Selena777

"and me being Filipino or as you said a racial thing...." ---hey are you sure that people are raciest against Filipinos? Most of the guys I know think that filipino girls are soooooooooooo hot. They are not raciest...they would be desparate to get a filipino girl as a date. For me, I think filipino girls are the hottest, and so do most the guys I know. I find it difficult to believe that they would be raciest against them...... Trojnmn said he was Filipino. Sheyda's half white and half asian, and I'm black. My way of looking at it is that you do whatever makes you happy. And once you are happy, people will notice that vibe when you interact with them and they will be interested in you. And it's just difficult not to concentrate on it, due to youthful hormones and the curiosity that results. It also makes me feel abnormal, like I've failed as a woman. It seems like something relatively simple that I, the alleged genius, should be able to "fix". And if people don't like the way you are, hell with them! As much as I've wanted to do that at various points throughout my life, it's just not as simple as saying "The hell with 99% of the world, I'm perfectly okay with being alone now and even forever, if that's the way things are going to be!" . You've gotta believe it.... and I just can't.

Stop worrying about getting into a relationship would be a good start. Do things that you like, and be happy. Once you achieve that, the guys will come. That's what everyone keeps telling me, but because of my past experiences (rejection from the opposite sex, social ostracism) I have a feeling of entitlement when it comes to this part of my life (you know, promising myself that one day things'll be great, and I'll be like the female Hef or something... haha) and I fear that if I continue to neglect it by concentrating on my studies, music, etc. like I did in high school, it'll never manifest itself. My reasoning is "What else in life can you achieve by just ignoring it and assuming that it's just going to magically happen?" College / university is a blast, even without a partner (even without beer). I mean, I have never dated, kissed a girl, had a gf, and I don't drink or go to wild parties, yet I love university. What do you want to get out of university? Do you really want to learn? Do you want to make new friends? Do you want to get involved in political organizations? How about cultural or recreational clubs? There is soooooo much to do at college other than dating and drinking....debating....writing....playing. LOve your college experience. Don't worry...you will find someone....who will love you!!!!! I've joined a few organizations, and I'm great in my classes, although they're not that exciting -- I'm trying to get all of my general education courses out of the way this year. On top of my stagnant social life, I think I've chosen the wrong school. The whole atmosphere... it's like it's closed to me, if that makes any sense. Everything I wanted to believe about college, everything my sister told me about college... it just doesn't seem to apply here. ----just befriend guys. Get to know them. Be thier friend. Just go up to a guy you see often, smile, and ask him how he is feeling. Ask him how his weekend was. Ask him about his interests, his hobbies, his goals for the future. Ask him about his family (broths, sists). Ask him what he wants to do with his life. Ask him where he has travelled (or wants to travel). Talk, smile, and ask him!!!! Good luck But I can barely even look anyone that I find remotely attractive in the eyes, let alone ask them about their personal business. I've tasted bitter rejection numerous times, and while I can survive it, my recovery time isn't that great. The few friends I have in school initiated conversations with me, never the other way around. That, and it's difficult for me to find people that I seem to have anything in common with.

College life.. it's been a disappointment thus far... I've got a record of social failure that I just can't shake. On the very day of orientation, everyone started separating into little makeshift cliques. Now it's the second semester and the cliques are melting into the Greek organizations, the more popular majors, and the moneyed crowd, and I feel almost entirely isolated. As a result, my love life is D.O.A. Not that I can say that it's ever been much better -- I'm on the site because I can identify entirely with so many of you... I'm 19 and I've never been kissed, gone on a date, or anything like that -- but the vast majority of the guys here act like I'm invisible. My mother says it's a racial thing, and she may be right... the place is chock full of Tara Reid look-a-likes, so I know I stand out, but I guess it isn't in a positive way. I'm also an introvert -- up until fairly recently, I wouldn't even ask a question of the sales person in the department store -- but I've made some progress in this area. I have a tendency to delve into self-analysis, wondering "What's wrong with me?", questioning everything from my physical appearance to my preferences in men, to my cultural & religious choices. So, I guess the questions that I pose to the more experienced of you is, what do I do to change my luck with guys in college, or anywhere else, for that matter?