colesmom

Ocean Eyes, Your questions made me think. I do not believe I am still in love with him. I believe it is obligation. I look to my future even six months from now and don't see him there. I do feel like I am wasting my life away. i want to be a good mom and be happy but he is dragging me down. Yes, he is a workaholic and that is his life. Even if he doesn't work, he still have the laptop and I just sit there and do nothing. It is awful to say but I do not trust him with our son. He has no idea what to do, even with his ex they broke up when his other son was 8 months old who is now 6 and he never had custody. I did love him once upon time, but I feel like marriage was more of an obligation because I was pregnant, and I wanted out before the baby was even born, and the here he came and things were happy, with a new baby who wouldn't be. I know I should go back to my parents but I'd hate to crowd them. I know they probably want me to come home but it would be a big change for them until I do find my own place, since I do have debts on my own to pay. My husband and I sit in silence a lot and i don't know how to say anything to not make it turn into a screaming match. Any suggestions? Thank-you all for the advice.

I actually have suggested cousneling and I have told my husband that I was to see a therapist but he just blows off thinking I am crazy. I really don't care about whats his whats mine. I would want my stuff and he can have his and split everything else. I am an independent person or at least i used to be. And there is no doubt in my mind that my son will be with me. I won't leave anywhere without him. I have thought about moving to my parents but Im not sure. Sometimes I wonder if I should stick around here get a job and save up some money and get my own place I just don't know which would be best

I haven't posted in a long time but my life is an all new hell. I have been married for just over a year and a half. I am 20 years old with a one year old. I got married when I was three months pregnant so that was the first mistake. I been a stay-at-home and don't have any problem cleaning cooking etc. He doesn't have to do a thing. However, he has no involvment with his son whatsoever and i can't stand it. He never changes diapers, feeds, cleans, plays anything. I figured we would be 50/50 in raising him but no. He spends all of his time home on his laptop or with his other son (not mine) We never have sex and he never lets me go out and do anything by myself, and if I do I hear about it forever. He won't even watch his own son if i have to go to the grocery store. I am miserable, I fantasize about living on my own and making my own money and at least enjoy my life with my son. my husband makes me feel worthless and that I can't do anything right. I don't get any sleep and I am so unhappy. all he wants to do is sit home. and thats what i do all day everyday. I have no money but am currently looking for a job. I have left before and then he said he would change things and he did for a week and then back to the way he was before and its been 6 months since then. I am very upset, very unhappy, and I just want out. I never should have married him in the first place. I think hes not a good person, does not have his priorities in line and could care less about anything except his laptop, I need some serious advice, should I just pack my things now? thanks for listenening, Kat

I would like to add that the kids mom is not gone she has him most of the time. I am not even a step-mom, and the kid doesn't know what that is he knows me as his dads wife. And I don't want to hate the kid, but I can't help it. I have tried so hard to get along and it just doesn't work. I love kids but I guess its different. A lot of feelings are involved, like jealousy hatred and the fact that he gives more attention to his son than the son we have together and that really bothers me. And I honestly believe that if the kid wasn't around things would be better but thats not going to happen and I would never ask that. I don't know what to do, I don't want leave but I don't want to stay either

I don't think I have ever been more unhappy then right now. I have been married for a year and one month, and we have been together for a year and 7 months. So that tells you right there that we got married six months after we met. That was a mistake. I got pregnant four months into the relationship and he wanted to get married right away and I didn't, I wanted to wait until after the baby was born but I did it anyway. To begin with he had a son from a past relationsip that I never liked. He is five now. I can not stand his son, I can't stand his ex, and I can't stand him most of the time. He works and I don't, which is usually no big deal except all he does leave all of his things around the house and never picks up after himself and he knows that I would just do it for him. And everyone tells me not to do it but I have the compulsive disorder to clean so I can't help that. He spends absolutly no time with our son who is now 7 months old. He doesn't change diapers or feeds him or play with him or anything. I understand that he works and I never bother him about it during work hours ( i sould probably say he owns his own business in the house so he is home all day) and I also understand that he needs to relax and now it has just gotten to the point where I don't ask him for anything. As for his son, I just don't know where a to start. I suspecting about a year ago that the kid had some sort of disorder. He's five years old, pees and poops pants in the middle of the day, throws the most horrible tantrums, doesn't listen and was suspended from preschool. He has stabbed a kid with a fork at school, kicked teachers, and the list goes on and on. I brought it up to my husband and he said that he is a perfectly normal five year old. Well now things are worse. I don't want his son around mine because of the bad influence, I can not even be in the same room with and I have honestly never seen him be good. Well because of me not wanting to be home when his son his home, it causes us to fight constantly. ( I should probably also add him that we have his son tues, thurs and every other weekend) I just can't get along with his son and I have tried so hard, I as so full of hatred for him and that is not like me at all. Just this past weekend, my husbands and his ex pulled his son out of the day care he was in because he got called everyday to pick him up and he went ahead and agreed to take him on all these extra days and didn't even ask me about it. I feel as if this marriage could never work because of the way i feel about his son ( I refuse to call him my step-son) and I just got so angry and frustated when he is here. I don't want a divorce because i want the son we have together to have both parents together which is rare these days. I just don't know what to do. We never have sex, can't get along, and fight and its mostly about his son. I need help