mylifeisasoapoprea

Well, I broke NC, i sent my ex a short e-mail, i kept it friendly, she replied back to me. In the reply i got the impression that she was really depressed. She has been through hell..because her house burned, the break up, problems with family. I don't know how to reply to her or what to say to cheer her up? any suggestions? In the e-mail she said this

I've been watching too many movies, reading too many books, been alone too long. I think I am on the verge of another psychological breakdown. White walls make unpleasant cages and knowing that you are trapped inside them with nobody telling you can't leave but you know you have nowhere to go is not pleasant. Nowhere to run and nobody to run to. But I'm alright. I really am. Just bored. I just need school to start, get some normalcy

I am not sure how to reply to that. Any suggestions how i can make her feel bettter?

Well I have been wondering today that whether or not i should break NC. I have been doing NC for few weeks now, my ex and i are apart for the summer and i have to face her in a week and a half to get back my class ring. (she wanted to give it back to me in person). Well I chose to go NC a few weeks and ago and i told her that i would just let her come talk to me instead. Well she hasn't come and talked to me yet. I am not sure if she as at all intrested in talking to me anyway. I kinda think she's not though. I was wondering if it is okay to send a quick e-mail to say hi and see whats up. I do miss her and i wonder if something is still there between us. I know that i don't need her but i do love her though. If i do e-mail her i would just keep it light and brief. Should i break NC? i know that i will have to see her in a week and a half to get my ring back. Should i just wait until then or send her the breif e-mail or something?

That was a great poem. it was powerful. I liked a lot. Good job

"i need to live for myself" WHILE WE WERE APART FOR THE SUMMER!!!!!

Well she did know that i was into her and not her sex, i told her that and i made sure that she knew that. But maybe she did take advantage of my trust and got her fun with me. She did tell me that she was happy that i wasn't into sex and all that like a lot of people are. She seemed intrested in sex though... so i don't know. maybe she did take advantage of me and the situatiion. I don't know anymore. i wish i did. Maybe i'm thinking of her in a nasty way because i'm hurting, i don't know, but there is something that tells me that she took advantage of me.

well i went out with her for 8 months, and she has had 2 other boyfriends besdies me. the last relationship lasted for about a year, i'm not sure about the other one though. She didn't always make the move in "that" sense it was only at first so. But i don't know if she meant or not anymore.

Well, I have posted before, now i don't know what to think about what happened between me and my ex. Well anyway my ex and i did not have sex but we did have oral sex, and we did give each other the hand. I am beginning to wonder if my ex really meant all of that. I don't know but with things that has happened before we dated it makes me wonder now. She told me that she cheated on her pervious boyfriend by stripping in front of a webcam several times. She obviously did regret that and still does. but she also told me that she let these two guys give her hickies and she never even met them. She seemed to like it. I think wrong to let people you don't even know do that. This all happened before we started dating, and now i wonder if took advantage of me and just wanted to have fun with me. She gave me the impression the whole time we were dating that she loved me, i mean she told me like everyday, and she told me how much i meant to her and stuff like that, but now that she dumped me i wonder if it is all a bunch of lies and that she just said that and acted like that just to have fun and see how far i'd go. Was i lied to? am i just thinking that because i'm hurting now?

When stuff did happen like that started happening it was her that put my hands and stuff there. I don't know what to think she gave me the impression that she loved me but she also talked about it behind my back to her friends,( who also had boyfriends). I found out from one of them that all she talked about me was things involving sex and fantisies and stuff like that. So what were her intentions? I don't know what to think anymore. I'm not sure if it was love because if she loved me she would still be with me right?

you're not driving anyone nuts. Its normal to think about what you are thinking about. Well I think that it is a good sign that he comes around more and talks to you more since you told him your feelings. If it is over between him and this girl he needs to tell her. The problem is he doesn't know how to get a hold of her. That could be what is slowing him down too. Its better to officially end things before getting into another relationship. That would slow me down if i was in his shoes. Yeah i know that a lot of people say best friends shouldn't date. I dont' see anything wrong with that either. I believe that best friends should date. Its a friendship that matters the most in any relationship. I believe that strong friendships make strong relationships. It makes the relationship more meaningful and more loving. and knowing that the other person was always there and always will be there is a great comfort to have. I know the supense is crazy, I hate not knowing stuff. just hang in there, things will work for the best.

Well I'm a guy and if a girl got her family to jump all over me for not calling and i had no idea had to get a hold of her...i'd be a little annoyed. Thats probally what he is feeling right now. Doesn't sound like he and this girl are close either. She could have called him instead of getting her family to jump on him. I know it hurts not knowing. It drives me crazy sometimes not knowing things. It does sound like this guy did lose intrest in this girl. I know i would if i was in his shoes. Like i said before give it time. After you told him your feelings did it affect the friendship or make it stronger? If it made the friendship stronger the chances are greater for a relationship. Just give it time and if he comes around the love will be strong between you two. good luck to you.

Well he knows about your feelings. I can't really tell you for sure if he is your soul mate or not or if he is interested. If knows how you feel time will tell. Did he stop talking to his "girlfriend" before or after you told him your feelings? If it is after, chances are that he saw something wonderful between you two and relizes he can be happy with you. It is going to take time and you will see whether or not he is your soul mate. To me the best relationship and the most meaningful is when there is a really close friendship. Well i wish you luck.

yeah she told me that she loved me. She told me everyday while we were going out. Sometimes over and over. However she doesn't seem intrested in getting back with me. She has said that she wants to be with me but she can't and that doesn't make sense to me at all.

Well, I am in the middle of NC right now. I wish that i would have done that right away instead of pleaing and begging and etc. Well see the thing is that I never really had the feeling of love before really in my life until i met my ex and dated her. I never really felt any love from anyone really including my family. Well i did everything to show that i loved her. I know htat i only stressed her out and smothered her too much. Well I love my ex very much and long for her to be in my arms once again. Well right now we are both back at home and away and away from each other for the summer. She gets depressed when she goes home. It scares me. (she does have a history of cutting herself).Well the thing is before we were away there were times where she started to get depressed. I was afraid of us ending because i thought there was something wrong with us. I'd try to get close and show her that i was there and htat she could talk to me. I loved her and i cared. I feel that i smothered her too much by this and it drove her away. I gave her the impression that i was needy and clingy and couldn't live without her. THe night we broke up ( it was over the phone) i started to beat myself up. I really beat myself up while i was on the phone with her. I had bumps on my head, cut on my ear and nose bleeds. She heard all of this going on. I scared the crap out of her. I think she might still be afraid. After the break up i did ask for her back a lot of times. One time it did really get heated. She sent an e-mail to me calling me moapy and depressed and made me feel like crap. I was angry i sent and e-mail back to her saying "why would i want you back, i'm sorry for loving you etc." She was hurt and mad at me. I didn't mean what i say. I love her dearly. I regret scaring the crap out of her. After finding this website i did go NC. I am now giving her space. I wonder if any ladies out there had an experience with someone who seemed needy and were smothered too much? I know that i can live without my ex. I know that i don't need her in order to live and that there are others out there that can give me what my ex gave me. But I love my ex and i want her back. Do you think i have a chance of getting her back after all of this??

Also there is another thing... a few years ago she me this guy at camp. She became prettty close to him.This guy had a crush on her. And she did admitt to having a crush on him way before we started dating. She doesn't see him very often but next year this guy will be going to school with us. She talked about this guy all the time. She had pictures on her wall of him too. We have talked about this guy in our relationship. She said gave some pretty shallow reasons for not wanting him. She is not a shallow person. She finnally said that guy was like a little brother to her and that it just wouldn't happen between those two. I don't know, but if they are that close could they end up in a relationship?

So is there even a chance with me and my ex anymore because of all of this, me giving out the needy impression, and this thing with the other guy? thanks for taking the time to read this.

I went through a similar situation also and it did lead to a break up, I had to go through the long disance part because we were away from each other for the summer. My ex tends to be depressed when she is at home. She started to act really weird last christmas, spring break, and this summer. We ended breaking up. I scared me when she went home. I love her and i did push her and that drove her away. The best thing is space, i look back at everything and i say to myself "if i only gave her the space i'd still be with her." It bothered me when she was depressed and i wanted her to know that i was there to talk to and i cared and when she was depressed i wanted to know what was wrong and i pushed ehr to far there and it drove her away.

I know its hard to give space, and really easy to push love, i am the same way. What i felt with my ex i have never felt anyone. I never really felt loved at all until i met her ( i didn't even feel love from my family). It was really easy to get scared, worried and excited to much. Definetly give her the space, she will come to you when she is ready, it takes patience, i know its hard. It takes time and patience. I am intrested about how everything goes because i went through similar situations and feelings. keep us posted.

The night my ex dumped me, i started to beat myself up over the phone. i had a cut on my ear, bumps all over my head, and a bloody nose. She heard all of this over the phone and said that she couldn't do it anymore. So i started to beat my self more and more. I feel that i scared her away for good now because of it. She was afraid that night. It is a bad habbit and no one wants to be seen doing that to themselves but its hard to keep from doing it. I wish i didn't act the way i did, but i couldn't help it. I feel that if i didn't act that way she would still be mine. I love her to death i do. I want her back and i want to be able to work things out, but i don't think i will be able to anymore because of beating myself up. I know that there are better ways of handling it, i have been trying the hardest i can to keep from doing it. I really don't know what to do to keep myself from doing that. I ahve tried meditation and it seems to help, It helps sort your thoughts out. Try doing something like that it might help. I have been trying it and it has helped a little.

do you think my emotional break down and me giving the impression of being needy scared her for good though?

Well, My ex girlfriend used to be a cutter. Eventually she went to her dad about the whole thing and she was able to get counseling and it helped her. Consider talking to someone who you can trust about the whole thing.

My ex girlfriend said that they cuts only get deeper and she's right. When you really are hurting and you want to hurt yourself the physical pain isn't felt. I tend to try to beat myself up when i am down and the pain feels good. It is wrong to harm yourself though. There are better ways of dealing with anger.

It does sound like the abuse could be bothering you still. Do you feel a lot of guilt about everything? I know my ex always felt guilty about stuff and kept all that guilt inside her. Don't feel guilty about the abuse. you didn't do anything and you didn't desereve to go through that pain and you don't deserve going through anymore pain by cutting yourself. Guilt after abuse always happens. You didn't do anything and you aren't guilty of anything. Stop cutting and if you can't seek counseling. The scars last a life time. My ex looked at those scars and it still haunts her and she regrets doing it. Also try doing something relaxing like medation or yoga it might help clear your mind.

Well I'm fairly new to these posts but i did post one in the past at

link removed if you are intrested in reading it.

I'm wondering if anyone has ever left their ex with and impression that they were needy and scared them off. Have you ever had an emotional breakdown that scared them away because of that? I know that a lot of you did try and plea when your ex dumped you. I know that i did. I talked to her and plead, she sent something that hurt me and called me a depressed moapy person, and how much i have crashed and all of that. I got angry and said somethings back, like "why would i even want you anymore" "i'm sorry i love you, i'm sorry i even care" Has anyone said anything that hurt the other person and got the person back? I didn't mean what i said. I do love her and i mean it. But have you had any experences simlar to mine and got the person back?

Well i am rewritting this to give a clearer picture about my problem and add somethings that i forgot to add. I need some advice. I don't know really what to do. My ex and i were really close and had a great bond together. We started to fall apart before the summer and we are away from each other for the summer right now. We broke up half way through the summer. It was kind of a sudden thing for the break up too. My friends couldn't believe that we broke up when i told them because of how close we were.

Well i think it was me that caused us to fall apart. Well I'll admitt i did seem insecure. I became scared of losing her and it was going on for sometime. She knew about it and it bothered her. She told me that me being afraid reminded her too much of what happened in her last relationship. Her last relationship the guy was needy and and clingy and i may have gave her that impression about me. I think i might have been the same way i dunno. I don't want her to think that of me. She always did tell me that she needed me though too.

There was one thing that did scare me during the relationship. There was this other guy she talke about all the time and kept talking about him. She kept in touch with him and talked to him. He lived away. But in the fall he will be able to be near my ex and me. The guy did have a crush on her and he still does and she knows it. She did admitt to having a crush on him 2 years before our relationship. She said she wouldn't date him because he was like a brother to her. If they are so close wouldn't they want to date each other? She did also give other odd excuses like he was too short, it would be weird because his grandpa, or things like that. She never said anything like "why would i want to right now i have you right now" she never said that to me. She could have but she didn't. I found that she had pictures of him on her wall too. That did bother me. She said that she didn't blame me for it bothering me. Did i over react about the whole thing?

Another problem was that there were a lot of times where she was down about something. It hurts me when she is hurting. I tried to get close and i'd ask her what was wrong, and she would snap and say "what". When i tried to get close she would push me away. It seemed like she was building a wall around me and i wanted her to know that i was there for her and i cared.

It did bother me when she was down. It sometimes was scary. She used to cut herself. She says that she wouldn't do it again and she did get couseling for it. She said that she had thoughts of wanting to do it but she wouldn't do it though. She also had a weird time with nightmares and voices haunting her. Toward the end of our relationship we both were under a lot of stress. She kept talking about wanting everyone to go away excpet me. Then she started saying that she wanted to run away and leave her friends and start over without having her past. Is that part of why she fell away from me? I don't know about you but i'm happy that i have friends. There were times growing up where i didn't have friends around. Why would you want to get rid of your friends. she does have good friends There was this one time where she said that she felt like i didn't trust her either. It was when she was down.

The night we broke up i had an emotional break down. (it was over the phone) and she heard the whole thing. She simply said that she couldn't do it anymore. She said the next day that i scared her with my breakdown. I didn't know what to think when i had the breakdown. I did scare her. She was talking about wanting to live for herself and that she wasn't doing that. what ever that meant to me. then i had the break down. I did plea like everyone else does. Did my break down drive her away and keep her away for good? Is she afraid now?

I still talked to her after we broke up. i look back and feel that was a mistake. She was under a lot of stress, problems with her family and her house burned down. She talked to me and came to me, but i tried to help and comfort her and be there and show her that i cared but she started to take her anger out on me. I did send her money to help her after her house burned. She seemed to appraciate it and she said that i was really sweet. She did make an effort to salvage the things that i gave her, it seems to mean so much to her. Is that a sign that she still loves me and possible might want me back?

I did take the advice and started NC. I feel that she needs time to get her thoughts in order. I feel that i might have tried to push a friendship (which i'm not sure that it is possible). She was taking her anger out on me a lot too. I'm going to let her come to me instead of me trying to be there. Is that a good idea? will it help our problems?

She has said that she still loves me and wants to be with me but she can't right now. That doesn't really make any sense to me really. If she loves me she'll come back. I know that there are other people out there that i would love, and that would love me back, but i love my ex. I really love her and i want her back. Is there a chance of me getting her back? what should i do to get her back? i love her so much. I kinda think that my emotional breakdown and and our problems will cause her not to come back What do you think?