Hopeless_Dude

Thanks a lot to all of you! You guys have been a major help! = D Hehehe, now I just have to wait for her to get back from one of her chem engineering exhibitions...

Thank you sexygrl19 and ayekasong so much... The encouragement really is picking me up and clearing my head. = ) Hmm... something you said just occurred to me, ayekasong. Is it possible for a woman to orgasm, but not know that she did? I mean, if a girl orgasmed for the first time, would she definetely know what just happened to her body? I know it sounds like a stupid idea... but could it be the case? Maybe she keeps expecting herself to 'ejaculate' in an orgasm and because she isn't- she doesn't think she's reaching a bona fide orgasm... Interesting... What are your views, people? Please keep posting!

I can understand where you're coming from... Soon after my most recent relationship started I gave up social drinking for good. It wasn't that I was trying too hard to please her or anything, I just managed to realize where just how right she was. Now I only drink for special times and only then, we (me and my girlfriend) drink together or not at all. I've done some regretful things before to past girlfriends and guys... thing is I remember those times everytime I bring a bottle to my lips. Possibly your boyfriend doesn't take to heart those bad experiences with the drink as you do? I know for me that the memories come back like bad dreams. I'd suggest you sit him down and tear open old wounds- remind him of what he was like before when he was drinking- about the things he did to you, etc. I thoughtthat drunkeness was great despite the costs your body has to pay- but having a girlfriend totally changed my picture. For the better.

Guys and girls, I've got a problem that's really sinking it's fangs into my head. Btw, thanks for coming! Okay, it goes like this. My girlfriend's a great girl and everything. I feel secure and perfect in every facet of our relationship, except one- the bedroom. I'm sure many guys would agree with me: this part of the relationship- the sex, is actually ranked high up there on the self-esteem and relationship list. We've only had intercourse like, what, three times, but I've managed to fail on all occasions to get her to climax (according to her). She even asked me last night: "what exactly do you mean by a girl coming? Can girls orgasm?" What she said just blew my mind off... Okay, that's the part of the story everyone has in common. Sure, 'we haven't done it enough' or 'I'm still a kid' or something like that is going to get thrown at me. Sure. I can take it. I've been reading up on these forums for a while before I actually had the frustration to make this post. Where the story gets interesting (totally unfigurable) is at this bit: One night we decided to just muck around with each other. You know- everything 'but' actual penetrative sex. We started off by making out for ages, then feeling each other up... soon, I had lost only my top so I was half naked (I wanted to keep it that way, I made up my mind I wouldn't be taking off my pants) and she was down to her underwear. I took off her bra, played around with her chest a little bit- stimulated them the best I could and, only when the signs looked right- slid a hand down to her crotch. (No oral happened that night.) She read the lines quickly and slipped off her final piece of clothing before I got there. Holy goodness, I thought to myself, I must be doing something right! Anyways, I slipped two fingers into her and played around with her. My other hand was working on her chest. My mouth was all over her neck and shoulders. Damn straight- I was multi-tasking like a machine. I actually thought I was doing alright. Throughough the masturbation, she started to reel back, pant heavily, try to clamp her legs together... I could even say I felt spasms with my fingers... was she coming, I thought, or was she just in pain? I didn't get it... I was going gently but firmly... isn't that the optimal rate? Soon after, she changed her position to lie down and then she became real dry again... I became a bit suspicious- did she just come? Soon afterwards we got dressed and she walked me out of her house- she even said she couldn't walk right because her legs felt like jell-o. I was like 'oh-kay...' Now- after that night I had the biggest ego... I'm not a boaster, but I sure felt real good about myself and I did keep my pride to myself. I felt like I actually straightened up in the sex part- that my relationship was flying perfect! Boy was I wrong... We were making out very recently and I went down to kiss her neck. That's when she said, 'you must really like kissing my neck?' I was like, 'yeah, don't you like it there?' and she replies, 'I really don't feel anything there anymore...' I said, '... what? have I desensitized your neck or something? you used to like it and now you don't?' she says, 'yeah i think you have (desensitized it). I don't know, I think I'm just a very (physically) insensitive girl...' During this very revealing dialogue she also admitted I have never once gotten her to come- she gave me the usual 'it doesn't matter, we can fix it thing' but guys, seriously, call me an insecure, stubborn jerk, but this is really important to me. I am trying hard, I'm reading all I can, but it just feels like she's teasing me or something- doesn't it? Like she doesn't wanna give me any credit... I feel like she doesn't want to tell me so I can try harder, but c'mon, tell me I'm doing great and I'll try harder anyway and I'll at least have a restored self-esteem to boot. Seriously, when we do it- she seems so into it and from the physiological signs (the spasms, the blushing), I think I'm doing 'something' right. But afterwards it's always the same indifferent look and shrug and 'good luck next time' speech. I'm getting sick of it. I'm seriously thinking of breaking up because my mind is that screwed up because of this... Guys, and girls, please save us and our relationship! 1) Do girls lie about being satisified in bed? I'm not saying I'm a sexbomb or anything, but what if I'm actually doing good, too good, and she'll think she's just stroking my pride if she tells me I'm doing great? Alternatively, I can see that she wouldn't want to tell me to encourage me to try harder... It's a smart plan, but it's tearing me up. 2) About that night we fooled around... I've read thousands of post saying that oral is usually the best way to get her there... I've never performed cunnilingus, but I'd be willing to do it if it'd definetely get her to orgasm AND to admit that she orgasmed. But- regarding the recount above... I did pretty well, didn't I? From what you could visualize- was I actually hurting her or was I doing something right? Make an arbitrary judgment here. 3) What do you mean DESENSITIZED!? Okay, I've heard of cold fish before... but damn, can this really happen? I'll often alternate between her lips and neck. I love targeting her neck because it feels great when she does it back on me... But is it TRUE!? Can I do it so much that her body actually becomes accustomed to it? She says she hasn't felt good from neck kissing for MONTHS! 4) Lastly, is the problem with me, personally? Physically- I've really, literally, trained to get into shape for the bedroom. I've done stamina work (I'm talking about the real muscles) in the gym and all that and I've tried to get my ticker fit for sustained action. I've always made sure to do a little...err... self-loving... at least TWICE before the act. And on top of all this, I do the stop-and-go method and I feel like I am getting better at holding it back. Sure it's only been three times with this girl, but you can't be that bad if you can last two hours of VIOLENT, bed-shaking (I'm not blowing my head up- the neighbors complained, and we were doing it in a house) stop-and-go penetration. And this is the third time we had sex. So- tell me what I'm doing wrong? Is it possible I am trying too hard and her sensing this is turning her off? Am I too good to be told the truth (and I mean that in the most modest, desperate for an answer sense)? Or can it still be impossible to come after that kind of method? Okay guys, I've written you all a friggen novel here. Please forgive me and all of you really do have my sincere gratitude for having read a little, let alone all, of my post. Godbless and I sincerely hope our relationship survives...