How Can I Find Healing After Trauma?

Dear eNotAlone: I'm a 24-year-old guy from London and I find myself stuck in a deep, dark abyss. The kind of abyss where all you can see around you is nothingness, a void. A traumatic event occurred over four years ago, an accident that changed my life forever. At first, I struggled to cope with the loss, to deal with the tragedy that befell me. I thought about ending it all but soon realized that wasn't the answer.

Instead, I resorted to drowning out my drowning. I threw myself into a vortex of destructive behavior and addiction. I developed an alcohol dependency and started using drugs as a form of escape. I found that the darkness was easier to endure if I wasn't fully conscious of its hold on me. So I kept up this dangerous cycle of partying and substance abuse until recently.

I'm starting to recognize that this isn't sustainable anymore. I've reached a point where I'm isolated, without any genuine connections. I feel increasingly alone in this world and struggle to make sense of it all. The guilt and shame weigh heavily on me yet I don't know how to remove them. I'm scared of embarking on this journey alone, convinced that nobody would understand me or care about my battles so here I am, desperate for help and advice. How should I dignify my overcoming? How can I find the peace and eventual healing I'm desperately seeking?

I just need someone to listen and to finally provide the answers I've been searching for.

* * *

It is so brave of you to seek help and to share your story. Recovering from addiction and trauma is not an easy road, but it is worth it in the end. It sounds like you are taking the first steps towards healing, and I want to offer you some advice on how to best move forward.

First and foremost, you need to be gentle with yourself. You are not alone in feeling stuck in the darkness and helpless to move forward. It's understandable that you have tried to cope and deal with the pain and loss by engaging in destructive behaviors. Now it is important to practice patience and compassion for yourself and recognize that recovery will take time and hard work.

The next step is to reach out for professional help. You may benefit from one-on-one therapy with a psychologist or counsellor specialised in trauma and addiction. Talking to someone who is knowledgeable in these areas can help to process the negative feelings and emotions, navigate through difficult conversations and build a support system for strong and healthy coping strategies. attending group sessions or joining a 12-step program can provide solidarity and motivation as part of your journey.

Focus on self-care. Make sure to keep a tolerance for discomfort, as this is the only way to push yourself out the other side. Practicing activities such as mindfulness, journaling, art and music can be incredibly therapeutic in this process. nourishing your body with healthy meals and regular physical activity can help to feel more balanced and energized.

Take it slow, be kind to yourself and recognize the immense courage it took to ask for help. You deserve recovery, healing and health and are fully capable of achieving this. I wish you the best of luck on your journey.