BT_Surrender Posted March 19, 2007 Share Posted March 19, 2007 hello everyone, this is my first post so sorry for any akwardness that comes with the territory, i will try my best to explain my situation. I've known this girl for about 5 years now (since freshman year at highschool) and over the years we've gotten to know eachother better and better...we both work at the same summer job and we were in all the same classes and we have the same circle of friends...and I consider her one of my closest female mates (or friend for you non-aussie folk). Lately she would call me and we'd tlak on the phone for a long time or message eachother. also recently she went out of her way to sit with me while we watched a film at another mate of mine's birthday getogether. I'm lost and confused...like a lot of other people in this forum I might add thank you for any advice and again, my apologies for any incoherences. Link to comment
willow2900 Posted March 19, 2007 Share Posted March 19, 2007 So are you asking what you should do to be with her? If so, try. Ask her out somewhere alone together. Link to comment
BT_Surrender Posted March 19, 2007 Author Share Posted March 19, 2007 how, it's really weird because of the friendship we have already, I don't want to risk that... but on the other hand I can't stop thinking about her Link to comment
willow2900 Posted March 19, 2007 Share Posted March 19, 2007 You have to weigh the risks yourself. No one here can tell you to go ahead or to not to. You have to decide yourself whether or not it is worth jepordizing a great friendship - because the flip side of the coin is that it could be a wonderful, meaningful relationship. Many relationships were brought out from friendships. So if I understand what you are asking it's how to make a move with her? Like I said - work at alone time with her. You'll know pretty quickly whether she is interested too. Link to comment
BT_Surrender Posted March 19, 2007 Author Share Posted March 19, 2007 Thanks willow, I appreciate the advice... I think I really have to sit down and weigh the pros and cons...I haven't really assessed them as thoroughly as I should... Link to comment
Dating Coach Posted March 19, 2007 Share Posted March 19, 2007 how, it's really weird because of the friendship we have already, I don't want to risk that... but on the other hand I can't stop thinking about her You either don't risk it and settle in your heart for just a "friendship"-and be honest with yourself if that choice is even possible-or make the necessary moves to move this friendship on a path for a romantic relationship. Sitting someone down and confessing your feelings to is not the way to go. That creates a lot of unnecessary drama and puts a big weight on this girl's shoulders. How do you think she will like it if someone she views as a brother (and she may) tells her this? Do you think anything could be the same again? Never confess. Instead, when you two are hanging out, ask her out on a date and make sure she knows it's a date. You could laugh about it and say, "You know, we always get along and have a blast together, maybe we should go on a date to see if there is more! I know a great place..." If she's not down you can agree with her and blow it off as if it was just a passing thought, nothing more. This way you can find your answer with the minimum amount of damage to the friendship. You'd better do something soon. 5 years man... yeesh... Link to comment
BT_Surrender Posted March 20, 2007 Author Share Posted March 20, 2007 well I mean the attraction didn't really hit until about 7 months ago... and I tried going through that "oh it's just a little crush" bit, but it just led me to this... and i've read your threads on issues like this and I just wanted to say thanks, there were a lot of interesting points there Link to comment
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