Me and my girlfriend have lived together for about a year. I am now 27 and she is 24. I have known her for about 2 years total. Back then I was working in the west coast and she was still in school in the midwest. After she graduated she moved to west coast and moved in with me. Previously I had second thoughts regarding living together but she didn't have a job and no place to go really (her family is not in this country) so she wanted to move in. At that time I had mixed feelings for her. I loved her but then I wasn't sure if she is the one or am I going to marry her. However, she was more certain of me I think.
Now it has been a year and we've had had our share of arguments but nothing major. I think it is so because I am generally non-confrontational and I can't get mad at her for too long. She on the other had is very stubborn type. I enjoy the times we spent together and all that. During the last year, I have pretty much paid for all her expenses including her cellphone, previous credit card debts and some of her student loans. Also recently I helped her get a car and have been making monthly payments on it. I make decent income which allows me to make this possible. SHe is grateful to me for having done all that.
She has even asked me about marraige many times especially the last several months. She has a strong desire to get married with me but I know deep down that I am not sure about it yet. In fact thesedays it is clear to me that I am not really happy in this relationship. She is a nice person to be with but I dont think she is the one I really want to spend the rest of my life with. However, I am having a really hard time trying to convey this to her. The thing that makes it difficult is that she is really attached to me. She only has her mom as a real family but with who she has a very bad relationship. I think it is mainly her mom's fault. She tells me sometimes that she never wants to talk to her again and cries after getting off the phone with her mom. SHe also has a very low self-esteem but I always try to make her feel better. She has told me that I am the closest family to her in this world and that she would be devastated if I left her. That is a really big thing for me to bear. I know that I don't want to hurt her too much but at the same time if I dont tell her about my feelings now, it might be worse later. I have broken up with her once in the past and she always tells me that she is insecure because of that and sometimes she has nightmares that I'll break up with her again. She is a very sensitive and emotional person and gets hurt easily.
I just need some advice on what is the best way tell her and how can I still remain friends with her after all that. I am even willing to give her some financial support after the breakup. I think it is mainly my fault for getting her this far without being so sure, but what do I do now?
