the_tiger_striped_cat

Sorry that was ambiguous. I was asking clit OR gspot. I know where the gspot is. It's behind the clit on inside, that whole think about beckoning motion with your finger and rubbing the roof. My ex loved this.

Ill fix it. Ladies help us out!

you're right. I'm going to change it

I'll think about your comment. And thanks!

Sister go read some relationship books.

Read "Men who cant love" and see if your ex fits the mold.

Read "Women who love too much" and see if you fit the mold

And there's many more out there.

There are many causes for this wishy-washyness in men. (But don't think Women are imune to it either.) I'll explain 2 that I know of:

1)The commitmentaphobe. Look at all the women who believe that their ex/bf/husband is a commitmentaphobe:

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Be careful not to assume or read into it. You're bf may not be, but if he is you better run for the hill.

2) FEELINGS CHANGE! It's so funny how people can't see this. But I'm not talking to you specifically. And I'm no trying to say this in a pesimistic way. EVEN IF he doesn't have feelings for you, the right circumstances might bring him back to you. Not realzing that feelings change is the very reason that men get to relationship lazy and people tell other people to "give up hope" when it comes to getting back your ex.

I'm sorry I can't offer much advice on how to proceed (if you don't get any I can take a stab at it), but maybe this will help you understand 2 of the MANY reasons that relationships are like the weather here in Ohio.

Thank you all for your empathy at this hard time. I'm doing it this moring! I'll send it one day .. HA HA

 

Kind of a lose lose battle... there is no right answer to beauty.

 

But you can't say there's no answer. There may be an answer. Like you said it depends on your beliefs of aesthetics. Would you say that movies are great only insofar as the viewer thinks there great? Is ANY or ALL music out there great or bad depending on the person? So can these movies:

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(IMDB worst 100 movies of all time) ever be great. I really don't know if I believe in an objective or subjective Aesthetics. But I do know one thing: I know the difference between a horrible movie and great movie. And there is something to be said of plot, acting, and storyline.

So no matter how you slice it, even if something is "good" to you, there maybe another idea of beauty. I know people don't like to have their poetry criticized, I know it's "good for themb" and that's great. But Eliot isn't a great poet because people at his time thought he was great. He's great because, not only he thought he was great, not only did people of that age think he was great, but the experts--the people who have made it their job to enjoy poetry--and the masses still find his poetry great.

I know people hate this idea because these poems are special to them and they want to share it to the world. They don't want to think that their poetry is sub-par. They'll explain away any deficiencies by subjective aesthetics and anti-intellectualism

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Compound this with the fact that our age is more apt to equate T.S.Elliot with some mere old, curmudgeonly, out-of-date poet that no one cares about anymore, and you realize why no one would dare take my side.

I'm not saying that the poems here aren't good, for you or for anyone else. I am saying that many people need to get off the idea that, "I write really good poetry". (Of course you wouldn't criticize any person's poetry--they would get so defensive anyways.) I think people should embrace their inexperience and realize that their potential (and there's lots of it here) will be lost if they don't understand that you should read as well as write, and that maybe these poems can be T.S.Elliot great and not just "good for me."

Ok, I want SPECIFICS, and lots of responses. They say it's not the size but how you use it. Now how can one best use "it".

1)Do you like it when a man is rubbing your clit while having sex?

2)Comment (or rank in importance) on the following:

-Rhythm

-Speed

-Angle

-Depth

-Power

3)Is there an angle that would allow a man to thrust and rub your clit ( or g-spot?) at the same time.

4)What is it about a dildo or vibrator that make women climax so much better than than a man could .

Thank you LADIES!

yeah me too .. thanks

i have read many of there work's i'm not totaly dumb but if it dosen't come from my heart then it meens nothing .

What makes you think that it's not from the heart? Have you read Leaves of Grass? Thoreau went into the woods...

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Does that sound like it's not from the heart? How about this:

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"Tell me not, in mornful numbers, Life is but an empty dream!" -- Longfellow

And some are so heartfelt that I felt the need to commit them to memory.

My life closed twice before it's close

Yet it remains to see

If immortality reveal

A third event to me

So huge, so hopless to concieve

As these that twice befell

Parting is all we know of heaven,

And all we need of hell.

-Dickenson

What happens to a dream deferred?

Does it dry out like a rasin in the sun?

Or fester like a sore, and then run?

Does it stink like rotten meat?

Or sugar over like a surpy sweet?

Maybe it just sags, like a heavy load.

Or does it explode?

-Hughes

These are people that have been through the same things we have. They definitely write from the heart. What's your favorite poet? If you don't have an answer to that then maybe you should also read poetry instead of just write.

I haven't got the guts to send it. I'm sending to tonight. She knows it's coming. She's been chcking her email frequently actually.

But I doubt she'll respond though. She never does. I really don't care if she does. It's not some last-ditch effort to "win her back" it's only to tell her I will always love her. It's like the ending of a sad movie. It's like the words I want to remember years to come. I want to think back and remember, "I loved her so much that I let her go, I loved her so much that I would gladly suffer for her happiness"

That's how I want to remember her.

Shes2smart is too smart!

I just put a lot of books I don't need anymore up on link removed. And if you're price is below everyone else you can move the books. I sold 4 books in 2 weeks and made $25.

But if you can't make money can you cut back on the expenses?

Sorry I can't be of more help

True love will conquer all. And if you and him are indeed soulmates, nothing will come between you two.

Well I don't believe in stuff like this but that's for another conversation.

If you two really do love each other it will work. LDRs are a great test for a relationship. The ones that crumble would of crumbled eventually.

Look at it this way. There are many women and men in this world. And many of them love at various levels. Now the levels might blur somewhere, but I know there's a difference between the "visit once a year" dedication and the "visit every weekend" dedication. And med school is no excuse. You should be each others priority. Sure you can't visit all the time, but there's no reason to let med school be an excuse. Sure it's hard, but you'll find that hardest part is getting in, after that it's a lot of work, but it's not as bad as you think. It's not like you're going to be there for 6 years working 13 hour days. You'll have plenty of time to keep a relationship going.

Good luck!

You may want to raise your children in a Catholic church, but I wouldn't leave them alone in one.

 

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Ummm. What does this have to do with anything the OP was asking? Do you know the difference between Catholic and Christian?

Well since B's advice was offhanded and helpless, I'll take a stab at it.

I've always thought about the same thing. I would be willing to let my children be raised Baptist, for example, if my wife was Baptist. (I would still attend my Church sometimes.) But believe in very liberal religious pluralism:

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so it wouldn't be as much of a problem, in my case. The fact is that ONE of you will have to give in, or some sort of compromise will HAVE to be made. If you are "uncompromising" as you say, he will HAVE to give in. Can you see of ANY other alternative? I don't think there is one.

You may have to break up with him. If you're looking for compromise the last place you should look is religion. If two of your are unwavering in your beliefs then I really don't see any way out of it. I mean, I know you want to make it work, but EVEN IF two people seem perfect for each other, compatibility is a prerequisite to starting a life together, and you may not be compatible.

But maybe to help you be a little more open. You know, Unitarianism is a form of "Christianity."

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And always remember that your thoughts of having your children raised in a Unitarian Church--well he's having the EXACT same feelings.

Good Luck

Or you could find them all here

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What the heck is wrong with these commitment phobics!! If you don't want a woman for the long run, let her go!! Don't jerk her around! It's not an honest thing to do.

I agree compltely. Read "Men who can't love" and see if your bf fits the mold. Read "Women who love too much" and see if you do.

Thanks D346 and others. I agree with all of you.

Pushing him is bad. Both times I talked about marriage I did it nicely and not in a pushy way. I just wanted to see how he felt. I felt he wanted to avoid the subject. The second time he listened more and grumbled something, with NO enthusiasm.

Remember leaving him to think things out is not the same as pushing.

If you have been together for 6 years and he's not sure about marriage, then he will never be. Sorry if this isn't what you want to hear but, you have life waiting out there for you. My advise would be to ask him if he ever plans on marrying you and get him to agree to some date, but if he won't then he will never committ to you.

 

It may sound harsh and it will be very difficult, but I wasted some years of my life myself and am now happily married to the "right" guy.

 

 

kim is right on many things here, but I wouldn't say "never". They say that "love knows not it's own depth until the hour of separation." Where you his first real gf? Did he ever have major heartache? He may know nothing of his true feelings. Take it from someone that faught for his ex for 13 months after she went back to her ex. Sometimes you don't know something until you've lost it.

 

But be carful. You want him to LOVE the prospect of marrying you. If he is coersed into this in anyway, you'll just get a divorce years later. You want him to fight for you, you want him to be the man of your dreams.

What Francis said is GOLDEN!

Either this guy is a commitmentaphobe or he really doesn't understand how much he loves you. It may sound shady to leave him as a test, but what are you going to do? How long will you wait? Set a date. "I won't bring this up for another 6 months." Be kind to him and pull out all the stops. If he still doesn't recognize your value then you should leave him.

Tell him, "I love you, I want to spend my life with you, but if you don't know if you want to marry me after 6 years you may never know. I can't be in a relationship with someone that doesn't know if they want to marry me--that's how important this is to me."

He'll either fight for you or (if he has serious problems) he'll let you go. Good luck.

anymore responses, I'm very curious

I just know in my heart he is the one for me and he is worth the wait.

Well this explains your feelings. But there are MANY people that say the same thing and end up breaking up. But what gives you the commitment. I know you wouldn't say that you're somehow better than other people--although maybe you are in this respect. But the point is your dedication comes from somewhere.

Hmmmm. I'm not sure "most people" have them "several times a month.' Maybe your friend do. But most people experience them every few months. Acording to 3 sources I found about 10% or less have nightmares once a month

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But depending on your psychoanalytic theory of dreams, maybe you just don't have any psychological tramua to deal with, maybe you're not really sleep deprived. I don't know, but if anything I would say this is a GOOD thing. Got to learn more about it:

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I think you might have that backwards. Aerobic excercise, anything that gets you breathing hard will raise your heart rate, and anaerobic excercise, like lifting weights, will keep your heart rate relatively low.

It's true that you don't have to run AS FAST to burn fat stores. If you run as hard as you can for 3 minutes your body will look for energy fast. So the glucose in your blood will undergo glycolysis--this is the perfered metabolic pathway for quick energy. It doesn't have time to metabolize fat. So, as the theory goes, you can run in a "fat burning zone" to burn fat and not glucose in your blood. I'm a little skeptial of this, and even if they are true some studies show that if you do "interval training"

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whereby you run all out for 5 sets of 2 mintes (for example) you can actually burn more calories thorughout the day.

It is true that if you have more muscle (denser muscle) in your tummy it will look better sooner, but if you have a layer of subcutaneous adipose (fat) tissue, you'll never really appear "tone". So I guess you could do some situps to speed the process along.

Hope this helped somehow.

When cutting what kind of foods do you go for to maintain the muscle but loose the fat, and how long do you have to maintain it for.

Last year when I cut I basically did a modified "subway diet". You know that guy from the subway adds. Well subs and pitas near my school are rather low calorie (~500 cals for pitas, 700-800 for subs) so if I kept my caloric intake to 1500 and ran I could create a deficit of about 1000 calories, so I was able to lose about 2 lbs a week.

This year I jumped on the low-carb bandwagon. Actually if you talk to any of the bodybuilders you'll find out that they all do basically low-carb diet

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The Cylical Ketogenic Diet (CKD) is what most bodybuilders go on before competition, it's very good in maintaining muscle and losing body fat.

CKD, Akins, and South Beach all restrict carbohydrates to less than 30g/day for a certain amount of time. South Beach goes through phases and reintroduces carbohydrates when you're over insulin resistance. CKD has you recarb (refeed) on the weekends where you basically eat as many carbs as you want so that you're muscles are saturated with them.

Thing is I didn't really follow either of these very well. I dropped more and more carbs. Didn't eat any breads, at lots of meats and salads, chicken, bell peepers, eggs. But I also wanted to eat about 5 times a day so I also got boxes of yogurt and peanuts. Low-Carb yogurt really shouln't be consumed when on a low-carb diet. It has like 8 grams a cup and I eat probably 3 of them a day at least. And peanuts also have lots of carbs and are high in calories (but they are loaded with unsaturated fats which boost your good, LDL cholesterol).

So my metabolism was racing due to eating like 6 times a day, but I didn't really have a calorie deficit, so I stayed around 175 for weeks. But I was relatively carb depleted during these weeks, but not enough to enter Ketosis:

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It wasn't until after I fasted for 3 days with little food that I jumped right into Ketosis. Not to sound gross but your urine will turn a bright color, your breath will become sweet, and your body will warm up as it burns the fat. When you go from working (cardio/weights) often and eating all the time your body gets used to having a constant influx of calories, it find's no need to go into "feast and famine" mode. But once you do stop eating your body is so used to having a constant blood glucose level. But once your liver and blood are depleted of glucose it has to maintain blood glucose or you'll pass out (plus your brain needs blood sugar). So it goes to the now preferred metabolic pathway (link removed) for energy: fat stores. It catabolizes the fat:

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into glycerol which the liver can convert to glucose.

Sorry for the long winded answer. Just showing you that there is a method to my madness.

But back to your question. It will depend on how you want to lose weight. There are glycemic index books out there that will let you understand what foods to stay away from in you want to go low carb. And if you want to just try low calorie then it doesn't matter what you eat as long as it's low calorie. You also want lots of protein to maintain muscle.

Good foods for low carb:

Cottage cheese (really great! low calories but VERY high in protein)

Tuna Fish - Very high in protein and omega-3 fatty acids

low carb Yogurt - Still has too many carbs for a low carb diet but has lots of protein

-eggs

-most cheeses (string cheese, but this is high in saturated fat)

-mayo

-lettuce, salads w/ shredded bacon

-any meats

-Most veggies (but not fruits, they contain fructose which is a sugar)

-sugar free jell-o

Be careful: most low carb foods aren't really low carb

Good foods for low calorie diet:

-The above plus

-fruits

-oatmeal (make sure you eat breakfast. You burn more calories throughout the day)

-nuts in moderation

-yogurt (low carb has lots of protein)

-As for drinks: water, water, water. If you get sick of just water get some sugar free CoolAid, or tea, anything with an artificial sweetener like aspertame or splenda, but drinks are a source of needless calories

Sorry I can't think of anymore at the moment.

If you're looking for more idea's there's lots of good books on Amazon and you and google for more info.

Good luck.

ha ha. That would be nice.

Carter is on the money on this one, but I do disagree with a few things and can add a few things.

You need to do lots of research! Losing fat in one area is largely regarded as a myth:

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He's right you have to lose fat all over. And if you gained weight in your tummy first, its the hardest place to lose fat. First of all, diet will be more important to you than excercise. If you run you lose ~100 calories per mile, regardless of the speed. So if you're like me, and you run 4 miles then you only lose about 400 calories. That's not even 1/7 of a lb. So diet will be one of the most important things for you. Now there are different ways of approaching this:

1) Low calorie: This is the tried and true way to lose weight. Now the idea behind low cal is that you count calories and and remain in a calorie deficit , that is you burn more than you consume. For a woman maintenance, or the amount of calories needed to not gain/lose weight is about 1800 (if I remember correctly) but you're a bigger woman so you probably are higher than that. If you decide to go low calorie:

-Find out your Basal Metabolic rate (BMR)--the calories you expend by laying in your bed all day--and like Carter said, it woudln't hurt to find your BMI for the long term.

-Once you know this, remain in a calorie deficit of 500-1000. Each lb of fat contains 3500 calories, so if you cut 1000 calories from your diet you'll lose 2 lbs a week. Anything more than this and you'll probably be losing lean body mass (muscle) as well so keep it below 2lbs a week. Again link removed is good for this. Watch serving sizes(!) stupid companies will trick you with the serving sizes. If you still are having problems losing weight start measuring your food with a scale, or adjust your BMR/activity (again link removed) to see where you might be going wrong.

2)Low Carb. Now everyone is different, and some people seem to have had success with Atkins or South Beach diet. The idea behind Low Carb is by restricting carbohydrates you don't give your body time to spike your blood glucose (via insulin spikes) and shunt the glucose into fat stores. So you're body has no choice but to use glucose stored in your blood and liver for energy. And when this runs out in the course of the day it is FORCED to use your fat stores for energy. Now there are many metabolic pathways that your body uses for energy and it all confuses me, but actually body builders have used a modified Low Carb diet for decades called the Ketogenic Diet. Both Atkins and South Beach are versions of the Ketogenic Diet:

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by restricting your carbohydrates to less than 20 a day you force your body into fat burning (and incidentally, muscle PRESERVING) Ketosis:

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Actually I fasted for 3 days and I definitely went straight into Ketosis, I burned about 3lbs and lost a inch off of my waist. But I really don't recommend that route, in fact I don't think anyone recommends that route, but it shows you that if your metabolism is raging (we'll get to this) you'll burn the fat quickly under the right conditions.

Now some say that the only reason you lose weight via low carb is because low carb foods are low calorie foods. Maybe. Maybe not. Carbohydrate and protein contain 4 calories per gram and fat contains 9 calories per gram. Whatever. The point is some people lose weight via low carb diets.

These are two of the most popular. But no matter what you choose you should:

-Excercise. This is VERY IMPORTANT Now exercise might not burn a lot of calories unless your dedicated enough. But you should exercise for all of the many other health benefits. Plus, it will increase your metabolism.

-Eat often with small meals. 5 times a day if you can of low calorie foods. This also burns more calories via the Thermic effect of Food:

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-Mutivitamin, lots of water, sleep well

-Track your progress. Use body fat calipers, tape measures, make a spreadsheet, use link removed, get a tania body fat measuring scale (I have one and it's only good for trends over a week though), take pictures with a digital camera. There are two schools of thought. Weight yourself everyday to see what's going on, or weigh less often so you don't lose motivation. Track your body fat %. This is the most important thing. Although the scale is a good second measure.

Now what happens when you've lost all that weight and you want to keep it off? The reason that you're gaining the weight back is because you go back to old habits and are in calorie surplus again or you're now burning less calories due to the lost lean body mass (muscle) after dieting.

-As the South Beach diet recommends, you need to get off the diet gradually. This is the time to REALLY track your progress. If you start gaining weight, ask yourself how much your eating.

-This may sound weird but Weight train. You might want to add weight training to your exercise routine during the diet too. As we grow older we lose muscle. And it is said that one pound of muscle burns 50 calories a day while one pound of fat burns about 5 calories a day. So make sure you gain that muscle back after/or during weight loss. You should measure your body fat % before and after and calculate the amount of lean body mass (muscle) before and after.

Good luck. But above all remember this. Each person is different and it may take years to lose or understand how your body works. If something doesn't work after 3 months, try something different. I've been anywhere from 190 to 150 over the past 10 years. But gradually I'm getting closer and closer to the body I want. It takes a lot of work. But good luck, I would check out Usenet for more discussion on this:

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