kaliikat

I know what you're going through. I am in the process of packing up and moving out of the apartment that I share with my boyfriend of four years. I always knew that he was "bi" but it's gotten to the point that he's spending endless hours on the computer talking with other men and trying to meet with them behind my back. When I found out, which was only a month ago, I was crushed. I wanted to work things out but then I started to feel like I deserved better. We truly love each other but I can't make him not have these feelings. I came to the conclusion that I would always wonder what he was doing when he wasn't with me and I couldn't handle the whole not trusting him issue. I hurt so bad though. He's my best friend and now we're spliting up. It's much more complex than him just being "bi" but I just wanted to let you know that there are other people out there going through the same thing. I'm so sorry for your pain. I know that I feel like an absolute mess and I wish it upon no one. Hope things look up. I'm sure they will.

Thanks for the advice. I wish I would have never started reading his email because what you don't know won't hurt you and I know too much. I can't ever confront him about anything because it would give me away so I just ask about it like i'm curious. I know every piece of his life through his email and it just ends up hurting me in the end. How in the world do I stop? Especially after all I know. It's like a book that I can't put down. It's to the point where I have to figure out what the last page says. Will he meet up with another man or won't he. But I know there will never be a last page, it will be a terrible cycle that goes on forever if I let it.

My boyfriend is bi and i've known this for many years. He's pretty open about it and it's never really brought up any kind of problems for us, until now. He says that he's starting to fantasize about men again. It's a pure sex thing for him, he doesn't want a relationship with a man, he just wants a j/o buddy...as he puts it. Although I know this is wrong, i've been reading through his emails and I found out that he's joined a gay personal online service. He's posted naked pics of himself and is talking with other men. Most of the men are in different states and has no way of ever meeting up with them. I've been keeping a close eye on him and he never meets up with anyone. There's never even talk about meeting. I think he just enjoys fantasizing about it and that's as far as it goes. Would you consider this a major problem or would you consider it harmless. Part of me wants to think that it's just like looking at porn and another part of me is so afraid that he's going to act on it. We're almost always together so it would be hard for him to do anything behind my back but I don't want to have to keep such a close eye on him. I've asked him about it and asked if he wanted to go that route. I told him that we could have a threesome with another guy but he says that he doesn't want to share me and things could get complicated. he would rather just have a j/o buddy and thinks that it's harmless. What do you think about this? Am I worrying too much, or not enough. I don't know if it's time for me to get out or just work through it.