maron

almost a year ago, one of my aunts filed for divorce w/ her now ex-husband. i'll call her aunt 1. they really were quite the model family on the surface: middle class, nice cars, living in the 'burbs in a nice home, private school education for my cousins, the works. i later found out things were rocky for a while and not everything was as it seemed w/ her and him. family were very shocked. the divorce was finalized a few months ago. this story isn't about how she and her ex reconciled. at least, not with this ex. see, her sister (aunt 2) traveled out of state for a vacation, where she happened to meet up with "bill," aunt 1's past high school classmate and, as i just found out not too long ago, also her ex-boyfriend. aunt 2 came back, shared w/ aunt 1 that she saw bill, and aunt 1 and bill reconnected via facebook. a few weeks ago, i found out that bill had already moved in w/ aunt 1 and her daughters. aunt 1 and bill got together, broke up and lost contact and moved on, each had married (bill has 2 young children w/ his first wife), separated from their spouses, and found each other again. time spent apart: over 20 years. i may have shared this story before but this version has more details. i wasn't clear on whether bill was a past suitor in high school, an old crush but nothing came of it, or an ex, but i got confirmation that he's an ex.

anyone else watch korean dramas? lee byung hun and lee min jung are getting married this year. they dated briefly in 2006 and reconnected august 2012. some korean actors are notoriously private about their personal lives, but i'm sure more dedicated fans can give a rough timeline of these 2 based on whatever info's shared on the news. link removed

adding to the recent contributions (and pettypink, Justin and Selena still count regardless of healthy or not, unfortunately. lol! haven't you seen these stories? no one really knows what's going to happen and as irritating as it sounds, the same applies to your situation): 1) wanted to link this story to the thread: . maybe it was added before, maybe not. 2) co-worker told me her story about how her and her husband got together. they dated in high school then broke up. post-break up, they both dated others. he moved out of state for one year, she stayed near (if not in) their hometown. she liked the new guy(s) well enough and with his girlfriends after her, one girl was a long-time crush of his and they broke up anyway. she said she thought it was strange that at least one girl he dated after her came up to her and said "well, you ruined him for the rest of us. because even though he was with me, he still had feelings for you." they weren't friends and because she's older, this was before e-mail. they were not the hangout type friends, but they would talk sometimes and felt that they needed to be on civil terms at the very least due to the many mutual friends between them. yes, she went through the "we're never getting back together" phase with him, too. i know for sure because at some point in the conversation, i interjected with the taylor swift lyrics as a joke and we laughed about it. hah! 3) from the same co-worker: this is either her daughter or daughter's good friend. we talked about a lot of things and it was hard to follow the flow of conversation sometimes. the girl and guy broke up and became friends afterwards; the guy went in the armed forces (i'll keep it general because any of the branches are pretty tight-knit, you know?). he had girlfriends afterwards but when he found himself single and needing a date for a ball, he asked the girl and she went to where he was at for the weekend. she'd been thinking that there could be something, but when she was with him, she realized that she doesn't have feelings for him. his mannerisms showed that he still had feelings for her. she felt really bad about it as the guy was a good guy, it's just that her feelings told her she was over him. tomorrow is friday, so i hope everyone's weekends will be off to a great start.

wow! when you mean split, was it a married-divorced, married-separated for over a decade, or did the split happen while they were dating?

Minx2012: i think it's because sometimes, some lessons are learned the hard way. i hope your friend finds happiness and in the spirit of this thread, getting back together can happen in spite of the most unexpected circumstances. if he wants her back it can be done. my uncle and his partner who i do call aunt, got back together 10+ years, 2 children, and intermittent relationships, including his long-term one w/ a different woman, later. on this note, a few users have looked for post-divorce reconciliations. link removed from a unique perspective. i do not like to post off-topic responses without honoring the topic of the thread.

thanks for coming back to update, fentiger. how refreshingly positive. got another story. a friend of mine dated a guy for four months, then they stopped. didn't talk for 5 months, until someone called the other (i forgot who), and they actually ended up dating for a year. he moved away to pursue a job opportunity and they decided not to stay together. she has a boyfriend now, but doesn't hate and isn't bitter to her ex.

do your best to not adhere to stereotypes. the only constant in life is change. if these questions are about your ex, your ex may change her mind or she may not. see all of these reconciliations? the common theme with them is they took the steps to move on with their lives. some kept feelings for their ex but accepted that they will never see/be them again and committed themselves to loving the one they're with, or committed to living their life whatever that meant for them. others sincerely got over the ex and moved on. others still felt angry, but moved on too. keep moving and growing and see where life will take you. here's one from an eNA user AnnaN: . i hope you're doing well, AnnaN!

excerpt from an article in Cosmopolitan magazine link removed The affair ended when I started to rekindle my love with an ex-boyfriend. It's been three years now, and I am incredibly happy in my new relationship. I'm monogamous and faithful. But to this day, my office fling remains the most exciting time of my life. I recommend it to every girl. ... to each their own, i guess.

hey, thanks. you're right, i don't know and it will be weird for something to start up in the first place since we're really far from each other. i'm single by choice because i'm still in school, but as soon as i graduate and get settled into my career, figure out my personal finances, i will be more open to dating opportunities. i'd like to end up in the same state as he's in, but i don't talk about it much with people who know he's there because they think i'm going there "for him." not true - especially with what i saw. while i'd like to see him again, i just like the area as i've been there to visit family and liked the vibe; i've made plans to try things over there before i dated him, too. as i've said, he has let me know to contact him if i'm in his area but again, since i'm planning to move there, i don't know if i'll ever take him up on that once i'm settled in. i'm scared. on topic again: link removed link removed link removed just because i don't think it'll happen to me doesn't mean it won't happen for others.

we dated for about 7, 8 months? it's been about 2 years since we broke up. i've given up on this, because i saw a picture of him together with his ex-gf looking pretty cozy. in which case, i'd say they may be back together? stings a bit, but it's better to see that picture. kills all the hope. maybe he should contribute his story to this thread. i contributed this post a few months ago: i found out details about this break up. my cousin broke up with the guy before going to college. no communication whatsoever for 4 years. her sister got married and invited the ex-boyfriend to the wedding (nope, i don't know her motivation for it). she was very upset at the bride for that decision, but that's what started their communication and their eventual reconciliation.

why not? if you didn't have feelings for your other ex, would you have given this another try? or were things so bad with her?

Tired Tiger's spoken about this topic before: link removed link removed link removed if the links have been posted before, well... they're back! they never left anyway.

The Gift of Fear by Gavin de Becker and The Invisible Man by H.G. Wells

Story 1: one of my best friends got into a relationship with a guy after a major break up. she and new guy broke up when she found out that he was cheating on her with an ex of his, the one who messed him up a lot. from a conversation after they broke up, she was avoiding him and the friendship between the guy and one of her siblings seemed to be also done because of the break up. months later, i spoke with her again and she said they're trying to be friends and she'd like to just focus on the friendship instead of the past. i knew she wanted him back but she said she wasn't focusing on that either. they were definitely jealous of each other: a guy pays attention to her, he gets jealous and when girls flirt with him, she gets jealous too. i remember her saying they've gotta figure out how to keep each other in their lives without that nonsense. i've no idea they managed to do this, but i got a text from her a month or 2 ago and she said that they were going to try again. here's hoping it works out for them. Story 2: a co-worker (let's call her Dee) has been with her husband for over 20 years. on our way back from lunch one day, i learned that they also broke up too, and that break up was about 6 months. Dee said it felt like forever. a different co-worker, "Kat," who was with us was very empathetic with her response to Dee's story (something like "oh god, yeah, i bet that felt like foreeeever. yeah, yeah.") it sounds like there's a story with Kat there, too.

you really sound like you have a cool head about this whole thing, though you know that there is a real possibility she won't come back. idk if i'll ever be able to show the same level feelings if my ex has someone else. good luck to you!