It has been a while

[FA18]

It has been about a month since I posted here. The support everyone provides each other is so great...and I need a little of it right now. My exgirlfriend left me about three months ago. She was gone for a month on business. While she was away, we had a fight. I started it. It was about her work...i was selfish. It was the first time in almost 4 years of being together that we had a fight like that. She took support in another guy she worked with while away, and she came back to tell me that we were over and this guy with her new man. I did all the dumb stuff. Cards, notes, flowers...i couldnt believe that it was over. We talked back and forth a little. We emailed back and forth. She would say things to give me hope, then nothing. I have been in NC for about 1 1/2 months. I have been doing a lot for myself. Working out, reading, working on my social skills. My high point was three dates with three girls in a week. But I am back to square one lately. I had a dream about the ex...It took me back to rock bottom. I want to meet up with her, just to talk...what do I do? I'm tired of this...

[Jeffrey2095]

Hello FA18,

 

I don't know.

 

You seemed to be doing fine with NC.

 

Now, you just want to "talk" to her, touch base, say how ya doin"?

 

Sounds to me like you're either setting yourself up for potential heartache... back to square one... or idunno' trying to "prove" to yourself you are really over her maybe?

 

Maybe you feel guilty or responsible for the break-up?

 

Jeff

[FA18]

I feel a lot of things...but she was the most important thing in my life. It hurts to think that because of one bad decision, I lost someone that important.

[Jeffrey2095]

Well, then maybe you should send her a heart to heart, and just risk it.

 

It might be a good excersise simply to draft what you would say in writing, you know, get everything pat in your mind... it sounds very important to you FA.

 

NC is hard, hey maybe not the only answer.

 

Jeff

[FA18]

i think ill wait until next week...with valentine's day coming up. If she is with her new guy still, I doubt that she is thinking of me, especially right now. I feel almost like I did when she first dumped me. I feel so empty. I dont know if I ever really made her feel as special as I should have.

[Jeffrey2095]

Yeah, that sounds right you know... V-day would be the wrong time for this, and it would give you just a little more time to put your feelings in order, you know.

 

Gee, I hope it comes out well for you FA...

 

Hang out and chat a while on it if you like... It might make you feel better.

 

Jeffr

[FA18]

I appreciate it, man. It's been a crazy trip the last few months. I just cant believe that she would do this. All her friends say the same thing...one said that she, up until just a little while ago, would say how great stuff was going. This guy is a long-distance relationship. She was, most likely, sleeping with him a week after we broke up. Why do I want someone like this back? Why do I feel so strong for her. I was going to ask her to marry me

[Jeffrey2095]

Well, remember, she might have slept with him after your breakup...

 

I know you think, "how could she rebound so quickly".

 

You've been suffering I can see.

 

You stand every chance of being turned down...

 

It's almost like 50-50 maybe... Now, do you want a 50% chance of getting her back... or NO chance? Might as well gamble, at the least eh?

 

Also, you don't seem as though you would be better off until you have expressed yourself fully to her, you know.

 

Sounds like a risk you're willing to take buddy. I'd go for it.

 

Remember also, that you have a lot more time with her than the guy now... if that seemed like good quality time to you... it probably did to her too. Draw upon that for inspiration...

 

 

Jeff