volvic Posted October 13, 2011 Share Posted October 13, 2011 I want to sleep and have things be over. If i live, it will just keep hurting. I'm tired of struggling with the hope that someday things won't hurt as much. i like the thought of sleeping and being done. Link to comment
QSP Posted October 13, 2011 Share Posted October 13, 2011 Don't do it. It's not worth it to die. There's always a chance to change things. Link to comment
surfjon Posted October 13, 2011 Share Posted October 13, 2011 It's the nature of life to hurt, and also to heal. It ebbs and flows like the tides. I thought of ending it too back in 2007 when she split, but could not leave that legacy for my family and kids. It's hard as hell to go on at times in life, but there are reasons for pushing on, it does get better...... Maybe you can help others that are struggling, I started rescuing homeless animals and just played my a$$ off at nights, I still struggle too..... Hang in there! Link to comment
offplanet Posted October 13, 2011 Share Posted October 13, 2011 i read a quote the other day and it rings so true: Pain is a relatively objective, physical phenomenon; suffering is our psychological resistance to what happens to us. Events may create physical pain, but they do not in themselves create suffering. Resistance creates suffering. Stress happens when your mind resists what is...The only problem in your life is your mind's resistance to life as it unfolds. its stopped me thinking some bad bad thoughts! That's a very helpful quote. I will think about that too. I hope you're feeling more hopeful these days. All the best. Link to comment
PhilliesFan001 Posted October 17, 2011 Share Posted October 17, 2011 Volvic, how are you today? Link to comment
LaKings55 Posted October 17, 2011 Share Posted October 17, 2011 Here's one of my favorite quotes from Greek/ Roman philosopher Epictetus "We cannot choose our external circumstances, but we can always choose how to respond to them." You have the choice to heal, and control your life. Link to comment
IDunnoWut2Do Posted October 21, 2011 Share Posted October 21, 2011 These posts nearly make me break down into tears... Seriously... Dont even think about doing it! Many people have these temptations! I, had them few months ago when i thought i could never make my parents proud... But i was wrong! I went to USA and worked my *** off and now things look alot better for me! My point is that you shouldn't do it! Nomatter what pains you, it must not be able to take u down! Nothing must do that! Link to comment
volvic Posted October 22, 2011 Author Share Posted October 22, 2011 I am sorry about my post, I am still trying, some days I feel really bad but I am still trying. Thank you for your encouraging words. Link to comment
volvic Posted October 25, 2011 Author Share Posted October 25, 2011 i took a lot of meds, it wasn't enough, i am stupid. i hate myself. whats wrong with wanting to end your life? why is it wrong? Link to comment
chitown9 Posted October 25, 2011 Share Posted October 25, 2011 Volvic, are you getting professional help for your depression? There is a remedy for it; did you know that?..chi Link to comment
chitown9 Posted October 26, 2011 Share Posted October 26, 2011 Volvic, there is a remedy for depression; are you aware of that?.........chi Link to comment
volvic Posted October 26, 2011 Author Share Posted October 26, 2011 I'm on antidepressants, anti anxiety meds too. Link to comment
chitown9 Posted October 26, 2011 Share Posted October 26, 2011 How long have you been on these medz? I think you it would be a good idea to tell your doctor what you are telling us on this site. It may be that an adjustment in your medz is needed... Link to comment
volvic Posted October 26, 2011 Author Share Posted October 26, 2011 i've been on them for almost a year and a half. Link to comment
chitown9 Posted October 26, 2011 Share Posted October 26, 2011 i've been on them for almost a year and a half. In that case, you definitely need to have a talk with your doctor. You really should have been getting results by this time, and something needs to be changed in your medication. Will you please call your doctor as soon as you are able?...chi Link to comment
volvic Posted October 27, 2011 Author Share Posted October 27, 2011 I am meeting with my doctor tomorrow.I feel alone. I feel trapped. I feel sad, frightened, lonely. Feelings are not too useful right now. I don't like me. I hate me. I want to let this all out, I want to let it all out. I want to not be stuck inside anymore, I want to be free. I want to not be ashamed. I have worked on all of these, and it has been a long uphill battle to me. I feel like that light at the end of the tunnel is an oncoming train. Feelings aren't facts Link to comment
chitown9 Posted October 27, 2011 Share Posted October 27, 2011 I am meeting with my doctor tomorrow.I feel alone. I feel trapped. I feel sad, frightened, lonely. Feelings are not too useful right now. I don't like me. I hate me. I want to let this all out, I want to let it all out. I want to not be stuck inside anymore, I want to be free. I want to not be ashamed. I have worked on all of these, and it has been a long uphill battle to me. I feel like that light at the end of the tunnel is an oncoming train. Feelings aren't facts Glad to hear that you are meeting with your doctor tomorrow. Please keep us advised as to how you are doing... Link to comment
chitown9 Posted October 28, 2011 Share Posted October 28, 2011 Hi volvic, just checking back...chi Link to comment
volvic Posted November 3, 2011 Author Share Posted November 3, 2011 I am feeling numb I did see the doctor and. My therapist. I think I'm going to be dropped from my college. I screwed up. I'm scared. Link to comment
RetroHoney Posted November 14, 2011 Share Posted November 14, 2011 some of the pills u take dont actually kills you. instead end up EXTREMELY sick and need tubes shoved down throat and stomach pumped 5 times. Link to comment
volvic Posted February 7, 2012 Author Share Posted February 7, 2012 Thank you for encouraging words. I have gotten off of my medications, and now the suicidal feelings are a lot less intense. I am still depressed and feel like dying every now and then, but it is at a much more tolerable level. Right now thought it is getting tough again because before i had difficulty remembering, now old negative and very uncomfortable memories are popping up whether i like them or not. I have to relive everything, I have learned how to do safety and containment which i do when i become aware that i am reliving an old memory, but the only issue is that when i do that then the memories get locked up for a long time but still cause anxiety and I can't go and deal with it. This is miserable. But i am hoping i will get through it and then those feelings and issues will go away, but for right now it sucks. I have been keeping them locked up for a long time, when i try to move on without addressing them if get suicidal feelings, anxiety and depression. But when I do address them the feelings are intense and extremely unpleasant. this sucks. I really don't want to go through this, it is going to get worse before it gets better. Link to comment
volvic Posted February 7, 2012 Author Share Posted February 7, 2012 The mind is a stupid organ Link to comment
ItsWhatIts Posted February 7, 2012 Share Posted February 7, 2012 I came accross this saying once, maybe it might help "Everything in life is temporary. So if things are going good, enjoy it because it wont last forever. And if things are going bad, don't worry, because that wont last forever either..." Link to comment
ItsWhatIts Posted February 7, 2012 Share Posted February 7, 2012 You can't start the next chapter of your life if you keep re-reading the last one... Link to comment
ItsWhatIts Posted February 7, 2012 Share Posted February 7, 2012 Some people think that to be strong is to never feel pain. In reality, the strongest people are the ones who feel it, understand it, and accept it... Link to comment
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