How to Get Back at Your Ex Boyfriend?

Key Takeaways:

• Personal growth trumps revenge
• Embrace new interests and connections
• Well-being and success are the best revenge

Understanding the Desire for Retribution

The aftermath of a breakup can often leave individuals grappling with a maelstrom of emotions, among which the desire for retribution against an ex-boyfriend can be particularly intense. This feeling, while entirely natural, calls for a deeper understanding and cautious handling. In navigating these turbulent emotional waters, it's crucial to recognize that the urge to 'get back' at someone stems from a complex interplay of hurt, betrayal, and the innate human quest for justice.

However, this initial inclination towards revenge can be misleading and potentially harmful if acted upon without reflection. The essence of true empowerment and healing lies not in plotting revenge but in focusing on one's personal development and well-being. It is through this lens that we will explore the topic, offering insights and strategies to transform feelings of vengeance into opportunities for growth and self-improvement.

The journey of moving past the desire for revenge requires patience, introspection, and a commitment to oneself. It's about shifting the narrative from one of victimhood to that of resilience and empowerment. By doing so, individuals not only circumvent the potential pitfalls associated with acts of revenge but also open the door to a more fulfilling and optimistic future.

This transition doesn't happen overnight and involves various stages of emotional processing. Acceptance plays a pivotal role in this journey, serving as the foundation for genuine healing and progress. As we delve into the intricacies of transforming revenge into empowerment, it becomes clear that the path to recovery is as much about personal growth as it is about letting go of the past.

Thus, the objective of this article is not to stoke the flames of retribution but to quench them with wisdom, compassion, and a forward-looking mindset. It's about understanding that the best form of 'getting back' at an ex is not through direct retaliation but by living a life of such vibrancy and fulfillment that the past pales in comparison.

In the following sections, we will explore the psychological underpinnings of the desire for revenge, outline practical steps for personal growth, and provide guidance on how to channel negative emotions into positive outcomes. Through this exploration, readers will gain valuable insights into the art of turning adversity into advantage, ultimately finding that the greatest revenge is success.

The Psychology Behind Wanting to Get Back at an Ex

At the heart of the desire to retaliate against an ex-boyfriend lies a complex web of psychological factors. Understanding these underlying motivations is key to overcoming them and moving forward in a healthier, more productive manner. Primarily, this urge is rooted in feelings of injustice and the need for validation that one's pain is acknowledged and mattered.

Research in the realm of social psychology sheds light on the human tendency to seek equity in relationships and the distress that ensues when this balance is disrupted. Breakups, especially those perceived as unfair or blindsided, can exacerbate this distress, leading to a strong impulse to restore balance, often through the means of getting back at the one who caused the pain.

Another significant factor is the impact of societal narratives on our perceptions of revenge. Media and cultural stories often glorify the idea of revenge as a form of justice, potentially skewing our understanding of what is healthy and acceptable in real-life situations. This can further complicate the process of healing, as it creates unrealistic expectations and pressures individuals into pursuing counterproductive actions.

Furthermore, the psychological concept of 'closure' plays a crucial role in the desire for revenge. Many believe that enacting revenge will bring closure to their emotional turmoil. However, this is a misconception, as true closure comes from internal processing and acceptance, not from external actions against another.

To navigate away from these destructive impulses, it's essential to engage in self-reflection and understand the root causes of one's feelings. By acknowledging and addressing these emotions constructively, individuals can begin the process of healing and moving beyond the need for revenge.

The psychology behind wanting to get back at an ex-boyfriend is multifaceted and deeply ingrained in our emotional and societal frameworks. Recognizing and understanding these aspects is the first step towards redirecting these energies into positive personal growth and development, setting the stage for the empowering strategies that will be discussed in the subsequent sections of this article.

1. Focus on Personal Growth

Embarking on a journey of personal growth is the most profound way to 'get back' at an ex-boyfriend. This process involves delving into self-improvement, self-discovery, and ultimately finding a stronger, more resilient version of oneself. It's about redirecting the energy from the pain of the breakup into constructive and rewarding endeavors that enhance one's quality of life.

Personal growth can manifest in various forms, such as pursuing educational goals, advancing in one's career, or developing new skills. Each of these paths offers an opportunity to build self-esteem and confidence, which are crucial for overcoming the aftermath of a breakup. Furthermore, this approach allows individuals to reclaim their narrative, focusing on their aspirations and well-being instead of dwelling on past grievances.

Setting clear, achievable goals is a key aspect of this journey. Whether it's learning a new language, getting in shape, or earning a promotion at work, these objectives provide a sense of direction and purpose. Moreover, achieving these goals not only brings personal satisfaction but also serves as a testament to one's ability to overcome adversity and thrive.

Another significant component of personal growth is emotional intelligence. This involves understanding and managing one's emotions, fostering empathy towards oneself and others, and building healthier relationships in the future. By enhancing emotional intelligence, individuals can navigate life's challenges more effectively and maintain a positive outlook.

Ultimately, focusing on personal growth is an empowering strategy that not only diminishes the desire for revenge but also opens the door to a richer, more fulfilling life. It's a testament to the adage that living well is the best revenge, demonstrating that personal success and happiness are attainable, regardless of past hurt.

2. Cultivate New Interests and Hobbies

Discovering new interests and hobbies is a vital step in the journey of personal growth and healing. Engaging in new activities not only distracts the mind from lingering thoughts about the breakup but also provides a platform for self-expression and joy. This exploration can lead to the discovery of passions and talents previously unknown, adding a new layer of excitement to life.

The process of trying out different hobbies encourages individuals to step out of their comfort zones, fostering personal growth and resilience. Whether it's painting, hiking, coding, or dancing, each activity offers unique benefits and learning experiences. Moreover, hobbies can serve as a source of inspiration and creativity, enriching one's life with new perspectives and skills.

Participating in group activities or classes related to these new interests can also enhance social connections. Meeting people with similar passions not only expands one's social circle but also provides emotional support during the healing process. These connections can lead to lasting friendships and a sense of community, further aiding in recovery.

In addition to personal enjoyment, pursuing hobbies can have therapeutic effects. Activities such as writing, music, and gardening have been shown to reduce stress, improve mental health, and increase overall well-being. By investing time in hobbies, individuals can find solace and a sense of achievement, contributing to their emotional healing.

Moreover, hobbies can serve as a foundation for future goals and aspirations. What starts as a leisure activity can evolve into a side project, a business, or even a career change. This potential for growth underscores the importance of being open to new experiences and embracing change as a positive force.

It's crucial, however, to approach this exploration with patience and without the pressure of perfection. The goal is to enjoy the process of learning and to celebrate small victories along the way. By doing so, individuals can rediscover joy and passion in life, further distancing themselves from the pain of the past.

Ultimately, cultivating new interests and hobbies is more than just a pastime; it's a pathway to recovery, self-discovery, and empowerment. Through these activities, individuals can rebuild their confidence, foster positive emotions, and pave the way for a brighter, more engaged future.

3. Enhance Your Physical Well-Being

Enhancing your physical well-being is a crucial step towards not just getting back at your ex-boyfriend in a constructive way, but also towards building a happier, healthier life for yourself. It's about making a commitment to your health and fitness, recognizing that a strong body fosters a strong mind. This journey can take various forms, from regular exercise routines to mindful practices like yoga and meditation.

Regular physical activity is proven to have profound effects on our mental health, reducing symptoms of depression and anxiety. It boosts endorphins, the body's natural mood elevators, which can be especially beneficial during the emotional recovery from a breakup. Whether it's running, swimming, cycling, or any other form of exercise, the key is to find activities that you enjoy and can stick to in the long run.

Nutrition also plays a vital role in physical well-being. Adopting a balanced diet, rich in fruits, vegetables, whole grains, and lean proteins, can significantly impact your energy levels and overall health. It's about nourishing your body with the right foods to heal and strengthen from within. This aspect of self-care can be empowering, as it puts you in control of your health and well-being.

Rest and recovery are equally important. Ensuring you get adequate sleep and allow your body to recover after exercise is essential for physical and mental health. Sleep has a direct impact on our emotional and psychological resilience, making it a critical component of well-being. Embrace routines that promote good sleep hygiene, such as reducing screen time before bed and creating a restful environment.

By enhancing your physical well-being, you're not only improving your health but also boosting your self-esteem and confidence. It's a tangible way to demonstrate to yourself (and indirectly to your ex) that you're capable of positive change and self-improvement. This commitment to your health is a powerful statement of self-respect and an affirmation of your worth.

4. Build Stronger Social Connections

In the aftermath of a breakup, nurturing stronger social connections becomes more important than ever. It's easy to feel isolated during such times, but reaching out to friends, family, and even making new acquaintances can provide the support and companionship needed to navigate through this challenging period. Social connections offer emotional support, practical advice, and the simple joy of companionship, all of which are invaluable for healing.

Reconnecting with old friends and strengthening bonds with family members not only helps fill the void left by the breakup but also reminds you of the love and support that surrounds you. These relationships provide a safety net, offering both comfort and perspective when you need it most. They remind you that you're valued and loved, reinforcing your self-worth and aiding in your recovery.

Exploring new social circles can also be incredibly rewarding. Joining clubs, groups, or classes that align with your interests or hobbies can open doors to meeting people who share your passions. These new connections can enrich your life in unexpected ways, offering fresh experiences and insights that contribute to your personal growth.

Volunteering is another powerful way to build social connections while also giving back to the community. It allows you to step outside yourself and focus on the needs of others, which can be a potent antidote to the self-focused rumination that often accompanies breakups. The sense of purpose and fulfillment derived from helping others can boost your mood and broaden your social network.

It's important, however, to approach social interactions with openness and honesty. Being authentic about your feelings and experiences can lead to deeper connections and more meaningful support. Vulnerability, while challenging, can be incredibly rewarding in the context of building relationships.

Ultimately, building stronger social connections is about creating a support system that uplifts and sustains you. It's a testament to the power of community and the importance of belonging. By investing in your relationships, you're not just healing from a breakup; you're laying the foundation for a richer, more connected life.

5. Achieve Professional or Academic Success

Achieving professional or academic success is a powerful way to channel your post-breakup energy into something positive and constructive. It's about setting ambitious goals for yourself in your career or studies and working diligently to achieve them. This pursuit not only provides a sense of purpose and direction but also contributes to your sense of self-worth and identity beyond the relationship.

Start by setting clear, achievable goals. Whether it's aiming for a promotion, launching a new project, or pursuing further education, having specific targets in mind gives you something concrete to work towards. These goals serve as a roadmap, guiding your efforts and helping you stay focused and motivated.

Investing in your professional development can also be incredibly rewarding. Attend workshops, take online courses, or seek mentorship to enhance your skills and expertise. These actions not only improve your career prospects but also boost your confidence and self-esteem, showing you what you're capable of achieving on your own.

Networking plays a crucial role in professional and academic success. Building relationships with peers, mentors, and industry professionals can open up new opportunities and provide valuable support and advice. These connections can also offer a new perspective, helping you to see possibilities you might not have considered before.

Embracing challenges and stepping out of your comfort zone are key to growth in any area of life. Take on new responsibilities, lead projects, or tackle difficult subjects in your studies. These experiences teach resilience, problem-solving, and the ability to adapt to change—skills that are invaluable both professionally and personally.

Ultimately, achieving professional or academic success after a breakup is about more than just external accomplishments. It's a testament to your strength, determination, and the ability to turn adversity into opportunity. By focusing on your career or education, you're building a foundation for a fulfilling and successful future that's defined by your achievements and aspirations, not your past relationships.

6. Embrace Emotional Healing and Self-Care

Embracing emotional healing and self-care is essential for moving on from a breakup in a healthy and positive manner. It involves acknowledging your feelings, allowing yourself to grieve, and taking steps to care for your mental and emotional well-being. This process is deeply personal and can vary in length and intensity for everyone, but it's an important journey to undertake.

Start by giving yourself permission to feel a wide range of emotions. It's normal to experience sadness, anger, confusion, and even relief after a breakup. Recognizing and accepting these feelings without judgment is the first step toward healing. Avoid bottling up your emotions; instead, find healthy outlets for them, such as journaling, talking to a friend or therapist, or engaging in creative activities.

Self-care is another critical aspect of emotional healing. This can include simple acts like taking long baths, reading a favorite book, or spending time in nature. It also means making healthy lifestyle choices, such as getting enough sleep, eating well, and staying active. These actions nurture your body and mind, supporting your overall recovery.

Setting boundaries is also important for emotional healing. This might involve limiting contact with your ex, taking a break from social media, or saying no to obligations that drain your energy. Protecting your emotional space allows you to focus on your well-being and prevents unnecessary stress and hurt.

Seeking support from friends, family, or a professional can provide comfort and guidance through the healing process. Talking about your experiences and feelings can help you gain clarity, offer new perspectives, and remind you that you're not alone. Support networks are invaluable for emotional resilience and recovery.

Lastly, practice forgiveness—both towards your ex and yourself. Holding onto anger and resentment only prolongs the pain. Forgiveness doesn't mean forgetting or excusing what happened, but it allows you to release negative emotions and move forward with peace. Embracing emotional healing and self-care is a journey of rediscovering your strength and capacity for love, both for others and yourself.

7. Showcase Your Happiness on Social Media

Showing your happiness on social media can be a subtle yet effective way to 'get back' at an ex-boyfriend, but more importantly, it's about celebrating your own progress and joy. It's not about fabricating a facade of happiness, but rather sharing genuine moments of joy and accomplishment. This can serve as a powerful reminder to yourself and others of your resilience and capacity to find happiness post-breakup.

Choose to share positive experiences and milestones, whether it's a new hobby you've picked up, a trip you've taken, or simply a good day you're having. These posts can inspire others and remind you of the positive aspects of your life. It's also a way to document your journey of healing and growth, creating a digital diary of sorts that reflects your journey towards a happier, healthier self.

However, it's crucial to maintain a balance. While it's natural to want to project an image of happiness, ensure that your social media activity remains authentic. Engaging with your community in a genuine way fosters real connections and can provide support during times when you might not feel as strong. Remember, social media is just one facet of your life, not the entirety of your existence.

Ultimately, showcasing your happiness on social media should be about reflecting your true self and celebrating life's positive moments. It's a way to affirm your growth and the joy you've found in new experiences and connections. Let your social media be a space that uplifts you and supports your journey towards moving forward.

8. Engage in New Romantic Relationships Wisely

Engaging in new romantic relationships after a breakup requires wisdom and self-awareness. It's important to ensure that you're entering into new relationships for the right reasons, and not simply to fill a void or in an attempt to make your ex-boyfriend jealous. Healthy relationships are built on mutual respect, affection, and genuine connection, not on the remnants of past hurts.

Take the time to understand yourself and what you want out of a relationship. Reflecting on your past relationship can provide valuable insights into what worked, what didn't, and what you're truly looking for in a partner. This self-reflection can help you make wiser choices in future relationships, ensuring they're aligned with your values and needs.

It's also essential to heal from your past relationship before diving into a new one. Jumping into a new romance before you're ready can lead to unresolved issues resurfacing, potentially harming your new relationship and hindering your emotional healing. Give yourself the time and space needed to heal properly.

When you do decide to start dating again, approach it with an open heart but also with caution. Be honest with yourself and your new partner about your feelings and expectations. Communication is key in building a strong, healthy relationship.

Keep an eye out for red flags and deal breakers. It's easy to overlook potential issues when you're excited about someone new, but being aware of what you will and will not tolerate can save you from future heartache.

Remember, there's no rush to find someone new. Enjoy the process of meeting new people and learning about yourself along the way. Each person you meet brings a new set of experiences and lessons, contributing to your growth and understanding of relationships.

Ultimately, engaging in new romantic relationships wisely is about respecting yourself and your journey. It's recognizing that you deserve love and happiness and that it's okay to wait for a relationship that truly meets your needs and complements your life.

9. Volunteer or Contribute to a Cause

Volunteering or contributing to a cause you're passionate about can be an incredibly rewarding way to 'get back' at your ex-boyfriend by focusing on positive, outward-looking activities. It's a means of channeling your energy and emotions into something that not only benefits others but also enriches your own life. Engaging in volunteer work can provide a sense of purpose, fulfillment, and connection to the community that goes beyond personal grievances or heartache.

Identify causes or organizations that resonate with you and explore how you can contribute. This could involve anything from environmental conservation, helping at local shelters, mentoring youth, to participating in community art projects. The act of giving back can help shift your perspective from one of loss to one of abundance and gratitude for the opportunity to make a difference.

Volunteering also offers the chance to meet new people who share your interests and values. These connections can be incredibly supportive and enriching, providing a sense of belonging and community. The social aspect of volunteering can be a powerful antidote to the loneliness or isolation often felt after a breakup.

Moreover, dedicating your time and energy to a cause can be a transformative experience that fosters personal growth. It can help you develop new skills, gain confidence, and even discover new passions. This process of self-discovery and personal development is invaluable as you rebuild your life post-breakup.

Ultimately, volunteering or contributing to a cause is about finding healing and happiness in altruism. It's a reminder that even in times of personal turmoil, there are opportunities to spread kindness and make a positive impact in the world. This approach not only helps you 'get back' at your ex in a constructive way but also paves the way for a fulfilling and meaningful life.

10. Seek Professional Guidance If Needed

Seeking professional guidance after a breakup is a sign of strength and self-awareness. It acknowledges that sometimes, the path to healing and moving forward requires external support. Whether it's therapy, counseling, or coaching, professional guidance can offer valuable insights and strategies for navigating the complex emotions and challenges that come with ending a relationship.

A trained professional can provide a safe, confidential space to express your feelings and thoughts. They can help you process your emotions, identify patterns in your relationships, and develop healthier coping mechanisms. This support can be crucial in preventing feelings of isolation and in fostering a deeper understanding of yourself and your needs.

Therapy can also assist in setting goals for your future, both personal and professional. By working with a therapist, you can clarify what you want out of life and create a plan to achieve these goals. This proactive approach to rebuilding your life can be empowering and can help you move forward with confidence.

For some, the idea of seeking professional help might be daunting due to stigma or misconceptions about mental health. However, it's important to remember that seeking help is a courageous step towards healing and self-improvement. It's about taking care of your mental and emotional well-being with the same diligence as your physical health.

When choosing a professional, it's essential to find someone you feel comfortable with and who has experience dealing with issues related to relationships and breakups. Don't be afraid to ask questions or to seek a second opinion if the fit doesn't feel right. The right professional will respect your journey and offer the support you need to navigate it.

Incorporating other supportive practices, such as mindfulness, meditation, or journaling, can complement your work with a professional. These practices can enhance your self-awareness and emotional resilience, making the therapeutic process even more effective.

Seeking professional guidance if needed is a wise and proactive step in the journey of healing from a breakup. It's an investment in your future happiness and well-being, providing the tools and support needed to navigate the road ahead with confidence and clarity.

Understanding the Impact of Your Actions

Understanding the impact of your actions, especially in the context of getting back at an ex-boyfriend, is crucial for personal growth and emotional maturity. Every action we take sends ripples through our lives and the lives of others, often in ways we might not anticipate. This awareness can help guide your decisions towards more constructive and positive outcomes, avoiding the potential pitfalls of acting on impulse or out of spite.

Actions taken in the heat of the moment, especially those aimed at revenge, can have long-lasting effects on your emotional well-being and relationships. They might provide a temporary sense of satisfaction but often lead to regret and further complications down the line. Reflecting on the potential consequences of your actions can help you choose a path that aligns with your long-term happiness and values.

It's also important to consider how your actions affect your ex-boyfriend. While the desire to 'get back' at them is understandable, perpetuating a cycle of hurt and retaliation can hinder your healing process and prevent you from moving forward. Focusing on actions that promote your growth and well-being instead can be a more empowering and liberating approach.

Moreover, the way you handle the aftermath of a breakup can significantly impact your relationships with mutual friends and family members. Choosing dignity and grace over revenge can preserve these relationships and your reputation, fostering a supportive network that can aid in your recovery.

Thinking about the future is also essential. The actions you take now can influence how you view yourself and how others perceive you in the long run. By acting with integrity and focusing on positive growth, you set the foundation for healthier relationships and a stronger sense of self moving forward.

Additionally, understanding the impact of your actions includes recognizing the power of forgiveness. Forgiving your ex-boyfriend and yourself can be a profound step towards healing. It doesn't mean condoning what happened but rather freeing yourself from the burden of anger and resentment.

Carefully considering the impact of your actions post-breakup can lead to more meaningful and constructive choices. It encourages a shift from a mindset of revenge to one of personal empowerment, where the focus is on building a fulfilling life rather than dwelling on past grievances.

Alternatives to Revenge: A Healthier Perspective

Seeking revenge on an ex-boyfriend can be a tempting prospect in the wake of a painful breakup. However, adopting a healthier perspective can lead to more beneficial and satisfying outcomes. Alternatives to revenge focus on personal growth, emotional well-being, and the creation of a positive future, rather than dwelling on the hurt and seeking retribution.

One alternative is to channel your energy into self-improvement and personal goals. Whether it's advancing in your career, pursuing new hobbies, or improving your physical health, these endeavors can provide a sense of accomplishment and joy that far outweighs the fleeting satisfaction of revenge.

Another healthier approach is to seek emotional healing and closure. This can involve practices such as therapy, mindfulness, and journaling, which help process your emotions and foster a deeper understanding of yourself and your needs. By focusing on healing, you pave the way for healthier relationships and a stronger sense of self in the future.

Lastly, building and nurturing positive relationships can be a powerful alternative to revenge. Surrounding yourself with supportive friends and family, and eventually, when ready, entering new romantic relationships with a clear and open heart, can affirm the value of love and connection in your life.

While the desire for revenge is a natural response to pain, choosing alternatives that focus on your well-being and future happiness is a more rewarding and constructive path. By adopting a healthier perspective, you can transform the end of a relationship into an opportunity for personal growth and new beginnings.

FAQs on Handling Breakups Positively

Q: How can I stop feeling so hurt after a breakup?
A: Healing from a breakup takes time and self-compassion. Allow yourself to feel your emotions without judgment, seek support from friends and family, and engage in activities that bring you joy and fulfillment. Remember, it's okay to seek professional help if you're struggling to cope.

Q: Is it normal to think about revenge after a breakup?
A: Yes, feeling angry or wanting revenge is a normal emotional response to the pain of a breakup. However, focusing on constructive actions that promote your well-being and personal growth can be more beneficial for your long-term happiness.

Q: How long does it take to get over a breakup?
A: The healing process is different for everyone and depends on various factors, including the length and intensity of the relationship, personal resilience, and the support system in place. Be patient with yourself and trust that it will get easier over time.

Q: Can I still be friends with my ex?
A: Remaining friends with an ex is possible, but it's important to give yourself time to heal before considering a platonic relationship. Ensure that both parties are clear about their intentions and boundaries to avoid misunderstandings and further hurt.

Conclusion: Embracing a Brighter Future

The journey of moving on from a breakup, especially one that leaves you contemplating how to get back at your ex-boyfriend, is fraught with challenges and emotions. Yet, it also presents an unparalleled opportunity for personal growth, self-discovery, and ultimately, the realization of a brighter future. By choosing to focus on constructive and empowering actions, you affirm your worth and resilience, stepping into a future where your happiness and well-being are no longer tethered to past relationships.

Embracing this journey requires patience, self-compassion, and a willingness to embrace change. It's about recognizing that while the pain of a breakup is real and valid, it does not define you. Your strength lies in your ability to rise above the hurt, to learn from your experiences, and to continue moving forward with an open heart and mind.

As you navigate this path, remember that every step you take towards healing and self-improvement is a step towards a more fulfilling life. The lessons learned, the growth achieved, and the new connections formed along the way are invaluable. They shape you into a more resilient, compassionate, and self-aware individual, ready to embrace love and life with renewed vigor.

Furthermore, the journey of moving on from a breakup is not a journey you have to undertake alone. Lean on your support network, consider professional guidance, and don't hesitate to reach out for help when needed. The strength and perspective gained from these supports can be instrumental in your healing process.

Looking to the future, it's important to carry forward the lessons learned and the growth achieved. Let them guide your decisions and relationships, ensuring that they align with your values and the person you've become. You have the power to create a future that is rich with love, joy, and fulfillment.

While the end of a relationship can be a deeply painful experience, it also opens the door to a new beginning. By focusing on personal growth, emotional healing, and the many other constructive strategies discussed in this article, you can turn the page on this chapter of your life with grace and strength. Embrace the journey ahead with optimism, for a brighter future awaits—a future where you are the architect of your own happiness.

Remember, the best way to 'get back' at your ex-boyfriend is not through acts of revenge, but by living a life that is full of happiness, success, and love. It's in this vibrant, fulfilling life that you truly find victory, peace, and the freedom to become the best version of yourself.

Recommended Resources

• The Wisdom of a Broken Heart: An Uncommon Guide to Healing, Insight, and Love by Susan Piver, Simon & Schuster, 2010
• Getting Past Your Breakup: How to Turn a Devastating Loss into the Best Thing That Ever Happened to You by Susan J. Elliott, Da Capo Lifelong Books, 2009
• Why We Love: The Nature and Chemistry of Romantic Love by Helen Fisher, Henry Holt and Co., 2004
• It's Called a Breakup Because It's Broken: The Smart Girl's Break-Up Buddy by Greg Behrendt and Amiira Ruotola-Behrendt, Broadway Books, 2005