At my wits end with ex

[Firequeen]

Some of you may remember me posting recently about my bad tempered ex splitting up with me and having a holiday booked to London with him.

 

Well we decided to go to London even though we'd been split up a couple of weeks. I previously expressed my concerns that a friendship wouldn't work but we had to forge one since we work together. Anyway, the weekend went quite well, we had fun and didn't argue although I felt sometimes we got a bit closer than friends which was sort of confusing but the reason I'm posting:

 

On the way home, it was my ex's birthday and we got into a petty argument which resulted in some name calling and hurt feelings. To cheer me up I went out with a friend, we were in this bar for ages when he walked in, I ignored him (because he said earlier he didn't want to talk to me) but he text me saying "aren't you gonna wish me happy birthday?", I decided to be a decent person and went to wish him happy birthday (even though I already had) but he started shouting, calling me nasty names, threatening me and allsorts then went home. Well I nipped round to his house to try and get him to chill and he shouted at me calling me everything under the sun until the really early hours of the morning til it was too late to go home and he made me stay (I didn't want to but theres no arguing with him when he's in a temper). The most confusing thing is he cuddled me all night, comforted me and even called me his old pet name for me, then got out of bed then continued to yell at me for ignoring him in the bar!! Well he drove me home and we had some very crossed words on the way. Less than an hour later he texts me to apologise, I waited 3 hours to text back (cos I was busy) saying he shouldn't have shouted and he replied being funny with me!

 

I really am at the end of my tether. I ignored him the week before last because he was acting weird with me then at the end of the week he text me in a sad mood saying he assumed we weren't friends anymore because I have other guys (dunno what he meant). He was difficult with me at the weekend so last week I didn't contact him then at the end of the week he text me in a sad mood again and came to me looking for comfort. His moods are all over the place!

 

When I was out last night there was this guy I've been casually talking to who was coincidentally in the same bar, he was talking to his friends and I was talking to mine but my ex blew up because we were in the same place and he didn't want us to get together!

It really is wearing me down, he doesn't want to be with me but he doesn't want me to find anyone else. He doesn't want to speak to me but then asks me why I'm ignoring him. The worst thing is one minute he's yelling his head off at me, telling me I'm the worst person in the world then the next he's trying to comfort me.

I feel like theres no way to get away from him, I can't even go out, last night was the 2nd time I'd been out and seen him and he'd caused drama. He told me he was going out in the city so I went out in the town ... and he turned up in town!!

 

Someone help me, I really can't deal with him anymore

[keefy1972]

Stop going to the same places he goes to. Find new hangouts. Don't answer his phone calls or text messages. He'll get irritated but, after a while, he'll stop.

[Firequeen]

Well its not really that easy because we work together and neither of us will willing give up our job - we can't afford to.

 

I try to go to places he won't be but he always seems to turn up. I feel like theres no escape.

[keefy1972]

I also work with my ex and I know how difficult that can be. Tell me about your job. Do you have to interact with him personally everyday??

[Firequeen]

Yeah, he works on the department next to mine. Our customers ask me for whatever they require and if I can't help I have to ask him. Theres no way round not talking to him.

[keefy1972]

If you must, just keep it strictly business. If he tries to sway the conversation towards your personal lives then simply tell him it's inappropriate to talk about that at work, not to mention, it's none of his business what you're doing and who you are seeing.

 

It's tough to do but it can be done. If you are truly fed up then you should begin to act like you're fed up.