing something during the week if she can't wait until the weekend to see me. I guess it is worth having a conversation at some point if it is clear she does expect me to pay 100% of the time. I'd like a girlfriend that I can go on holidays with, the occasional nice restaurant or theatre and lots of jazz and who knows maybe one day even live together. But I don't think I would be able to afford all that if I was paying 100% of everything. But it seems premature as right now we are still getting to know each other.

Asked her out this Saturday afternoon suggesting an art gallery. After the usual 18 hour response time she accepted with some enthusiasm "I am free Saturday. The art gallery idea sounds really nice :)" It will perhaps be $20 for 2 tickets and then maybe $10 for coffee or something in the cafe. Sadly the weather isn't warm enough to do a picnic in the park or a botanical gardens or so on. So this is about the cheapest date I can think of that would still be enjoyable for us both and keep us entertained for an afternoon. And for me dating is about creating memories and enjoying experiences together. So while I would be paying for everything and providing some entertainment I would also be entertaining myself and doing things I would want to do anyway but would find more enjoyable with her company. And so far she hasn't put any pressure on me and is going along with all my date ideas. It would be a different matter if she was asking me to take her to fancy restaurants or drinking like a fish knowing the drinks were on me. First date was a coffee date and she accepted that. There are plenty of girls in London who'd refuse a coffee date. In fact I've had girls tell me that I needed to take them out for dinner on the first date (with the obvious implication I'd be paying for it). And the Turkish girl I dated a year ago and mentioned on this site used to starve herself all day and then order half the menu having already told me early on that if I wanted more than friendship I'd have to be the one paying.

Yeah she isn't demanding to go to expensive restaurants and she doesn't seem to be a heavy drinker. First date we just went to a cafe and an inexpensive wine bar. Second date the jazz club was obviously a bit of a treat but we met at the venue so I didn't buy her dinner beforehand and she only ordered one drink and afterwards she was happy going to a late night cafe. Third date I will do something inexpensive during the day as suggested. And when I eventually get around to taking her out for dinner I will pick a hidden gem that is inexpensive but still good food rather than an instagram restaurant where people just go to be seen and take photos. She's several years younger than me and just started her career and London is expensive so I wouldn't expect her to go 50:50.

Conversation flows easily enough. Off the top of my head we've talked about shared interests such as jazz, art, old movies etc. She told me about her experience growing up on a farm and how much she loved gazing up at the stars. She told me about her brother's smoking habit and his doctor girlfriend. How much her grandmother loves Latin jazz. Her memories of her grandfather's rose garden. Her experience living in France for a year. How rude French people can be. She told me what some of the lyrics meant as she speaks Spanish and I don't. I told her a bit about Cuba as the jazz gig was afro-Cuban jazz. I told her a bit about my mum and how she's on the dating apps and always seems to be dating multiple guys at a time. She said my mum sounded like a pro and doesn't know how people date multiple people and how she just likes to focus on one guy. Spas and relaxation. Her plans to do four hours of yoga with a friend the next day. I told her a bit about my baby niece and showed her some photos. We commented about the way the background music at the cafe we went to bounced between 60s and 80s music. We sang along to songs we both recognised. And lots of other things.

T/WM: agree that I have to make allowances for the cultural differences. As I understand in those cultures things are more traditional and closer to courting than modern dating so there is more onus on the man to pay/show interest/chase. I do have foreign friends of both sexes and they often say dating confuses them as they don't really have the concept back home as you'd meet through friends/social circle. So will try to be sympathetic to that and give her the benefit of the doubt and make allowances. I think being direct at this point might come across as confrontational and I think the suggestions made by other posters have eased my concerns on the various points I mentioned: I think planning a simple and inexpensive next date is a good approach to move things forward. And if she doesn't ask much in the way of questions I can use the suggestion of asking if there is anything she'd like to know about me to encourage her to ask me a bit more about myself. And as for the texting I agree it is not really a big deal so long as she makes time to date me and we have a good time on dates. As Batya points out we do seem to have some interests in common. As well as jazz we are both into art and old movies and love nature. And I guess we must have some mutual physical attraction as she's been pretty tactile and kissed me passionately. So it seems quite promising so far.

I like that she talks a lot so that isn't a problem at all for me as I am on the quieter side and I am a good listener. So it is less to do with me wanting to talk more but rather I just want to make sure she has a bit of curiosity about me as a person and what makes me tick. But maybe that will come later on. She's Brazilian and only been in the UK a few years so maybe she's just used to a more traditional construct of dating and doesn't know the dating etiquette here. Agree it feels like she could make a little more effort texting. Perhaps the way to go is to wait until midweek to text her to schedule the next date.

She finally got back to me replying "Sorry just saw your message". She sent me a few videos from the jazz. I waited a few hours and texted back saying "Thanks for the videos. Brought back nice memories". She texted an hour later saying "I had a great time" followed by a shy smile emoticon and shortly after sent me a YouTube video saying "btw this is the Brazilian bossa nova singer i told you about". Over the next hour or so we exchanged a few bossa nova videos complimenting each other on our choices before she presumably fell asleep or something. She also did mention a few times already that she is shy. It is hard to believe. But I know shyness manifests in different ways. So perhaps that is a factor. I guess she isn't much of a texter and probably distracted by work/friends/hobbies etc. Which is fine so I should just use texts to arrange dates. Will definitely do something simple and inexpensive next date to mix it up a bit and make sure she is equally happy and affectionate when I'm not splashing the cash on drinks/entertainment etc.

As for financials she lives in a posh/exclusive part of London and is fashionably dressed and after the jazz we went to a late night ccafe and she could haev perhaps offered to split for that.

We've had a lot of conversation. First date we went to a cafe and a quiet wine bar and talked for about 5 hours. Second date after the jazz we went to the late night cafe and talked for a few hours. I'm not one to overshare or talk about negatives during dating so I don't think that is a factor. She told me quite a bit about herself and I asked follow up questions. For example she mentioned she grew up on a farm and her grandfather had a rose garden so she's always been fond of roses and she was talking about the different branches of her family and her experience living in Paris. So it wasn't as if she was keeping thiings shallow and superficial on her side. But when I mentioned things about myself she didn't ask follow up questions or try to find out more about me. The dates weren't super expensive considering the length of time we spend together. First date was just coffee and a few glasses of wine. Second date she only had one drink during the show and was happy with peppermint tea at the cafe we went to. I'll do something during the day next date e.g. art gallery or something to mix things up. But she doesn't seem super high maintenance and I took her to jazz because we both love music and I wanted to see the show myself. Texting I have some sympathy about because a lot of girls go the other extreme and after just a date and texting you all the time. And I guess it is early days and when we have had a few more dates maybe she will be more interested in trying to stay connected between dates and initiate conversations etc.... Like I said I consider these yellow flags so not running for the hills yet. Just seems a little strange as most girls even if not interested will ask polite questions during a date and even if their replies are all business reply relatively promptly not after like 12 hours. And even girls who have no intention of paying will at some point at least make a half hearted attempt to split at least one of the bills or offer to pay for something simple like a coffee down the line.

I've had a few dates with this girl. She's quite affectionate. First date was coffee and within an hour we were already holding hands and after coffee I suggested we went for some drinks so we ended up spending five hours together and we kissed at the end of the date. Second date we went to a jazz club and she took my hand and held it the entire show only breaking to clap between songs and cosied up to me and then after the jazz we went to a late night cafe and she stayed with me talking until she was barely managing to keep her eyes open. When we got up to go I gave her a kiss and she kissed me back passionately with tongue! But there are a few things that give me a bit of pause for thought The first is that we've been on a few dates now and she hasn't once offered to split the bill or pay for a round of drinks. The jazz was quite pricey so it would have been a nice gesture if she had offered to pay for the drinks we had at the jazz club or at least offered to split the drinks bill or even offered to pay for the mint tea we had afterwards. The second is she never asks me any personal questions. The only one I recall was at some point on the first date she asked me what I was looking for. So we talked a bit about that and found out we were on the same page and she said she wanted to settle down within the next five years. Conversation flows smoothly with us and we spent hours talking on the first date and after the jazz we sat for a few hours at the cafe talking and I have told her various things about myself in conversation but I feel I know much more about her than she knows about me. The third is that she is pretty uncommunicative between dates. Our first date was Saturday and afterwards I said I had a lovely evening with her and she replied"Me too". Then Monday I texted her wishing her luck with her busy work week (she'd mentioned she had a presentation) and she didn't reply until midnight again with a one/two word answer. I figured she wasn't much of a texter so waited a few more days and asked her out to the jazz and she accepted and heard nothing from her until the day of the jazz when she asked what time we were meeting. After the jazz she texted me to say she got home safe (I asked her to do so) and I said "I'm glad and when she finds the time would be great if she could send me a few of the videos of the jazz so I could show my mum as I was visiting her today for mothers day (she'd recorded a few videos of the jazz) and mid afternoon still nothing from her. Maybe I am overthinking and there is nothing to worry about and this is just her style and she will be a bit more communicative in future and maybe offer to contribute a bit more on dates and try to find out more about me. But should I be concerned? I do not want to be with someone who just wants to be entertained and has no real interest in me and is stroking me with a bit of affection here and there to keep me keen which is how one of my female friends is interpreting this

Thanks for the insightful responses. Will look into the forensic accountancy option which would be a more achievable pivot. Not convinced I will be able to do anything with the finance during the summers. But probably would be ways to earn some extra money to supplement a teaching income. As for the dating it makes sense that most women would not contemplate dating a man who earns less than them and a lot of the women earning low incomes would ideally like a relationship with a higher earner. It is an economic society. And especially in a city like London raising a family is very expensive and I think at my age women do have that at the back of their mind whereas women in their 20s are probably a lot more about looks and a guy being cool and fun and so on. Also I know that a lot of the dating options in London are illusory. There are a lot of serial daters out there and I think a lot of people treat dating as a pastime/a way to let off steam and aren't seriously looking for a relationship or have become impossibly picky because there is the illusion of choice with millions of options. Also very common for people to keep their options open and date multiple people because it is so easy to do so. So perhaps if I do decide to teaching I will have to reconcile with the idea of moving outside London. My dating optiions will be more limited but there won't be as much competition and possible to find women with a more moderate lifestyle similar to the one I will have to adopt and the women I do meet will perhaps be more relationship focused. Anyway food for thought.

I live in London which is a very expensive city. Like a lot of people I work in finance which I find quite dull and unfulfilling and it is very competitive so despite my best efforts I have been unable to get into any of the "sexier" areas and in my mid 30s it probably is not going to happen for me at least not without doing an expensive MBA which I am not sure I want to do and the "sexier" areas come with even longer hours and more stress. And I am feeling burnt out and always seem to feel stressed and unhappy which probably contributes to the mild depression and anxiety and insomnia I have had most of my adult life. So I feel like I really need to change my life. I want to eventually find the right woman. But even women who are not that high maintenance or materialistic seem to prefer a man who earns a good salary and is ideally is a homeowner and because the kind of educated cultured women I am attracted to tend to have good careers and have good salaries they tend to expect the same from their men and have the usual expensive city tastes such as eating out, theatre, drinking, luxury travel and so on. So even if they pay their own way it is still expensive to keep up. At the same time though I am a bit bored of these temporary pleasures. Eating out all the time and drinking a lot isn't ideal for one's health and are easy to take for granted. Holidays are great but the time flies by and then they are over. And I kinda feel with the right person simple things would be enough. And unfortunately I have an attachment to London. Maybe I could move elsewhere if I got married and settled down. But I have spent my entire life here and I think it would be difficult to be single in a much smaller city at my age. I am thinking in the near future of switching to teaching which is more of a vocation and offers a better work/life balance. It would also give me some flexibility in the future to consider living outside of London if I were to settle down. And perhaps with the long holidays I would be able to escape somewhere with a slower pace of life. But it would result in a massive reduction in my salary and I am worried about the impact on my dating prospects. And because I have grown up with a comfortable lifestyle I was able to maintain in my 20s and 30s with my career I do not know how I would handle the step down in my lifestyle. And I might just end up trading work-related stress for money worries especially with high inflation. And of course long holidays are no use if you do not have enough money to go anywhere. I have spoken a bit about this to my mum and she says "Oh everyone is in the same boat and it will make more sense when you buy a flat, get married, start a family etc" but I do not know if I believe her. And I remember my father who came home after long days tired and irritable and would just crash and only really seemed happy on holiday which is only a few weeks of the year!

Yeah I don't think we are capable of a "don't ask, don't tell" policy and neither of us seems interested in exclusivity so probably better to just agree to try to pick things up again end of the summer. She is still away for another month and I am worried that all this jealousy building up will ruin things. What is the best way to bring this up with her without making her feel upset or rejected?

Yeah it should be pretty straightforward....we are obviously casually dating and because of the distance we are going to be meeting other people over the summer as we aren't exclusive. But she got jealous again midweek. She sent me some meme about the UK heatwave around 9pm. I didn't reply until the next morning sending her a funny video of Camila Cabello a singer we both like dancing in her sickbed with coronavirus. We joked a bit about that and then she said "First time I texted you at night and you didn't reply...." I said "Sorry I was busy with friends and by the time I read it I realized it was past midnight your time so figured it could wait until the morning". She said "Glad you had a fun night!" "Sorry for the bad timing next time i will check the time to be sure not to disturb". Then later on she sent me some holiday photos from the island she was visiting and a photo of an unpronounceable greek dessert. I tried saying it via a voice message making her laugh and she sent a voice message with the correct pronounciation. I said "I love when you speak greek" she sent another voice message in greek. I asked what it meant and she said "What language was the girl from last night speaking?". I said "The only foreign language I am interested in is Greek". And she said "You do know that doesn't answer my question?" And "If you keep making me jealous I will stop texting you!". I said "You are imagining all these women and besides you have 900+ men in Athens". She said "I don't imagine I ask questions and you avoid replying". I said "I think all this texting is making things complicated lets have a video call later. We did that and she looked happy to see me and we flirted a bit and everything seemed fine after that. But the next day she started sexting me a bit and apologies for the explicitness but at some point I said something like "I'm remembering how tight you are..." and she said "I hope I won't disappoint you..." and I said "You never disappoint me" and she said "It is a bit hard not to disappoint you these days" and I said "What do you mean?" and she said "I wouldn't like to talk about it. I like you" I changed the topic and she started chatting about some article she read in Greek Cosmo or something and it petered out after a bit. But her comments confused and upset me. My interpretation from the context was she wants to sleep with other men. Well it is none of my business but I don't see why she had to rub it in my face by making that comment when we were just sexting and having fun and when she said she doesn't want to talk about if of course I assumed the worse. I do not understand why it is getting complicated. In London we would flirt or sext a bit by text during the week or make each other laugh and then date and sleep together at the weekend. But she is getting jealous and making me jealous too with cryptic comments and talk of how popular she is in her country. Is it better to simply say that I don't want all this texting and misunderstandings to ruin things and shall we take a break and pick things up again in London when she is back? But my worry is she would take that as rejection and go cold on me and not want to see me again. She is very sensitive.

Batya I appreciate referring to women as girls is a pet hate of yours as you have commented on threads by other posters but feel it is a little unkind to react by making some amateur psycho sexual analysis over what is really semantics. I thought this forum was a supportive environment so shared on another thread some insecurities i have over my sexual performance and I feel you are using those insecurities to attack me because of a choice of wording you disliked. Usually I find your advice sage and helpful and liked the comments you made about commitment phobia as I also agree that high interest level tends to overcome fears and doubts and maybe will be the case with this scenario assuming things progress when she gets back from Greece. Also agree people use it as a disclaimer but maybe it’s because she has a track record of running away from guys that try to pressure her into a relationship and it would be different with someone she likes enough to want to commit to.

Yeah I guess I'm overanalyzing. It is a positive she is making an effort to stay in touch even when she is busy having fun on holiday and I will find out where I stand when she returns in a month or so. I don't think the ED alone is a deal breaker as it is only a very occasional issue and I haven't had it with this girl because when we are together in bed she makes me feel comfortable and I do not feel she is judging me. It was more of an issue with the other girl especially towards the end when things were heading south and even the way I breathed started to annoy her! And in general I think this girl is so much nicer and far more interested. But obviously early days and she is on holiday and out of sight out of mind and plenty of distractions and she's going to meet other people so not pinning all my hopes on her especially when she says she has commitment phobia. But I am hoping that when she returns from Greece we can continue dating and things will be a lot easier and less confusing when we see each other regularly again and get to know each other through spending time face to face and enjoying fun activities together.

I have had a full physical workup and no issues were identified. Testosterone actually well above normal and heart health absolutely fine. I think I do have a low stress threshold and have always been a bad sleeper so will see if I can work on this through lifestyle changes. Exercise is also meant to be helpful. ED is probably easier to manage given there is a situational/psychological component and actually it has been a lot better with my latest squeeze as she makes me feel wanted and makes me feel comfortable with her. So this post is predominately about my low sex drive in the sense I only want it once a night perhaps twice a week and not on consecutive nights and I am worried that would not satisfy most women who especially in the early stages of a relationship would expect it more regularly. Agree that it is in part a compatibility issue and it will be less of an issue for some women than others and perhaps reflects my tendency to date immature and insecure women. Although that is a difficult thing to screen for especially as it would be better to find out before you get emotionally and sexually involved. Definitely wouldn't be compatible with someone who wants it every day and multiple times a night. But refreshing to hear that there are many women out there who want it a lot less than that. Also would be curious to know what is normal for a man in his mid 30s.

Yeah will try to cut back the texting. She’s mostly just sending holiday photos. She sent me a photo of a birthday card with penguins spelling happy birthday saying happy early birthday. I couldn’t help being impressed as a week before she went on holiday we went to the zoo and I mentioned penguins are my favourite and also my birthday is in a month and I think I only told her my birthday once quite shortly after we first met and I can’t even remember hers. Maybe its just a ploy to keep me on the hook so I’m still an option for her when she’s back and left the adonises behind but it is awfully sweet