justme123

Thanks for responding again. She told me to call her "sometime", which could mean a lot of things. You don't think it would be wise to call her up on Christmas to wish her well? Because that is what I'm leaning towards right now. Up until today I hadn't spoken to her at all in about two months. We've been broken up for about three. Previously it was left at a sort of don't call me I'll call you type of situation. But she didn't call me, so there was no communication. So her telling me to call her sometime is a change from what it was before. I still have some things though. I have her phone numbers out here and back home in my phone, and her addresses, etc. I also have a small box of purely sentimental items, which I would be hard pressed to get rid of right now as I am still attached to them, also pictures of her, some of just her, some her and me, and also some when she was very young. Of course I still haven't given up hope of reuniting, even though it seems to be a far off hope at this time. I've been doing okay, it's just that going through all my stuff brought back all my old memories and everything. Although I've accepted that we are no longer together, I am not ready to move on yet. I do want to talk to her again, that's why I was planning on calling on Christmas, because it gives me an excuse to call her up without it seeming out of place or whatever. Even though I will make my own decisions, I find it extrememly helpful to hear peoples responses to my situation and am able to get a much better perspective that way. Thanks again for responding, and I hope to hear more advice if anyone has any to give. -justme

Thanks for the response, Johnny. You might have missed my latest update on this post, but I actually did already give her the sweatshirt, before Christmas and in person... if you read my latest post, I'd love to hear your advice in regards to the current situation. Thanks again, -justme

Okay, I was planning to give her the sweatshirt for Christmas, but it didn't work out that way. It's the week before Christmas and I have been getting everything packed to move accross the country and back home. She lives accross the street from me currently, but I will be 3000 miles away come this weekend. I found a few random items in my stuff as I went through it that belonged to her. So I called her up. I haven't spoken/seen her in a few months, so I thought about it for a while before I actually called her. I guess I wanted to see her and say goodbye before I left, since there's the chance I may never see her again after I leave. I told her I had a few of her things and she agreed to come outside and meet me. I went over there and gave her the stuff that was hers. Then I took out the sweatshirt and asked if she wanted it since I don't wear it anymore. She said yes and took it almost right away, she seemed to really want to have it and everything. After that we just talked a few minutes. She said it felt a little awkward, which is understandable since we were so close and hadn't seen each other in so long. She told me a little bit about what is going on in her life and that she is doing good. The whole meeting only lasted about five minutes I think, although it seemed longer than that. At the end, she came to me for a hug and I hugged her for a while. Then said goodbye and she told me to call her sometime and I said okay. So, I don't know. I feel pretty good about the whole thing. I don't think I should read too much into all the things she said/did, but I'd love to hear some people's opinions about her reaction and if any of the stuff she said means anything. I'd like to think there is a possibilty for us in the future and that I just have to leave it up to fate to make it happen. I said okay when she told me to call her sometime, so I figure I will give her a call on Christmas since it's coming up soon, and wish her happy holidays and see how that goes and if we will talk more after that. Unless someone really thinks I should call her sooner than that? Well, pretty much any advice is welcomed and appreciated. I thank anyone who takes the time to listen to me and give me their advice. Thanks. -justme

Thanks for all the responses! Learning, I agree that it has sentimental attachment, but why would that be a bad thing? I don't think I'd want to send something impersonal like flowers. Ready, things left off when I stopped calling her because it was just me trying to make contact. How do you think it would make me look to send the sweatshirt/picture? because I don't want to look badly. icee, I want to, I just want to be sure it's not a terribly bad idea. Ballys, that's basically what I'm planning to do. I agree that it can't get much worse either way, but I wouldn't want her to see it as manipulation or anything.

Thanks for the responses. Angel, why do you think the shirt is a bad idea? atlas, my idea is to leave it at that. I would send her the sweatshirt and picture with a note or card or something just saying merry christmas hope you're doing well and she can contact me if she chooses.

Christmas is coming up soon. I haven't spoken to my ex in about two months or so. I don't know what she's doing or how she is and I'd like to, but I know that trying to talk to her has just pushed her further away. Anyways, what I was wondering is if it would be ok to send her something on Christmas. I was thinking to send her a really nice sweatshirt of mine that she would borrow from me for a very long time and only gave it back recently before we broke up. I just tried it on not long ago and she seems to have adjusted it in some way that it now feels girly on me to wear. I don't know if this would be a bad thing to give her. I don't think she would be uncomfortable having one of my sweatshirts because she kept one of mine that wasn't quite as nice when we broke up. So anyways I don't think I'll wear it anymore and I know she liked it, so would it be ok to give her that as a gift? Or would she see it in some way that wouldn't be so great? I'm also planning to send her a picture of her that belongs to her that I kept when we broke up. She asked for it back then but I didn't give it back, so I'd like to give that back as well. So besides whether that are ok gifts, is it even ok to send gifts at all since we are broken up? Would she just see it as me trying to manipulate or her or something of that nature? I figure it would be a nice way to let her know I still think about her and without having to try to initiate any communication with her, which previously has just pushed her away further and further. Thanks for any responses!

Hannibal, thanks for replying! I think maybe you're right about her not wanting to let me know she thinks about me because when we did break up I did turn into a clingy thing she did not want to deal with. So it's a good thing then that I don't call, even though I'll never know unless she calls me. Heh, I wish there was some way to find out what she has been up to without actually talking to her.

sickofbeingsad, thanks for responding! I haven't called her and I don't think I will yet, not now anyways. Do you really think that she thinks about me? I know she must, she stopped coming to the class that we were both in, and she was doing fairly well in the class, so the only explanation I can see is that it's hard for her to see me. I don't know if she is still going to her other classes or not though. I think maybe she is avoiding me and trying not to think about me. But if she is making efforts to avoid me, there must be a reason, she must care in some fashion otherwise it wouldn't matter to avoid me right? It's kind of funny how things turned around. When I first met her she had low self-esteem and she needed me to be there for her to help her get through things and I was. But now she's left me and I'm left needing her and feeling down about myself.

To see how she's doing, how things are going, if she's still going to school. I'd like to find out her reaction, to see if anything has changed since the last time we talked. I'm worried about what she'll think though, if it would just be going against myself to call her, make her less interested in me. But it seems like she's not interested in me anyways since she hasn't called me at all.

I didn't call her. You think I should? I'd really like to, but I really really don't want to make any more mistakes.

I think I'm gonna call her...

Hey, you can read my whole story so far here: link removed It is extremely long though! So anyways, I was wondering if it is ever ok for me to call her? I haven't spoken to her at all for about a month now, but I saw her and her friend walking today from accross the street. I think she saw me, but they walked away from me, so I assume she didn't want to see me. I'd like to know how she is doing and if things are going ok for her, because she doesn't come to the class we were both in anymore. Is it ok for me to call her ever, or will that just be continuing to push her away? Thanks for any advice!

I haven't heard from her since she called. Today I miss her a lot. Some days are harder than others.

I think I'm going to tell her when I see her that it's not fair for her to call me, unless she actually wants to talk to me.

So, she calls me today while I'm in the shower. I called her back when I got out and saw she called. She wanted me to buy her beer (she's 20, I'm 21). I told her I'm not going to buy her beer, and she's like why not? I told her for multiple reasons. First off, I don't think she should be drinking so much, and also because she doesn't call me at all, until she wants something from me. If we were friends, maybe I'd do her favors like that, but obviously we aren't friends because she only called me because she wants something from me. She told me she thinks I owe her, for everything I've put her through. I told her that I agree, that I think I owe her, but what I owe her is not to do her favors and be her errand boy. I think I owe her to build back her trust, etc., but she obviously doesn't want that right now. So for me to buy her beer would just be like me buying a chance to see her for a moment, and have her be nice to me, but it would all be superficial. She said I couldn't even come over and drink with her, just wanted me to buy the beer and disappear. She also said her mom was coming to visit soon, I asked if I would get a chance to see her mom and stuff, but she said no.

Actually, I think I'll try to get up early on Monday, so I can take an early bus, that way I won't have see her until later in the day when we have class together. I haven't been posting much lately, because I've been trying not to think about her at all, but seeing her yesterday brought her back up.. but no one replies to me anyways, heh...

ok.. I've been no contact with her all week, since last saturday and now it's saturday again. Yesterday I was going out to walk down to the store, and I saw her and her friend walking up on the other side of the street, going to her apartment. She lives accross the street from me. So I quickly changed directions and went through my complex so that I wouldn't be out on the street where she would see me. I think it would have been very awkward, for me at least. I'll see her in a couple of days anyways though, after the weekend, since she will most likely be at the bus stop. Unless she doesn't go to school...

jchan, who are you directing your question at? I don't understand what you said..

Thanks for responding, cmacey! Good advice. I don't want to "make" her feel guilty, I was just wondering if her feeling guilty was a good thing or not. I think you're right though, that her being guilty would not be what I want, even if she came back, it would just be from the guilt huh, not because she really loves me.

So on monday I went to school, but she wasn't there in class today. Must of slept in or something.. so I skipped school today so I wouldn't have to see her. So I don't think I will see her at all until next monday.. that will be a whole week and a day or so of absolutely no contact. I wonder if she has thought about me at all...

Well, I was thnking that I should stop going to school where I would see her, but that would mean I'd have to stop taking my class that I have with her in, where we sit next to each other. So that maybe she would think I had already left, so that she would call me. But I think that would be wrong because she would only call me to find out if I left or not, and I think that's not what I want, I think I want her to call me because she wants to call me. At the same time I would like her to call me though... I dunno, any advice?

I was thinking about some things and had a question.. If you want to get back together with your ex, do you want them to feel guilty about breaking up with you? I'm pretty sure you don't want to make them feel guilty, but if they do feel guilty, is that good or bad?

Heh, I'm trying to edit my posts so they are easier to read instead of just filling up the page. Maybe that way more people will read it and respond.

Well, I haven't talked to her since we spoke on the phone a few days ago. I've been trying not to think about her much. Mix Maxter had sent me a PM the other day which made me think about a lot of stuff. I've decided that she couldn't really fall out of love with me so easily. I can't believe that, unless she never was in love with me to begin with. So I thought about that a bunch and I *know* she was in love with me. Just because it was more than us just thinking ok we're in love. It was something real.. like it's hard to describe, but what we shared before was like a connection that was almost tangible. I could feel and other people could see it. Like really see it, it would manifest itself physically. A lot of times when we would go out or something and people would see us together, just strangers, and sometimes someone would say they could see it, you know. That's how I know it was real. So if it was real, then I don't believe that she could feel the way she says she does. I'm not saying she's lying, I think she's being honest with me when she tells me she's not in love with me anymore, and we will never get back together, and she probably believes it, but I don't believe it. I'm thinking that I should stay here now instead of going home. Because it's my head that's saying I should go home, because it would be so much easier, and I could be more comfortable and maybe happier. But my heart tells me to stay, even though she doesn't want to spend any time with me or even talk to me really. I think I have to listen to my heart, I have to believe in what I do, whether it's true or not, it's what I believe right now. Am I stupid?

sugar_ray, I believe in miracles. You need to know why did you sleep with your ex-boyfriend. If it was the wrong choice then you should find out why you made that choice, what let you do that if you love your boyfriend. Also, if he has cheated on you so much, how can he be mad at you for doing it? As for my own situation, I think I might be making my posts too long, I wonder if anyone has even read the whole thing, heh.