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Thread: She stopped saying "love you"

  1. #1
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    She stopped saying "love you"

    Thank you in advance to anyone that replies to this, I've been having a rough time of late. I've been with a girl for 8 months now. It's been a rocky road but 90% of the time I've been happy. Around 3 months ago the gf and I exchanged "I love you" and after that things seemed to clear up. After a while the problems came back (she's from an emotionally abusive household with addiction issues). She has never been the most affectionate and when we talk on the phone I'm always the first to say "love you" and she says "okloveyoubyehun" super quick then hangs up. When we're texting though she used to say it all the time telling how much she loved me, and multiple times a day. Last weekend we had an argument because she gets annoyed with me for stupid things I say without thinking (she takes everything personally from everyone and gets annoyed with all people family/friends/me/etc.). This week she has hardly said it at all it used to be she would say "Love you" at random times during the day (first thing in the morning/last thing at night as well). Now...nothing, she won't say it randomly or even when I say it first. I'll say it and she only will say it back if it's at the end of a phone call. Any insight? What should i do?

    tl;dr (Girlfriend used to say Love you a lot, now basically nothing....what do I do?)

  2. #2
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    I think you should stop saying it. Sounds like you're saying it, just to say it. The easy answer here is that she's stopped saying it because it is either A) not true or B) Never was true.

    She probably never meant it, but felt obligated to say it to you, since you seem to ascribe so much value to it.

  3. #3
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    I hate to say it...but you might be right It was weird because in my family we say it all the time, but I don't hear her family say it near as much. I guess I just need to take a step back, and see how much she really does care, if at all. Thanks sometimes I wonder if I'm sticking around just to not be alone.

  4. #4
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    ..and gets common when repeated many times.
    besides,loses all momentum for when you really need to say it.
    Save some silver bullets for later on.

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  6. #5
    Platinum Member RitaTrue's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by solidbunker
    ..and gets common when repeated many times.
    besides,loses all momentum for when you really need to say it.
    Save some silver bullets for later on.
    This! This! THIS x3


    As for me myself, I can relate to your situation, from your girlfriend's side perhaps. I'm not an "I love you" everyday person myself. It loses its unique-ness and VALUE to me when repeated EVERY DAY, and if it loses value, then it feels fake, saying it all the time, to me. If this is her stance, then I agree with BananaPell, she's probably just saying it--this OFTEN--because you are, and she doesnt want to hurt your feelings or come accross as unloving. Even though she does care about you.


    Just because she doesnt say "Love you" everyday the way you do, doesnt mean she doesnt feel it. It just means that communicating it--everyday--may feel unneeded to her, because if she's already told you that EVERYDAY beforehand, she probably thinks you already know. And you should.

    You'll have to accept that not everyone communicates the way you and your family do.


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