Question about rebound guys

[Donny JeffcoaT]

Hi, I think im just a rebound guy to this new girl im seeing I was wondering if anyone could tell me what goes through a girls mind when there with a rebound guy. Does she really like me, or is she just kinda forcing herself to like me, or do you think she likes me more because i'm giving her everything her last boyfriend didnt. How long do you think this will last, i think her old boyfriend wants to get back with her. Do you think there is a good chance she will leave me for him. Man i finally kinda get over my old gilrfriend, now i have to go through this. Maybe she's kind off a rebound for me too. I dont know. i'm really starting to hate relationships sometimes it feels like there more trouble than there worth. thanks a lot.This could help me a lot.

[Princess777]

Donny,

 

Hello, sorry to hear you are having doubts about your relationship... let's see, these are pretty general questions you have but if you want my opinion..... It sounds to me like you're not really ready for another relationship right now, but rather she is a distraction from your grieving process from your last relationship. You sound more disturbed by the possible situation of her using you rather than the fact of losing her as a partner.... does that make any sense?? Maybe you should just do something as simple as taking her somewhere quiet and talking out these feelings, in a mature way. For instance you could say, "I can't help but feel that you may be thinking of getting back with your ex, and I feel that this is something we can talk about without hurting anybody".... maybe that way she'll tell you. If she's not she should reassure you and then everything should be fine in your mind. What do you think about doing that?

Princess777

[Donny JeffcoaT]

ya that sounds good but i don't think she will be honest with me. I'm sure if she did have thoughts of going back to her boyfriend she wouldn't tell me. Because she wouldn't want to lose me now. They went out for a long time. It seems like when ever 2 people go out for that long they always try one more time to get things to work out. Your proabbly right though. I know im not ready for another serious relationship. i still think about my ex all the time. I just don't want to be used.oh ya and what you said made perfect sense though. thanks a lot. If you have anything else to add i would appreciate it. I'm kinda hoping for info on how girls feel about the new guys they are with after they have broken up with there ex's.

[Princess777]

Hello again Donny,

 

I am glad you realized you're not ready to get serious and that you're not completely over your ex. Do you ever have contact with your ex? If so, that may be fueling this anger that you feel toward your new girl, because it sounds like you are angry that she is not your ex, and that you fear you will be rejected again. And although the new girl wouldn't hurt you near as much as your ex, you seem to fear the actual thought of rejection by anyone right now. Unfortunately, life is full of rejection in many categories for all of us and it is something that is never easy to get used to. I think you are looking for acceptance right now from her or anyone more than anything. I think you are looking to her to show you that you are worth having. Well, she doesn't need to be around for you to know that! You are worth having! And just because some people don't appreciate that or you didn't have the perfect "fit" with them, doesn't mean you won't find someone later to share your love with.

You wanted to know what is going through a female's mind when she is on the rebound, well, for me, I was married for a long time, then single and thought the world totally came to an end and I gave up on serious relationships for about a year. I wanted it so bad but knew that I needed to get my head on straight and stop being so naive. I just started taking everyone at face value and didn't believe anything they said until they SHOWED me their feelings. I hated the single life, and the games people play with each other. The only ones who showed me they cared for me were people I wasn't interested in.... it seems to always work like that. I told each one of them immediately that we were just going to be friends... I never wanted to hurt anybody. I just got into the mindset that I was going to have FUN in life, no matter if I was single or not. Once I stopped trying so hard to find someone, I was out having fun one night with some friends, and I saw a guy that I absolutely HAD to meet - I knew he was my type without even saying a word. And my hunch was right. I walked straight up to him, said something corny and we hit it off immediately, he fell head over heels for me, told me I'm the most beautiful woman he's ever seen in his life and he still tells me that to this day. He is my husband now, and even though we definitely have our problems, we love each other unconditionally and I hope we are always together.

So you see, there IS hope for the future!!!! You will find her when you stop comparing your ex to everyone and decide that you can have a good time each day without her..... I hope that you can do this soon. I know it's hard.... talk to us here anytime!!!

Princess777