advice concering the well being of my heart

[Kalel83]

I recently posted about whether or not I should move on, and I have come to decide that at this point in time I can't really answer that question. I'm going by what I feel, and what I feel is that I love this person and I want to hold on to my feelings, even if I'm going to be waiting for a while. Does anyone know of any books, and people I can speak to that would have advice on how to deal with age/distance relationships We live 10 hours away from each other (7 hours if I go 95 on the freeway) and we don't get to see each other more then once a month. I want to be able to use resources that will help me grow so I can make a decision based on my feelings, being able to identify if I'm just addicted and rationalizing, or if I truly do care for this person. Time is what I seem to have and I will try my best to make use of it, but what books have you come accross have ideas dealing with relationships with people that are years apart. If I'm just to emotionally unadvanced we will learn that in time, but what I am asking is for information from people who have been through age gap relationships and have put them to the test. I want to know the issues they dealt with, so I can talk about it with her perhaps. So we can grow. Some background is we have known each other 3 years, been together about 8 months, decided we didn't know enough about us so we are seeing other people now. I'm 20, she is 38. Yes, I know that is an age difference, a big one, but if you are in something that you believe in, and the people you are with believes in it, how am I supposed to move on because of a technicality?

[NeedClosure]

as far as the age difference goes u have to understand that she an older mature women, women at that age think well and know what they are doing but u are too young to understand this. yes u may be in love with her or maybe not im not sure but u have to understand that u are more vunerable than her. You are still growing mentally but she has grown and seen things and experience them. You are putting yourself in a delicate position and should have a rational thinking about how or what you feel for her. If your feelings are not that strong you need to move on before you GET HURT FROM HER. it will be easier for her than for you to deal with issues or break ups or problems i can tell u that right now.

 

as far as long distance relationships go i think that they almost never work out unless u are married or you REALLY REALLY REALLY STRONGLY FEEL FOR THE PERSON. THEN again it has to be a two way street. hope this helps. BE RATIONAL AND TRUTHFULL ABOUT YOUR FEELINGS.

[SunnyScott]

As for age gaps, generally, if a guy is older than the lady, then the situation is often, okay.

 

Rarely do I see incidences like yours, but I've only known one. The guy was about 18 yrs. younger than that woman. They both wanted to marry each other, but his mom forced him to break up with her, b/c she was his aunt's bestfriend.

 

To cut a long story short, it is possible for a woman to love you even if she's much older. As for the distance, it's tough. However, distance is a test on how committed both parties are.

 

She's probably not wanting to invest her time into you b/c she figures that you are at stage where your life is still transitioning, while hers is just settling down.

 

She probably loves you enough to realize, that you need your own space to mature.