Does an infatuation last.....

[heartbroken23]

I have written before abou tmy break up with my girlfriend. She broke up with me. she still loves me and has not closed the door on us getting back together. She said she doesnt know what she wants. We were together for 4 years. We are both 23. I am really devesated as this is the girl I know in my heart is the one. I am completely positive. She said she felt a connection with a kid she met in her class. She says he is really nice. I am told by her that I am great, and that it is her and something she needs to do. We agred to have no contact...something very hard to do. When we said goodbye, we said not to say goodbye, but instead until next time....or till we meet again. She admits there is a chance we could be together again...she just doesn't know what she wants. We always talked of marriage and she still says that there is still a chance and that she does not know if this is a forever thing. In my and in many others opinion, this is an infatuation or a crush with this guy. He came along and it was something different I guess...soemthing exciting. I mean, I guess we got comfortable and things just started being a routine. What are the chances that this will last. With no contact, I know she will miss me...and she said she will not forget me. As soon as she figures out if I am the one, she will find me. I know if she does come back I will not make it easy for her. I will need to make her fight for it. She will have to trully and honestly know that i am the one. This is the second time in a month this is happened, but we got back together the first time for the wrong reasons. (she felt pressured and guilty...I sent flowers, poems, etc..the works). This time no contact is the right thing to do. I know I have to let her go and if it is meant to be then it is. But what are the chances of this infatuation eventually fading and her realizing that I am the one?

[persephonesleeps]

HI Heartbroken,

 

I just got your email today...sorry you haven't heard from me...been busy!

It sounds like she wants to have her cake and eat it too.

Are you okay with that?

Would you accept an open relationship? ...it sounds like that is what she wants.

If you are both okay with dating other people, why not? But it seems to me that you are serious about committment, and are looking for a monogamous relationship.

She sounds confused...do you feel like you are being strung along?

 

Figure out how long you are willing to be patient...some people don't mind waiting, others do...and then stick to it.

Maybe try to give her a week or two of no contact...if she is still unsure after that, I would have to say move on...

 

If she thinks you are always going to wait around for her, what reason does she have to make up her mind?

 

Don't let anyone play you for a fool...you deserve to be treated with love and respect.

 

Hope this helps.

I know it hurts terribly.

Stay strong!

[enadevoli]

She's obviously very confused right now. She needs some time to herself so that she can figure her life out. Dating other guys will help her. If you are the one, she will realize that she will never find what she's really looking for because she already had it with you. It sounds like she thinks you are the one for her, but she just has to be sure. Marriage is a big deal to most people. It could take a long time, or it could take a couple days. But whatever is meant to happen will. Don't wait around for her though, if you find someone you want to get to know, do it. You never know if there is someone more perfect out there, even if it seems impoosible. It's better to get the whole confused thing out of the way now, so that when/if she comes back to you, she will know for sure what she wants.

[Gilgamesh]

These things always confound me, because the way I take this is not the way someone else would take it.

 

 

lets see, She loves you, but she wants to see if this other guy is better, and if he is not, then she will get back to you, of course youll make her pay by making it hard.

 

Am I missing something here? do I really have to tell you whats up? by even hinting that you still want her back you have just confirmed to her what kind of man you are, and now values you even less. plus even if she does take you back, this is something she will do again, hey, after all you let her get away with it before.

 

My girl does that to me, she aint worth my time, adios señorita, have a nice life, and find a woman that knows what commitment is.

 

yeah I can see me try and pull that on some girl, oh honey hey you know I really love you, but there is this chick at work, well, you know, this is something I just gotta try, you understand eh? but guess what, if she ends up not being better than you, i'll settle for you hows that? oh isnt that sweet she sent me poems. yeah like thats going to happen. Id have a frying pan against my head in 2 seconds flat, and she would have a new guy in 2 weeks.

 

Of course id never do that, because a person that loves someone and is happy with them, doesnt do these kind of things.