Can't seem to meet in the middle.

[LdyMiaka]

I don't really know how to put this. My husband and I have been together for 5 years. My sex drive has always been less than his, but it seems lately he wants it all the time, while I really am never in the mood. There when I am in the mood, he is not around. It seems like I am pleaseing me more than he is. I just don't know how to fix this.

I don't really like the way I look even though he says he does, and I get nervous when it is time for the two of us to make love. I have been trying to do it anyway but I can tell the effect is not the same. If anyone has any advice I would really appriciate it.

I don't want to lose him over something like this, but I don't want to force myself into doing something that I don't seem capable of doing as often as he wants me to.

[Gilgamesh]

this is a common problem, sometimes its the other way around too.

 

there seems to be different things going on here, i noticed a little low self esteem in your post, and, its important to love yourself, and your body, and not be afraid of your feelings and desires.

 

as for the lack of synchronicity in your sex lifes, you need to communicate with your husband, also tell him what youd like for him to do to you. as you probably already know, the best sex starts in your head, forplay doesnt necessarily start in the bedroom, sometimes it can take days, the best sex i ever had with my girl was ones in which I had the anticipation building up in her days in advance to our next date, she would just explode , and couldnt wait to rip my clothes off.

 

One good thing is, that after 5 years he still desires you, some women have the opposite problem, their sex drives increase while there partner decreases.

 

talk with him, find out ways to make sex more desirable, maybe you need more romance, that spark to light your fires!

[Mar]

I've had the same insecurities myself....but I finally realized one thing.....obviously the man who's with me loves me just as I am or he wouldn't have ever made the effort to be with me in the first place! I'm certainly not model material (wouldn't want to be, for that matter) and it took me YEARS to overcome my own insecurities and realize that some men truly DO appreciate a woman for who she is and not for what she looks like! (Not to mention that men aren't ALWAYS attracted to skinny women.) Men DO appreciate more than a woman's body, after all....a woman's mind is just as appreciated, if the man in question is mature enough to realize what a treasure they have there alone. But it's the total package that really turns a man on.....be comfortable with that! He wouldn't have asked you to marry him if he was having any doubts that you were the perfect person for him, body, mind and soul.