I broke up with my ex about a month ago. We were together for a year and a half. It was a bad break up, due to the time of year and the circumstances under which the break up happened. We still work together at the same office but are no longer friends.
Our attempt to be friends was impossible as the way we relate to one another continued to be dysfunctional. She continuously wanted to talk about our previous relationship and I could see was very angry with me. I couldn't handle continuing this situation as the wounds of the break up were too deep and fresh for me to feel okay about being around her.
So we are no longer trying to be friends. The work situation has been very tense since then. She continues to want to talk to me about our past relationship so that she can work through it. I experience these talks as her unloading all her frustrations with me on to me which usually leaves me feeling very guilty, and angry. I am having difficulty with getting over this relationship and this is not helping me. She says it is helpful for her to talk about how she is feeling. She expects me to listen and not get mad at her for dumping all her emotions on me.
I want her to talk about how she is feeling, but not to me. I have recently told her again that I no longer want to talk about our relationship after yet another talk. She is upset about this and acts like if she can't talk about her feelings about me then she doesn't want to talk to me at all.
I am right to think that it isn't good for us to talk about our relationship anymore? I feel like it is okay because I need to get over this and don't need it freshly reopened every week.
Is it reasonable for me to think she could be civil with me when I don't want to hear how she is feeling about me?
I would love to be friends with her in the future but it feels like she may close off this possibility. Should I maintain a strict no talk about the relationship policy?
