manofthehour111

I wouldnt say I'm stressing over the situation. Sure I see the pattern Im just simply trying to make sense of it all. And there's a lot of reasons why I could expect else from her. For one, she is putting in an effort to see me when she does, so if it's only casual to her why go through the trouble? why ask to stay at my place when she had another place to stay? Casual or not, she realizes that she's laying it on thick. Its only afterward is when she becomes cold. So, I just think if there is some way to stop her from shying away afterward then I will break the cycle we're in. And sure I could just go up to her and talk about it, but it doesn't seem advisable to me. I haven't known her long enough to just ask her about it, because it might drive her away, which right now is not something I want to do. But thanks everyone, you've been a great help.

So this girl's at it again.... Ok, so if no one knows about this girl... I knew her in high school, we recently met up, and she has been sending me mixed signals. I have a post about it from earlier. Anyway, so she told me she was coming to my school for something and that she wanted to meet up, so I agreed. She came up with some friends, but decided to hang out with me instead. So we hung out for a bit, and then she asked if she could stay at my place so I agreed again. We got her stuff from a friends house and headed back. I planned on sleeping on my couch and let her have the bed, because I was still unsure of everything, but she told me to sleep with her in the bed. So things happened, we didn't have sex but there were some heavy times. Yet, the next day when we woke up, it was akward, at least for me, because I didn't know if what happened the night before meant anything or if it was because of alcohol which I hate. We didn't talk about it, got some breakfast and then I dropped her back off at her friends place. But here I am wondering what, if anything, it all meant. I haven't talked to her since then, and I am back to being hung out to dry. She always does this, and yet every time it seems to be getting more intimate and then she wont talk to me for a while afterward. I don't know, it just seems peculiar to me the way she is playing me like this. I want to take a chance, but everytime I think she actually might hang around she ends up giving me the cold shoulder. I am really tweaked about this, and that bugs me. For the first time, I dont know how to read a girl, which is why I think I'm attracted to her so much. She is such a mystery. Any advice and/or comments? I have never encountered this before and I have no idea what is going on.

Hello everyone, I have a quick question. See, I'm graduating in about two months, finally, but I am also pretty nervous about it all. But thats really off topic, the real question is about finding someone. I'm pretty new here, so I dont know if anyone has asked this question before, but I'm going to. I'm wondering, do people think it's easier to find someone outside in the real world, or in a bottled society like college? I mean, it seems like the world is so endless, that it is nearly impossible to meet potentials. In college I always meet new people, at parties, in class, at bars, etc. but I don't see that being the case out there. I see myself in my job, working, and perhaps going out on the weekend. But i dont know, where do you meet people when you're not in a highly sociable setting? I know bars are a place, but bars are not my favorite place. They're fun, but usually when I go I try to have a good time not find someone to spend time with. And then I think about it, the only place to meet people would be at work, or possibly through connections with old friends. I don't know, it's not the most important thing to worry about now, but I was just thinking about it. I'm also moving away for work, which doesn't make me very secure. I'm going to be in a new place where I won't know anyone, and it's going to be hard to make new friends let alone try to find someone to spend time with. Anyone got ideas? I'm sure people have experienced living in a new place, and it would be great to get some pointers so I'm not going into this situation blindly. Thanks everyone!

This is such a great place. You give a lot better advice than my friends (whose constant reply to anything is "I dunno let's drink") but yeah I guess I just needed the reassurance that I'm not being played. She probably is waiting for me to make the next move, and I didnt really look at it that way. Oh how the women love to be pursued, feeds their ego and all! Well, I guess I should call her and see if she'll take me up on a date. Thanks again everyone, you guys have made my day!!

I can see where it seems like she's just using me when she needs a date, but it still puzzles me. If my only use to her was as a date, wouldn't it be more advisable to find a date closer to her? like a buddy at school, or someone that lives by her. I am a state away, and to me, it wouldn't make sense to ask me to visit if she only needed someone to be seen with. I'm not saying that this could be her intention, but it's peculiar that she puts in effort to see me if I'm just "that guy she needs to be seen with" You know? Also, it's not like we're the closest of friends, i mean, I've talked to her maybe three times before that party, and that doesnt seem like a person to use if you're in desperation to find a date. I could be wrong though, I don't know what women think.

So I've talked with my buddies about this, but they don't understand it either, and I'm left wondering what I'm supposed to do. So I've turned to the Internet, hoping to find the answers that have evaded me for so long. And here I stumble accross this site, and after looking through posts by others; I realize that my answers may lie in the words of my fellow man (or woman). So, here goes… I've got this woman, knew her since high school, but fell out of touch when we both left for college. In high school we hung out frequently, of course with my romantic intentions never unveiled. I enjoyed her company, but soon we had a falling out, and I hadn't seen her for two or three years since. However, come October of last year our paths crossed again. She sent me an e-mail, explaining how she missed me and wished to catch up. I agreed and it was set. We went out to lunch the following week, and had a wonderful time. We were laughing and joking, talking of the high school days. She even brushed me with her hand a couple times, and that to me was a good sign. However, seeing as we went to different schools, we didn't talk much after this. But then Christmas came, and she went back home before me, because her school let out before mine. She began to send e-mails about how I need to come home, and that she was there waiting for me. So the first day I got home I called her, and she told me to come to a party one of her friends was having. So I went, and things really began to look up then. She hung on my arm the whole night, and often times leaned in to whisper in my ear, and then kissed me on the neck and the cheek. Yet, when we both left (not together unfortunately) she never said anything at all about it. Actually, I didn't talk to her for a week after that, and soon enough I returned to school without meeting her again. But later she called me and told me I should go to her school and be her Valentine and that we could spend the night together. Well, her school is like 4 hours away so I couldn't make the trip. I asked her to come visit me and she said no way, that it would spell disaster, whatever that means. Well, I really don't want to relive the whole experiences but basically I think the message here is clear. She continually sends me heavy signals for a bit, and then will completely shut me out it seems. It will be from one thing to another, with a couple weeks of nothing in between. She seems to be interested, but every time things go well a dry spell occurs and I don't hear from her for a while. I'm wondering, is this just the sign of a big flirt, or maybe I should go for it? It seems everyone thinks she's just pulling my chain, and that I need to stop eating all the flirting up. They say she is messing with me, and doesn't really want anything. But, she made the effort to meet me, and does this often. I don't understand women, even today. To think, I feel like I'm in high school again, which is exhilarating at times, but I'm just too old to do the things I did when I was a kid. Anyone got any ideas to what it all means?