i am in love with my best friend!!

[gothik faerie]

i'm a girl, i'm 16 and i'm in love with my best friend. although we've only known each other for a little over 6 months, i feel that i'm closer to him than anyone else i know, and he feels the same about me. ever since i first became friends with him back in march i knew i was attracted to him. i've seen him date many girls, including many of my friends. i found it strange that i would spend more time with him than they did. everyone at our highschool already thinks we're going out because we're always together. whenever he goes out places, even with other friends, i'm always with him.

 

i didn't think he knew that i had been attracted to him all this time, but we were talking on Monday night, and he asked if i still had a crush on him. i was really surprised that he even knew that i did, either that or he was bluffing just to see what i would say. so me, being stupid, told him that i was definitely attracted to him, and that i had been since i met him. i also told him that he was my best friend, and that nothing that happened between us could change that. which it won't. i'll always think of him as my best friend no matter what.

 

i guess i should tell you that before that, i guess last thursday, i found out that he had been cheating on his girlfriend (who is another one of my really good friends)

 

after monday night, i was really confused about everything that was said, so i was incredibly depressed. he was there as usual to comfort me, which was strange because he was the one who brought it on this time. i still found him comforting though.

 

wednesday we had another talk about what our relationship was with each other. it was clear that we are more than friends, but not boyfriend/girlfriend.

 

so last night was a school dance, and i went with him as his "date". for a while i was just dancing with two girl friends of mine (heh..and alot more than just dancing..) and finally i got him to dance with me. even during the dance our friends came up to us and asked us if we were sure we weren't going out, and they were very surprised to hear us say we weren't. on the way home from the dance we were talking in the car about what happened that night (between me and the two girls i was dancing with) and he put me on "kissing probation" because i was kissing those two girls at the dance, and i'm guessing he didn't want to see me making any more enemies because of who i was seen kissing. so i asked him who i was allowed to kiss, and he said only him.

 

OK, so we were all over each other at the dance, when anyone tried to dance with me, he'd step in and say "no! she's mine!". we did some serious hardcore flirting all night.

 

but still, we're both confused about whether or not we're going out, and i've never kissed him either. please help me!

[Mar]

I would suggest a straightforward, serious talk about it. Obviously you're both attracted to each other, close with each other, and comfortable with each other. But this game-playing won't really get you anywhere. Ask him flat-out where you stand in his affections, since you're getting mixed signals. He knows you're attracted to him, and I'd guess he's attracted to you as well, with what was said, but guessing isn't going to help much. Tell him that you'd like to know where you stand in his life. And if he says he doesn't know, then suggest that you just remain friends until he does, since the kissing and all are just confusing the matter in the meantime. Good luck, let us know how it goes!

[faeriechyld]

Hello there,

Let me start by saying I love your screenname!

Anyways, I understand that you and your best friend have quite some feelings for each other. I also understand you're confused on how to go about them.

I have a thought for you, if you know that he likes you and, quite obviously, you know you like him, why not take the reigns and ask HIM out? He seems to be confused on how to go about it, and it may just sweep him from his feet at your directness.

I do have a question though. Do you think he is worried about what will happen to your friendship if he does date you? You said you talked about it, but you never said what he felt on this issue. Perhaps that is something that needs further discussing.

All in all, from what you have said it sounds like the perfect opportunity for you both. I hope this helped and best wishes!

[gothik faerie]

i guess i could just go for it and ask him out, but i'm not one to initiate, even though it might work out. the scariest thing in the world to me is losing him as a friend, even though enough has been said that anything that would have caused us to not be friends anymore we've gotten through and not let it effect us.

 

it's just confusing to me, and i really need help figuring this out.

 

all my friends say we should be going out, and the way we were all over each other at the dance yesterday gave everyone reason to think we were, but we're not. we both maintain that we're single, even though i think there's definitely something between us. it's just that neither one of us knows what it is.