Girlfriend wants to be alone after five years.

[creativeinde]

My ex and I have been going out for almost five years now. This past weekend she told me she wants to leave because she doesn't want to hurt me anymore, when I asked why all she could tell me is that she wanted to be alone and she was confused that was the best answer that she could give me.

 

I know we are very young... I'm 20 and shes turning 19 in a month.. we actually moved into a house together after dating for four years because we were going to goto the same school and we both didn't want to have roommates etc. She is studying to become a pre-med student so she usually is busy with school work (has no job she doesn't pay for rent, food, electricity or anything of the sort) but toward the end of the relationship she started hanging out with one of her girlfriends from where she used to live that recently moved into the area and it almost seemed like she would blow off any plans she would have with me to hang out with her friend.

 

 

Well this Saturday morning she got in an argument with me about something silly and when I ended up going to the bathroom she called my mother and told her that we were breaking up and she wanted to talk to her etc (they are very close). I drove there about 100 miles back and forth and really didn't get anywhere. She kept saying that she was confused and just wanted to end things with me so she could be alone and not drag me along with her.

 

 

I know it doesn't help that we are so young and it almost seems she keeps everything that she feels upset about inside and never says anything (PROBLEM) because she doesn't want to disappoint me because I provide her with everything. I really still love her to death and would do anything for her but she told me she doesn't want a relationship now she just wants to be alone even tho she said on many occasions she HATES being alone. Since she left on Saturday afternoon I've only contacted her once on Monday night to see how she was doing I stayed away from questioning because I think thats the last thing she wants right now. What do you think I should do??

 

Thanks in advance.

[puppy]

welcome to enotalone,

 

I give full credit for her to be honest with you about her feelings towards you. Although she has given little explanation for the way she felt. Is there the possibility of the both of you sitting down and discuss the issue together in a calm way?

 

All you could do right now is try to reflex on what has happened over the years with her from her perspective instead of yours and see whether there was any reason why she felt this way? This may give you some insights into whether the both of you are compatible for each others.

 

Good luck with your situation.

[mcp2kpro]

Hi there

This is my first post after reading your thread, it just happened to me recently so i know how you feel and what happen, if you wanna know the truth then i'll tell u.

 

After 5 yrs relationship and she wanna a break, shes got bored and NOT IN LOVE with you anymore.

Theres a big possibily that she fall for someone else she just met, thereforeeee she question about the old long relationship with you and the new exciting thing with this new person

 

So what you need to do is really not much, prepare yourself for the worst (im telling u cos i know it'll hit u sooner or later). You cant do anything to change her mind, why not give yourself a break and get over it as soon as u can? this is for u own good

 

I know other members here will say the same thing cos i been reading their post for the past month, and i know they will advise you to do NC, and i agree on that!!

 

It mean you need to accept the fact that SHES NO LONGER YOURS, the sooner you accept this, the faster u will heal later.

 

Good luck

[creativeinde]

Thanks for all the replys..

 

Before she left she cried on my shoulder trying to explain it but the best she could come up with was that she didn't want to hurt me anymore and she wanted to be alone.

 

The thing is she text msg'd me yesterday stating that I'm still her best friend and she would like to remain this way. I'm not ready to move to becoming a friend not sure if i will ever.

 

I'm trying not to contact her but she still needs to get intouch with me to pick up all the stuff she left at my house.

[mcp2kpro]

The best way for you now is stay away from her, dont ever become desperately and asking her what makes she changed the way she is now, it is no help even if you know the answer, why hurt yourself asking that?

So dont call her anymore and try not to pick up when shes calling as well, (if she really need to pick up her stuff, arrange a time that she come pick up everything altogether, not some today, some later...

 

and be strong, only u can help urself by being strong