Earth flower

Wow, I have been so busy and haven't had time to reply but I just wanted to thank you all for the responses and kind and sometimes harsh word. I really appreciate it, it has helped me to gain perspective on the situation. It has been such a weird situation to be in especially accross such a long distance and especially after just two meetings with this man. It lies in such a grey area. Nevertheless there is only one thing we can do and that is just see where it goes. I have felt some clarity over this matter recently because I am trying to be a little more logical and less emotional. I don't think I will ever be able to forget about the pain that I may have indirectly caused a woman, a mother because I know if the shoe were on the other foot I would be absolutley devastated. I have addressed this with my, lets just call him, Dutchman and he has made it very clear to me that he would never want to go through the pain and trauma of a situation like this ever again and that it was a life decision he had to make for his own happiness. I have also voiced my concern over the fact that I don't do things half heartedly and if he and I ever had to hit a glitch in the future you don't just do a runner into the arms of another. I think owing to our personalities we will be able to compromise and be honest with one another. The way my Dutchman describes his marriage is as very uncompromising, he felt dominated and as though he had lost himself. He said his self esteem suffered immensely. Its amazing the ripple effect that an event can have and all the little situations that arise and spin off from it. I certainly believe in karma and just hope the mine will only return 2 fold instead of 3 because I want to make him happy which he wants too and that can't be all bad. Apparently his wife is getting better everyday, it seems she is coming to grips with the situation too. Anyway I will keep you guys updated and just wanted to say thank you.

I fully understand the implications of my actions I am not asking for sympathy or looking to justify my actions or seek acceptance from someone out there. I have explained the situation and where we are at, I can't go back and change things now and would have liked some advice for the future - the where to from here.

Hi Well, let me tell my tale. I find myself in quite an unusual sitution, one that I would never have thought I would land up in. I consider myself a very together person, vibrant, outgoing and intelligent so I never dreamed I would be caught up in something that you only read about or see in movies. So without further ado (get ready and please don't be put off by the length of the story I can't help it)...... I was due to fly over to see friends in London and my flight was delayed and then cancelled. During all of the chaos myself and a gentleman by the name of Stephan ended up chatting while waiting for buses to load all of the passengers up and take us to hotels for the night. We chatted for a while and sat next to one another on the bus so when we arrived at the hotel and had to share a suite due to lack of space I wasn't too preturbed, he seemed nice enough, afterall we would have separate bedrooms. Anyway things werent awkward at all and we ended up having a cup of tea and a chat until all hours of the morning. He seemed lovely. On waking after very little sleep we had breakfast together, I noticed he had a wedding ring on and we spoke about our families (he has two young sons) and our lives. He is from Holland. My family came to collect me and dragged him along too so we could go back to the airport to sort ourselves out as far as the flight we were supposed to be booked on. Nevertheless, we ended up spending the whole day together in queues and biding our time in coffee shops. We really gelled and actually had a good time. We tried to get seats together on the flight but couldn't and ended up standing in the gulley chatting most of the time, literally joined at the hip. After landing in Holland I had to catch a connecting flight to London and saying goodbye was so emotional. We never said a word to one another and ended up in one anothers arms crying. I have never experienced such intense emotion for another. While away on holiday with my friends we were in contact quite often over the phone, on email and sms. Things about his marriage started to become evident, he was not happy. I took it with a pinch of salt because at this stage he was still essentially a stranger and could tell me anything. Anyway we decided that on my return flight via Holland he would come through and have coffee with me before I left for home. As it turned out this was not possible as my stop over time was too short. We were disapponted but hell bent on actually seeing one another again to see if what we were feeling was real (I can't explain the feeling just simply a connection and not highly sexual although I did find him attractive). I arranged to stay over night even though I knew he would only be able to spend some time with me in the morning and then get back to work and his family. I intended to book into a hotel close to the airport and then fly out the next morning. Well, and this is where things start to change dramatically so I am going to head straight into it. He called to say he had taken the day off and had booked us into a hotel overnight and that he had been honest with his wife and told her what he was doing so. I was absolutely furious at first, he explained that if I decided that I was uncomfortable in anyway I could tell him and he would leave me and go home. I decided to take the chance, I am very strong willed and rarely get myself into awkward situations. I trust my judgement and so went along with it. Anyway, we had a beautiful day, we spent the whole day chatting in open air cafe`s and getting to know one another. That connection never faded once and I decided that we could spend the night together although nothing actually happened we did connect physically too. So, just to shorten things up a bit. I flew home, he went home and things came to a head between him and his wife. He has subsequently moved out although he still runs errands for the house and looks after the children. We have been in constant contact (once or twice a day) and he has booked a flight out to see me in six weeks. He has handled the situation with his wife with such integrity and has promised to support her and the children., He has spoken to both of their families and has been honest with friends so that the story is not misconstrued because although it looks like I was the catalyst in all of this the cracks in their relationship were already there. He has assured me over and over again that he is thinkingstraight and is doing this for himself, he has been unhappy for so long and needs to make a move to make himself more happy. I trust his judgement and won't bear the guilt of him having changed his life for me. This is part of my crux, although it has not been by direct implication that this has occurred I have played a role. I knew I was going to Holland to see a married man but didn't fully grasp the ramifications. Now, as much as I have come to love this man I am questioning myself for having essentially broken up a marriage in a way. I just can't imagine what his wife is going through. I would hate to be in her situation, she must feel so betrayed and hurt and angry and distrustful. I just can't imagine that could have been, in some way, a reason of so much distress and possibly having his son's perception of him altered in their minds as they grow up. Also if anything does grow from this will I ever be accepted by his sons. All this accross 12 000 km's of land. So what do you think, I love the guy and want to see where this goes I know that for sure and I know he feels the same.