gone

NC Day 7 Sometimes I feel like screaming at you at the top of my lungs for everything you did so wrong by us. Other days, I go about my life just fine - staying busy. The ache in my heart has been less and less this week, as my heart slowly starts to catch up with my brain. I deserve better, my brain says. But my heart is still so angry and forsaken. That's when I want to scream. I doubt you know what you left behind. I don't think you care. The whole thing was a set-up.

Day 0 - I accept the challenge. It seems like 30 days from now is an eternity. I know I won't want to revisit feeling like I do now. It has been 26 days since we broke up officially, however, for a very long time we were off/on and it was not a healthy situation (lots of fighting, silent treatment, criticism, etc.). I am working on myself to become a better person. He ended it, saying we fight too much, after I asked for closure (before that he angrily dropped out of contact). What I hope by coming here is to scream and cry as much as I want, without bothering my ex. Unlike some, I do not believe anger is healthy, and I have already felt a lot of anger toward this person. I have been, and am, in the forgiving mode. I am trying not to move on, I am trying to move FORWARD. Forward meaning, into happiness and out of grief.