HerTragedy Posted September 4, 2003 Share Posted September 4, 2003 Not to be stereotypical, but my boyfriend is showing alot of signs of what I might consider to be homosexual. He dresses, like superb. He's very fashionable, and dresses like a rock star. He has commented on guys he thinks are hot. Also, he's very sensative, all the time. Ive dated plenty of guys and they are sensative too, but when the time comes they know how be sexual and aggressive too. He's never like that. He has very feminine manurisms, such as crossing his legs and the way he holds his ciggarette. Worst part is, of the times we've had sex, he's lost his erection probably over half of the time. I don't want to aggravate anybody, by making assumptions about how gay people are. I realize theres guy who appear very straight and arent. I just get this vibe from him, and I really need to know. help! Link to comment
SweetypieEnlightenedOne Posted September 4, 2003 Share Posted September 4, 2003 Wow, You sound smarter then you think.. If he is acting funny like this, then you may be dead on. Men will most likely not tell you there bisexual or gay out of fear of losing you..but believe you me..there are always signs... Let me list a few for you. I will try to keep the graphics as minimul as possible. 1. He has a very feminine tone to his voice (some gay men can hide this very well 2. He hangs around a lot of men..a lot of times, and you are not envited...or you suspect one of them in the group to be a little femine....or there is this one guy friend that seems to give you the cold shoulder....(could be jealousy) 3. When you are sexual with him...he tends to draw you near his rear end or always wants to venture into yours...(this is quite strange most men prefer the vagina, those who obsess and always want to go into the exit only area..are to be watched 4. He looks a other men a little too long.. 5. He likes to watch porno's with men in them (this is a dear giveaway 6. He is obsessed with oral sex 7 He wont look you in the eye's during intimacy because he is trying to concentrate on other things...(if you catch my drift.0 these are just some signs i know of. hope i helped Link to comment
Princess777 Posted September 4, 2003 Share Posted September 4, 2003 I think you should just sit him down and tell him you need to discuss something with him that's been bothering you. Be honest and talk to him about it. You might get around mentionnig the particulars and embarrassing him if you say something like, "I've noticed you've had a diminished desire for sex when we're together and I am trying to figure out why...." and you never know, he might just break down and tell you... I don't have any gay friends so I don't know, but I think honesty is always the best policy, and that way you're not always wondering. If you care for him, tell him so and that you are concerned about him because of his behavior in your relationship. If he still denies it but keeps up the activity, I would just break it off and tell him that you don't feel that you belong together and you're not right for each other, or that you feel you are not what he is looking for. It is unfair of him to use you as cover if he really is gay, and if he's not gay, the fact remains that you are uncomfortable with his behavior and you would never be happy anyway. So you have nothing to lose by talking to him. Just ask him, point blank. Let us know!!! Princess777 Link to comment
HerTragedy Posted September 4, 2003 Author Share Posted September 4, 2003 thank you guys so much for helping me out. thing is, i dont think even he knows he's gay if he is. like i dont think he'd hiding it..i just think he hasnt come to the conclusion yet. Link to comment
leanmean16 Posted September 4, 2003 Share Posted September 4, 2003 its not a good idea to ask him if he is gay, because it WILL kill the relationship...trust me on that one. nice or not, if he isnt, you could emotionally scar him and could possibly make it harder for him relationship-wise in the future because he'll always have a fear that his gf thinks he could be gay, you could also make him very homophobic. you could talk to him about the fact he loses his erection during sex, it could just be hes stressed etc which always effects a guy's "performance". see what he says, ask him if theres anything he wants to tell you, see what happens from there... also, im just gonna throw this out there.....could he be bisexual? its always a possibilty...at least thats not so bad! Talk to him, just dont ask him "Are You Gay?", Unless your trying to dump him. Link to comment
Superfly81 Posted September 4, 2003 Share Posted September 4, 2003 The things you describe don't point out anything. This is not to be seen. I friend of mine (very male and all) turns out to be gay. I couldn't have anticipated this. One post here says those 'gay' men have a lot of male friends. If that's true, then I'm 200% gay. Other will say gay men have lot of female friends... Hetero 'Nice guy' friends have that too. If you decide to talk to him about it, be aware that this is the worst thing a non-gay guy can hear! Good luck. Link to comment
Mr_Hypothetical Posted September 6, 2003 Share Posted September 6, 2003 Hello HerTragedy, As I understand, you have suspicions that your friend may be gay. That may or may not be the case, and I suspect you would not like to broach the topic directly for fear of offending him. And I agree- who knows if he has homosexual tendencies but has strong religious beliefs against it. Or countless other scenarios which may lead to an undesirable scene. Why not do this: invite your friend over to watch some homoerotic movies involving male lovers. I'm sure someone else can come up with suggestions as this is not my typical movie fare. I believe it would have an emasculinating effect on most males of the heterosexual persuasion. It is also a gentle way to broach the topic as you can always ask his opinion of the movie... Hope this helps, and best of luck! Mr_Hypothetical Link to comment
Mr_Hypothetical Posted September 6, 2003 Share Posted September 6, 2003 Sorry, repeat post. Link to comment
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