24 days NC - Update

[Me and myself]

Hi all

 

I really don't know what's happening with my feelings. I've been following NC for 24 days now and have been reading a lot of literature about break ups and relationships, trying to deal with this in such a way that I may take some advantage for me, as a person.

I've been affraid that my best male friend ask my ex to go out, for a coffee (he said he might do it), and I start imagining they together, knowing each other better....That's something that is constantly in my mind. I'm aware I won't get her back (she never contacted me) and, frankly speaking, after reading all the posts about those who get their ex back, I think it might be better if that won't happen to me. But you know how it feels...

It seems I'm going back to the early days of the break up, I'm feeling really sad, I don't feel the motivation I had to carry-on with my self help, I feel my whole world is going to blow.

I want to throw my cell phone far away 'cause everytime I receive a txt and see it's not from her, I go a step back in my fellings.

I'm affraid to use my computer...'cause everytime I open the e-mail a there's not any msg from her I feel like dying a litle bit more.

I don't even feel good near some of my friends 'cause they might have some news about her and I'm always thinking they might be hiding something about her which I wouldn't like to hear.

I really don't know what's happening...I knew this girl in April '06, we start our relationship last November and finished it on Xmas. It was only a month but I'm feeling so hurt as when I broke up with my ex wife 6 years ago when I knew she was cheating on me.

Only a month is causing one of the hardest times of the latest years!!!

Now I find myself crying at night like I used to 3 weeks ago. I believe it was easier if I had done anything wrong to cause the break up.

I wish I had never met her...

I'm at risk of developing some kind of selfish numbness regarding future relationships, as if I don't care about what might happen as long as I feel good, even if that implies to hurt someone. I believe this romantic guy is not romantic anymore....

[herewegoagain]

Well, I know it hurts. I (and many others) have been there before.

 

How old are you? Are you afraid of being alone? I was 36 when my ex dumped me back in 2004. I thought I would always be alone.

 

But I have met someone back in July, and we will see how it goes.

 

My point is, ask yourself as to why you are feeling this way, especially after only 1 month.

[Me and myself]

I'm 40 and yes, I'm affraid of being alone.

[herewegoagain]

Yes, I hear ya. I am 39 now, and I thought I would be alone.

 

But as you probably know, it comes in streaks - When my ex dumped me in 2004, I was on a cold streak for about 2 years. Then, this past summer, I had women talking to me/hitting on me a lot.

 

It will happen, just don't be desperate. Woman will be attracted to confident men.

 

Also, I hit the gym - which improved my looks, and CONFIDENCE!!

 

You will be fine. Give it time.

[Me and myself]

But as you probably know, it comes in streaks - When my ex dumped me in 2004, I was on a cold streak for about 2 years. Then, this past summer, I had women talking to me/hitting on me a lot.

 

Well, that happened to me also, with this girl. Since the break up with my ex wife, in 2002, I had only two relatioships, one in 2004 and this last one, both very short (4 and 1 month respectively).

Maybe I'm seeing the time passing by, me growing older, finding a girl only every 3 years...you see the picture. I'm really affraid of getting too old to find a girl that could be with me for a long time.

By other hand, I don't have many friends where I live, they are all married and don't have any single female friends. Also I'm taking care alone of my kids (from my marriage) since they are 1 and 4 years old (they are now 7 and 10) so, as you can imagine, I don't have many possibilities to go out at night to meet new people.

 

It will happen, just don't be desperate. Woman will be attracted to confident men.

 

Also, I hit the gym - which improved my looks, and CONFIDENCE!!

 

Well, the problem here is that I'm not confident enough and, as you know, other people know that from my body language. I'm trying to improve that but I'm not shure if I'm doing it in the proper way. Any sugestions?

 

Thanks for the replies