Feel ready to be friends

[Openheart1]

Hi all,

 

It has been almost 1 year since my ex and I broke up. We attempted to be friends for about 7 months afterwards, but unfortunately it just did not feel at all good and I found myself getting frustrated and heartbroken over and over again, building to the point where I just finally had to end the "friendship" since it didn't feel like one at all. My expectations were not met, mostly beause I was still heartbroken.

 

It has been alittle over four months since we last talked to each other. However, while I am over her and have moved on with a phenomenal girlfriend in my life, I still find myself thinking about my ex-girlfriend. It isn't the feeling I had after we broke up, but rather that I genuinely just miss the idea of her being in my life.

 

My question is one that has been bothering me for about 2 months now. I feel that I am ready to be friends with her and rebuild, albeit slowly and gradually, a friendship, but I'm not sure what approach I should take. She lives halfway accross the country, so I can't readily see her, but I would like to initiate contact with her and see if a friendship, without the emotional torture, can exist. She broke up with me by the way, so that may influence your opinion, but I'd like to hear them. Should I initiate contact by phone or email? How much should I express what I have been thinking?

 

Thanks!

[bitbybit]

Hi all,

 

but I would like to initiate contact with her and see if a friendship, without the emotional torture, can exist.

QUOTE]

 

Openheart -

 

I don't think the friendship can exist without the emotional torture -- I would suggest not doing it.

 

Your use of the word "torture" and your name suggest that you will be setting yourself up emotionally, and the most likely outcome will be more heartbreak.

 

Enjoy your present partner, forget about the other one.

[Silentlyfor]

The one and only gf that I've had so far I chose not to be friends because of the fact that I wouldn't be able to be as close to her as I wanted to be when we were lovers.

 

It's up to you whether you want to her friend or not. However, don't do what I did and change your mind 2 months after if you choose not to be her friend. My ex went to town on me when I did. I mean... they get really arrogant with you when you go back on your word. REALLY arrogant.

 

Make whatever choice you think will make you happy. Weigh the pros and cons and make your choice. Don't do what I did and change your mind. Make your choice and stick by it.