lauren hauger

wow, thanks so much to all of you. It helps alot to write it all, even more so when others share my feelings. I have not seen any help for my problems. My family doesnt help either. So I'm glad that there ARe places that I can come to and let it out. Thanks again!

Well, so it happens again. I thought I saw all done with this thing called bulimia. It has been with me since I turned 13. I have also had the "good ole" self injury since I was about 15. I have been dropping weight, I got down to 93 pounds. Instead of the yucky butt 3 digit 103 pounds. I was confronting myself every single day. I am at 98 pounds, cant seem to rid myself again. Well it seems I work better with lotsa food around me then with out any or hardly any. Thats cause with just a little like say a frozen dinner, a chicken breats and maybe some chips. i find myself eating the lot of it. I say to myself "let me binge this then i will purge" that way i have no food left. So i do that, then cravings began I end up buying more food and starting all over again. Well today I have unopened boxes of wheat thins, plain chips, cans of pasta and frozen dinners. I am not even wanting to eat them. I feel so weak. This happened a few months ago. I was fasting, living off diet sodas and an once in a blue moon sucker for energy. here I am again. Not eating. With the thought of food kinda makes me sick. I enjoy the hunger pains. just wish me luck that my mind will not have me binging again. cause i find skipping the meal is a whole lot easier then nibbeling at it!

This is self injury-at its worst. Not only are you depriving your body of needed nutriants you also hurt yourself. You all got to understand that self injury is addicting and also comforting. I SHOULD NOW I HAVE BEEN BULIMIC SINCE I WAS 13 AND SELF HARMING FOR 6 YEARS.