jonb22

A couple of months ago i stumbled accross this great forum and posted a message I had some great advice and developed a new outlook on my situation. Now two months later everything has changed massively. After thinking for a long time that my Ex GF really hated me and would never speak to me again (please see link above for the whole story!!) I was proved completely wrong! I was driving down the road last week when I saw her, walking up the road - I couldn't believe it - the first time in four years she was there in front of me. I stopped my car next to her and said hello. I was thinking to myself she was either going to shout and tell me to get lost or she would be civil to me....... Her reaction astounded me. She wasn't abusive, she wasn't angry, she wasn't even just civil - she was really friendly!! I couldn't believe it! I got out of my car and stood on the side of the road speaking to her for about 30 mins -- it was not something I had expected. We were laughing and joking and talking about the old times and she seemed really interested in what I was up to and knew some pretty important things that had recently happened to me. I said to her, that it had been a while since I had seen her last (the day we split up) - and her reply was, "yes, four years on the 15th April" -- she couldn't have been more precise!! I apologised for my behaviour after we split up and said I was sorry and that I had made a mistake for leaving her. She said she forgave me for what happened and it was all in the past. She said she had grown up and I had nothing to apologise for! Not the response I was expecting. She then mentioned that a month before hand, she finished with her boyfriend (the bloke she went out with after me). I couldn't believe it, both of us were single! I suggested we went out for a drink to catch up on the past and go out and have a laugh. She agreed and said it would be nice, then we swapped mobile numbers and she said she would call me and sort something out. I drove off from that feeling the happiest man in the world. I didn't think life could get much better! Next day I went shopping with my son (a child I have had since we broke up) and ended up in a shop that I wouldn't normally go in. Guess who was in there doing her shopping --- my Ex GF!!! I hadn't seen her in four years and now I see her twice in two days! We spent another 30 mins or so talking in the shop and walked back to the car pack together; where I said we should definetely go out for a drink - and she again agreed and said she would call. Now, from your honest opinion - should I be optimistic? Should I expect her to actually phone me up and arrange to go out for a drink? It just seems really weird, that for no real reason we end up meeting twice in two days (meeting in places I wouldn't normally go to). I had thought about her a lot recently and hoped that one day I could meet her again -- now this happens.......... is it fate? If she does'nt phone me within a few days - should I take the initiative and phone her? (she did give me her number) Or should I leave it? I would really appreciate any advice anyone has as I don't want to blow this one!!! Cheers Jon

I appreciate what you guys have said. It makes a bit more sense to me now. I don't think I really wanna get back with her - i just want to know how best I can approach her to make up for the troubles in the past. Getting back with her would be amazing; but only time would tell if that would work - we are both very different people now. I think by being able to talk to her again and sort out the past I will be able to get over a lot of things. I think I realise now how I hurt her and I think I owe it to her to try and make up for it. I don't expect her to trust me again or want a relationship - but i think I must try to put the past right. What do you think? How can I best approach her though? Letter, flowers, through a friend or the ultimate face to face (something she can't ignore)?

Hi Everyone, About 4 years ago I made the biggest mistake of my life. I finished with my girlfriend of two years for no real reason. I was young, I wanted to go off and do my own thing and experience things etc etc. thereforeeeeeee I made a descision that by finishing with my girlfriend who i loved very much i would be able to live a little and have some fun. BIG Mistake. Within about a week of being single I regretted breaking up with her and realised that if i wanted to do all those things then I could do them with her. I loved her and I realised i didn't want to be without her. I phoned her up but within that week she had started seeing someone else!!! I couldn't believe it, we had only been single for a week and already she had moved on!! I was gutted; I could'nt believe she had done that to me. We argued, said things we didn't mean. The next day I got togeter all her stuff; things she'd given me, pictures we had, letters she'd written me and put them all in a big envelope with a letter attached. The letter basically explained how I was feeling and how I now thought that becuase she had moved on so quickly, she was either seeing this guy behind my back or she was able to move on so quickly as prehaps she never really loved me. I was'nt nasty, just put my feelings accross very cleary. I took this envelope into her work, put it on her desk and walked out. Never heard anymore from her. Four years later, I am still thinking about her and don't know what to do. Over the last four years I have tried to contact her on three occasions, just to say hello, apologise for everything that was said and to see if we could be friends again. I wrote her a lengthy friendly letter which I sent to her asking her to give me a call etc - never received a reply. I sent her a bunch of flowers apologising - never received a reply. I stupidly tried phoning her at work one day - she hung up on me by the time I had finished saying hello! I still do not know why she hates me so much. By rejecting me everytime it has just made me more determined to speak to her and find out what I have done that has made her so mad at me. We went through a lot together and she was my first love - i still think about her now, so she obviously means a lot to me - hence why I think it is important that we can become friends again - she was a very influential factor in my life. Last week, I had the best news in my life - I found out that the bloke she went out with after me had finally split up with her after nearly four years. She was single again!! Now this is where the problem comes in. Do i try and speak / contact her now she is single again or not? Did she blank me before becuase she was with her new boyfriend; now she is single will she speak to me again? I can imagine it would be difficult to speak to her ex when she is with someone? Or does she genuinely hate me and want nothing to do with me? I want your advice on what I should do. Should I make a real effort to approach her after all this time and explain that I would like to know why she blanked me for so long and what I did to upset her? Or should I stay well away and forget it? Should I visit her in person, send her some flowers or write a letter (the last two I have done before - but will they be effective now) or should I get a friend to go round and speak to her and see how the land lies? I would really appreciate some advice on this as it is really driving me mad at the moment. I don't necessarily want to get back with her, but I desperately want to find out what I did wrong and try and put it right so that we can become friends once again. I would appreciate your comments. Thankyou