Hi thekid55,
I just spent a couple hours out of my day reading your entire journal after seeing it in another thread about reconciling with an ex. It was extremely invaluable, you're the type of man I hope to grow into one day.
For context, I'm a 20 year old junior in university, trying to break into the SWE industry. My ex broke up with me after a 2.5 year relationship, it sucks because I thought they were the love of my life. I've been trying to be more introspective, and an overall more conscientious person. I used to blame a majority of the breakup on COVID-19 however I realized that there were many issues with me that contributed to my part of the downfall of the relationship.
I had essentially abandoned her, I was no longer making her feel special, or pretty, or wanted, or listened to. I spent all my time day-trading, playing video games, and watching anime. It sucks, I truly felt like she was someone I'd want to experience a lot of my life with! We've been broken up since end of Feb, we've been strict NC for the past 3 weeks, and I've been doing fine, however it sucks that I have to live my life without my best friend. I've been doing a lot of growing up, and have come to some incredible conclusions about myself, and realizing there is a huge discrepancy between who I am and who I want to be.
I just wanted to thank you for what you've written here, it has been amazing to witness your development in the past decade, and hope that I can follow a similar journey. Hoping you're well and hoping that life is treating you kindly.
Sorry for de-railing your journal thread, take care!
