MollyElise Posted September 9, 2003 Share Posted September 9, 2003 Ok, my boyfriend RJ is a wonderful, great, sweet as pie guy. His one major flaw is that he can get jealous. I am a very social person and like to talk and mingle and be... social. RJ doesnt like this, and sometimes gets upset and acts like a big baby. Also on top of this I am RJ's first serious relationship, whereas I have been very, uhm, social and had several serious boyfriends b4. I know that I cant change him, but is there anything I might be able to do to help him, (other than giving up part of who I am)?? Has anyone here been able to overcome feelings of jealousy? how? He is getting much better (he's never been bad), its something that needs to be worked on, b/c I get angry when he gets jealous, b/c I feel that he is being controlling. So any help would be appreciated. O FYI Im 24, he's 25, been together 9 months lived together 4 months. Link to comment
enadevoli Posted September 9, 2003 Share Posted September 9, 2003 i can understand your bf getting jealous, especially if its his first serious relationship. only, he needs to trust you. you need to let him know that you would never cheat on him & try to make him understand that you are a social person & will talk to anyone. i think he will probably always get that sense of jealously....i get it when my bf talks to other girls, but i don't make a big deal about it, i trust him to not do anything stupid. your bf needs to learn that just because you talk to other guys doesn't mean you like them. Make sure you pay more attention to your bf when you are out in public, than to the other guys you might start talking to. let him know that you feel he is trying to control you when he does that. it will probably take some time though. he will never stop being jealous, but he can change the way he handles it & you shouldnt stop being you. Link to comment
Gilgamesh Posted September 9, 2003 Share Posted September 9, 2003 When I was young I guess i was pretty jealous, but that was just my insecurity. Your BF doesnt have much experience in relationships, and he thinks the world of you, and doesnt understand that you love him, and he needs to trust you. he needs to trust that love. my attitude now is much different, I look at it this way, if I cant trust a woman, then I wont be with her, plain and simple, and if I am in love with her, I trust her fully, if she breaks that trust by fooling around, its over, period. There is no reason to be jealous, if she is going to cheat on me, my jealousy is not going to prevent it, so whats the point? if anything jealousy can actually push a girl away. It seems so simple, yet, most jealous guys dont learn this until they have been burnt a couple times. maybe you should print out this reply for him. hope he learns soon. for both your sakes. Link to comment
idontakre6203 Posted September 9, 2003 Share Posted September 9, 2003 Hello... I think you should have a chat with your boyfriend... Tell him you're just a very social person (though he should already know) and confirm that it's just you two. No offense, but are you the type that cheats on your boyfriend? If not, (which I really don't think so) just have a serious conversation with him, tell him he needs to cut you a little slack and not to worry so much. Just release your feelings, tell him what you told us... Good luck! Link to comment
EmptySoul Posted September 9, 2003 Share Posted September 9, 2003 hi. i know exactly how you feel. my boyfriend gets jealous a lot too, and he still does, but it makes it better when you reassure him that HE is the one like/love/are with, not those other guys. one of my sayings is "jealousy is nothing but insecurity, insecurity is lack of confidence and trust, trust is the basis of any good relationship" but if you really care about this guy, just reassure him a lot that hes the one that you like and he should keep getting better. EmptySoul Link to comment
Vincent1984 Posted September 10, 2003 Share Posted September 10, 2003 Just like you girls loves it a lot when we hold your hand tightly just right after a hot women pass by, or some other things like that... I think we boys wants the same thing from you girls the same..., well similar... I am sure that your boyfriend is fine with you ingnoring him by accident, but when you are talking to a boy, and you accidentally ingnored him out of the conversation.., that could turn out to be something really bad..., unless your BF is Mr.Casanova who can get your attention back to him with his charm~ What I am trying to say is...give him a sense of "security" when you are talking to other guys and he is there... Try to bring him into the conversation, try to bring the conversation into talk about him... do something.... you can have those careless talks with your Male-Friends, but when he is there make sure you let him now that "You are the one" "You are my Boyfriend" "You are the only one I love(for now )" After all, this is all we ,Men, want in the public, that is face.... The definition of face is that my GF will never betray me(well, just need to make him feel like that) and ran away with somebody who she is "talking" right now~~ If you can make this happen, I will make sure to put you on the Time magazines cover as "The women you never want to dump~" Hope this will help you~~ Link to comment
Vincent1984 Posted September 10, 2003 Share Posted September 10, 2003 Am i asking too much?? Give some oppinion~~ Link to comment
Vincent1984 Posted September 10, 2003 Share Posted September 10, 2003 Don't read my article if you have a tedancy of cheatting on your BF.... It is not meant to be the "Perfect Cheating Method"~ God.....I have betrayed my brotherhood... Please, brothers on Earth, Forgive me~ Link to comment
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