dias

Some photos of Atlanta I took today and yesterday. I haven't found the right spots for photography yet though.

Damn, she messaged me she has been crying all day. I didn't mean to do that. Oh man...

Well I chickened out, I tried to weasel out of it, I took her for a ride, we sat on the beach and I told her we have different goals (which is true but I didn't mention anything about attraction) and there is no future. She teared up a bit. She got it or at least I thought so. However, then she suggested we visit a hotel one last time. I agreed when I shouldn't. There was no penetration but everything else. I drover her home and I thought that was it. But the next day she kept messaging me all day long, I didn't reply but she wouldn't get it. I wrote her a harsh message that aside from the other factors I don't feel physical attraction to her because although she has pretty face and I like her personality I tend to like thinner girls. OK I admit this is where I f*cked up big time, I didn't think of it much when I wrote it. Her reply was a paragraph long that I didn't have the balls to tell her in person (which is true) and it's offensive to do something with a girl and then tell her you don't find her attractive (which I guess is also true from a woman's perspective). She was correct though, I didn't treat her right. That was the first time in my life I did something with a girl I don't like, can't say it went well or was worth it in the first place. And I acted like a p*ssy which might be the worst.

Super excited!!! Just landed!! Bro has a nice place 👌 can't wait to explore YAY

Finally!!!! YAY

Like?

We went for a walk last weekend as friends. Then, yesterday she asked me if I wanted to go for a walk again with her. I was like ok why not. When we got back, she suggested we sit in the park. She had other stuff on her mind. We sat on a bench. I thought ok now either I kiss her or I tell her I am not into her. I kissed her and one thing led to another apparently and we ended up in her car in the middle of nowhere. During the whole thing, she complimented me so many times I found it kind of uncomfortable. I reciprocated some compliments of course but it was mostly due to being polite. At the end she told me she likes me and I replied I liked her back (which is not true). I don't mind hanging out with her but I am not interested in a relationship with her. I like her as a person but this is as far as it goes. I need to find a way to cut it.

Wow!!! Thank you for placating my concerns. I feel much more relaxed now hahaha 😆

This lady here describes everything I feel to the T. It's true that when you start travelling it's extremely difficult to settle down. Especially in your home country, you feel so stagnant........It's difficult to explain it. I think this Swedish lady on the podcast who traveled a lot before moving to the US and did all those amazing things she did, put it very accurately (1:48:40): home is everywhere but you don't feel fully at home anywhere. I think this describes most nomads. Btw, Jib I think you would find this gal below interesting.

I haven't organised a meetup since last time. It was Easter holidays here (Orthodox Easter is one week later) and I took a break. This weekend I wanted to upload a new video as I am leaving next Saturday. I will resume the meetups once I am back. I bought a ticket for a 2 hours river cruise in New Orleans (is it the Mississippi river there?) and an airboat tour in the swamps to see the alligators. Damn, this would be fun. As long as the boat won't capsize of course lol. My coding skills won't dissuade the alligators I am afraid hahaha I don't think I would have enough time to visit all the places I would like as I want to spend some time with bro too. I think I will choose Nashville over Savannah but I haven't decided yet. Everyone who has visited New Orleans told me it's awesome and a person like me would love it. Let's see 🙂

I spoke with an ex-colleague from my last job in the UK. She said she liked my Youtube channel. I asked her how did she know about it since I hadn't told her. She told me my erstwhile manager promoted my channel during the morning meetings and encouraged people to subscribe. She said he is still talking about me and he is very proud of me starting a youtube channel???????????????????? I am like I left the company almost a year ago and the atmosphere wasn't the best anyway. It was pretty bad actually. Why would he speak highly of me a year later and after what happened??? I can't fathom his intentions???? I doubt we will meet or work together in the future....although you never know, life is unpredictable. People are strange, go figure.

Of course you can't. Who would?? I do believe most people who are not religious fanatic need a dogma to believe in which helps them in their life. I also believe we all or most of us need a story to believe in to keep us going. It does not have to be a religion. For instance, a rug to riches with lots of adventures story is a tale that motivates me. For someone else, it might be a nice house full of kids. I am an atheist myself but I don't mind religions as long as they don't force it down my throat. Now, things become weird when you believe that God reveals you the path to happiness, success, peace of mind and whatnot. It's so preposterous I wouldn't even try to engage in a conversation if I heard something along those lines. It's a different world... Yes this does sound odd. I thought most public (I assume it's public school?) schools in the UK don't involve religious teaching?? Correct me if I am wrong but most people in the UK are protestants I think. Correct me if I am wrong again, I thought protestants are the least fanatic believers?? I am not wasting time arguing for nonsense. Nonetheless, I am a libertarian. Their life, their opinions. As long as they don't force them on me one way or another. My take on religion in general? Religions were like the social media before the advent of technology. They are based on doctrines to keep people under control. It was a medium to push propaganda. We have social media for this nowadays but imagine how would you control the masses if you didn't have the current technology? Definitely creepy and unhealthy to shove it down his throat at this age. Lol let me know how it plays out.

Lol

Yeah I read about your acquaintance's paranormal fantasies lol. Did she really call a witch doctor? Was that for real? Did you ask her if she is smoking something funky to share it with us lol I tell you what, I have met engineers who believe in psychics. For real. I always found it strange with engineers who believe in God and are very religious, I think their judgment might not be that emmm good. However, believing in psychics and stuff is beyond comprehension notably when you are an engineer. Go figure.....

I've been thinking the UK a lot lately. I didn't finish what I started and this really frustrates me. I thought I would rest up whilst in Greece but it didn't happen. I actually look and feel more tired which is strange because I work less, I have a flat on my own and the weather is good. What gives? I can only attribute this to not pursuing a goal and I am witnessing my life passing by. I go out with colleagues, friends, some dates and I honestly can't relate to anyone on a deeper level. It's always superficial stuff. Except from one childhood friend who is the only one we discuss freely and everything, everyone else is just another person I met in my life that I am not really interested in spending more than a couple of hours and he/she does not add anything to my life. I am the strange one, I know this. At least in the UK I am chasing something that gives meaning to my life. Now I don't even have this.

At first I thought it was an American movie but then again it was too sentimental to be an American film. I checked wikipedia and it's in fact French. It makes more sense. It's not that American films can't be sentimental but every culture has a different "kind" of sentiment. I mean this movie is too maudlin, it had to be something like French or Italian. Certainly a really good movie. Natalie Portman was a better actress as a kid than as an adult lol.

Do I know you or what ?😉😎

Lately I have been feeling much better in general. There are always some mishaps happening but I am getting back my old self. It might be the upcoming summer. It might be I will be 50% on a project which utilizes the latest technologies and I will be the first developer in the company working with those. It might be that I am excited about my trip to the US. It might be with the fact I got offered this good job in Liverpool and although I rejected it, it really made me feel better. Probably it's a combination of all the above. One thing I know for sure. I am starting to have this feeling of anticipation that the future will be better than the present. It's the most optimistic feeling I have experienced in life and I feel it when I am in a good state of mind.

I watched https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Léon:_The_Professional I watched it when I was little but I didn't remember much. I liked it. It would have been censored nowadays. I believe Lolita would like it.

I agree! I knew it wasn't a good sign but I thought what the heck...Anyway, she texted me she has her period so she won't come tomorrow. I think she got it. Although I believe she would text me again pretty soon....

I matched with a girl on Bumble, we texted and called each other for about 2 months. She was eager to call me almost every day to have "phone sex" or whatever this is called but not very eager to meet. She traveled outside of Greece for a few weeks, she had an excuse alright but when she came back she wasn't too eager to meet and she didn't have any excuses this time as she lives 100 meters away. I suspected her photos might be old and she gained a lot of weight since then. Unfortunately, I was right. We met for a coffee. On the photos she was a bit overweight which is not my preference but an interesting personality could compensate for that. However, she has gained a ton of weight. She says it's the antidepressants that caused her to put so much weight. It might be the case, I have heard the same from other people too (which makes me think if these drugs do in fact work or they are causing a slow death from obesity and health problems - dunno). I couldn't see her in a sexual way but I was as polite and pleasant as I could be. She keeps texting me. She texted me today to go to her house. I replied I am tired. I told her she could come with me for a walk on Sunday if she wants. She said yes. I hope she did get the message that I am not interested in her. We can hangout from time to time, I don't mind, but this is it. I hope I won't have to spell it out for her although she is perceptive so hopefully she knows.

Lex has by far the most interesting guests from all walks of life. It's so amazing because you are listening to such interesting people who have chosen an unconventional life path.

Really interesting