chris1005 Posted October 23, 2012 Share Posted October 23, 2012 Have you ever broken up with your ex girlfriend or boyfriend? What did you do to reconcile with your ex and how long did it take you to get him or her back? What did you do and didn't do to get him or her back? For all making mistakes tell us your story so no one has to go thru a painfull break-up and if they have a chance in the future what mistake are no no's for you to get your ex back. Link to comment
puppylove2357 Posted October 23, 2012 Share Posted October 23, 2012 I don't know anything about getting an ex back, but my biggest mistake getting into my last relationship was not getting help for my low self-esteem and depression first. It did me no good and it dragged a very good guy into a very bad situation. Link to comment
Tom1990 Posted October 23, 2012 Share Posted October 23, 2012 First girlfriend, it took a year and two months for the first reconcilliation. Three years for our second. Both happened after letting go completely. Most recent girlfriend, it was just a few months. We were in constant contact (worked together, had mutual friends), but it was lighter contact than before. We got back together after watching a horror movie and she wanted me to stay the night. Always, always, always let go and move on. That's pretty much the only way they can come back, when they know it's safe. And it's only safe when you've moved on. They just kinda know. It's weird. And even then, they don't usually come back anyway. But if you've moved on properly, you just don't care. Link to comment
ks1986 Posted October 23, 2012 Share Posted October 23, 2012 Reconciliations that actually last need enough time. Seems like the average is about a year...the minimum is about 6 months and of course there are a lot that happen much longer than a year or never at all. Reconciliations that happen a few weeks or a few months post BU end up just failing again. Also, try not to think about things like "How much longer is this going to take?" because despite reconciliation stories MOST breakups are final. Link to comment
Ang33 Posted October 23, 2012 Share Posted October 23, 2012 Always, always, always let go and move on. That's pretty much the only way they can come back, when they know it's safe. And it's only safe when you've moved on. They just kinda know. It's weird. And even then, they don't usually come back anyway. But if you've moved on properly, you just don't care. That seems like the common theme amongst getting them back. Plus what you just said is the first scene in the movie Swingers haha Link to comment
anonymous1984 Posted October 23, 2012 Share Posted October 23, 2012 After a relationship of 5 years, it took 8 months to reconcile. However last week, she broke up with me again after living together for 9 months. Link to comment
eastonweston Posted October 23, 2012 Share Posted October 23, 2012 After a relationship of 5 years, it took 8 months to reconcile. However last week, she broke up with me again after living together for 9 months. Were you in contact for those 8 months? What was required by you to 'win' her back? Link to comment
Tom1990 Posted October 24, 2012 Share Posted October 24, 2012 That seems like the common theme amongst getting them back. Plus what you just said is the first scene in the movie Swingers haha My current theory is, when you make a connection with someone, there's some biological synchronization that happens. With some people, that synchronization happens right away. With others, it can take months or years. At any rate, it stays with you pretty much forever. That's where this "They just know when you've moved on" idea comes from. I am, of course, totally speaking out of my butt, but it's a fun theory. Link to comment
anonymous1984 Posted October 24, 2012 Share Posted October 24, 2012 Were you in contact for those 8 months? What was required by you to 'win' her back? We were no contact for about 3 weeks, afterwards she kept contacting me. This time however seems more serious... Allthough I hope she will come back in a couple of months.... Link to comment
Streetbob Posted October 24, 2012 Share Posted October 24, 2012 After a relationship of 5 years, it took 8 months to reconcile. However last week, she broke up with me again after living together for 9 months. No matter how I feel/felt about the ex....This is the reason why I would probably not reconcile. I know that Breakups can happen with anybody at anytime but you would always have it in the back of your mind that they did it once....... Link to comment
anonymous1984 Posted October 24, 2012 Share Posted October 24, 2012 This actually has something to do with this second break up during the second chance, I've been controlling her too much... (anxiety to be left again) Link to comment
eastonweston Posted October 24, 2012 Share Posted October 24, 2012 We were no contact for about 3 weeks, afterwards she kept contacting me. So she broke up with you after 5 years, and you didn't contact each other for 3 weeks, and then for the next 7 months she initiated most all of the contact? What stopped you two from getting back together within those 7 months? E. Link to comment
anonymous1984 Posted October 26, 2012 Share Posted October 26, 2012 So she broke up with you after 5 years, and you didn't contact each other for 3 weeks, and then for the next 7 months she initiated most all of the contact? What stopped you two from getting back together within those 7 months? E. She had to figure out her life and there was another guy involved. She needed time to be able to make a decision. Unfortunately I learned that after this second break up she's rebounding again with the same guy... Let's hope he messes up again, which will drive her right back to me Link to comment
mhowe Posted October 26, 2012 Share Posted October 26, 2012 I would not be hoping for that if I were you ---- no one is learning anything here. Not her, not you. Do you want to be "just the guy she goes to" in between. Stop the cycle. Link to comment
anonymous1984 Posted October 26, 2012 Share Posted October 26, 2012 I would not be hoping for that if I were you ---- no one is learning anything here. Not her, not you. Do you want to be "just the guy she goes to" in between. Stop the cycle. That's what my head is saying too, but my heart says something else... We'll see, I'll give it some time, and quite frankly at this point in time, hope is what keeps me going. So whatever works... Link to comment
mhowe Posted October 26, 2012 Share Posted October 26, 2012 No -- not whatever works. Because it is a short term solution to a problem no one is trying to solve. You do yourself and your self esteem a disservice to continually take her back. Because you know she will leave again. You deserve better. And until you believe that, you will settle for 2nd best. Link to comment
anonymous1984 Posted October 26, 2012 Share Posted October 26, 2012 If hoping allows me to do my job in a good way, and to continue to live my life, it's the good solution for me. Meanwhile we'll see what happens, maybe I move on, maybe we'll be back together. Link to comment
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