why does the ex do this???

[butterflycloud]

The ex and I have been divorced for almost two years now and have seen each other on and off. But it is off now and he has run back to his ex girlfriend again and told me that he has finally decided that we will never work.

 

And yet since yesterday he has been telling me that all he wants to do is hold me and make love to me- What is that all about???

[puppeteer]

um...just a hunch...he's a selfish pr**k who is using you...

 

end all contact with him.

 

 

you got out of the relationship....go find greener pastures...

 

 

could be wrong...but i call em like i see em...

[Heretic]

He's stringing you along plain and simple.

 

You need to distance yourself from him before you let yourself fall into that mire of misery. It's not worth having a guy who will treat you like a piece of meat, even if he cares. Most men have a hard time finding respect for a girl that let's themselves be strung along. So teach him he has to respect you and be committed to you. Otherwise you'll regret it.

 

That's just my two cents.

[butterflycloud]

thanks all for that. As you have said- perhaps he is just keeping his options open. The other thing that I forgot to mention is that his new GF is a virgin and wants to remain one until marriage. So perhaps I am just an easy lay.

 

It is very hurtful though!! I guess that was all he was ever atrracted to- just my looks. It makes me cross though- because just as I get strong he tells me that he wants to hold me again and make love to me

[butterflycloud]

Saw him last night and he wanted to sleep with me again. He told me how beautiful I am and that it is really hard for him to be around me. Any way I was really strong last night, yes I felt vulnerable and I could have easiliy fallen into bed with him again, but I stood my ground and told him that he had made his choice and that it was over.

 

This morning he is all upset because he say that he can see that I am 'moving on'. For goodness sake , what does this man want??? It is almost like he wants to give me some sort of 'hope' so that I 'wait' for me and dont move onto someone else. Is this what he is trying to do???

[boston23]

Saw him last night and he wanted to sleep with me again. He told me how beautiful I am and that it is really hard for him to be around me. Any way I was really strong last night, yes I felt vulnerable and I could have easiliy fallen into bed with him again, but I stood my ground and told him that he had made his choice and that it was over.

 

This morning he is all upset because he say that he can see that I am 'moving on'. For goodness sake , what does this man want??? It is almost like he wants to give me some sort of 'hope' so that I 'wait' for me and dont move onto someone else. Is this what he is trying to do???

 

Good job on standing your ground!! He was obviously not expecting that, but that is exactly what you need to do. As others have said, he obviously is trying to string you along, he's trying to control the situation to the way he likes it (having you as a back up) and that's definitely not right.

 

You deserve better than to have a man play with your emotions. I suggest NC--and do it not to make him realize that he's lost you, but do it for yourself so you can move on from this and heal.

[BeStrongBeHappy]

Big giant baby alert!! I'll never forget watching a baby once, who picked up cookies in both hands, then starting crying because both hands were full and he was mad he couldn't pick up any more cookies!

 

So your big giant baby is LOVING having two women fussing over him, and doesn't want to give either one up. Looking at it from a baby's perspective, he doesn't owe you anything, your job is to be there whenever he wants something, and to give it to him NOW NOW NOW!!

 

And it may not be as complicated as he wants you to wait while he makes a decision.. it sounds like he DOESN'T want to make a decision, he just wants to continue the state of affairs where you are always available to him, yet he still gets to go off and play with his little virgin girl too whenever he feels like it...

 

so for once, i'd say, don't look DEEPER for his logic, look at it exactly the way it is... which is a baby who doesn't want to give up his old blankie for a new blankie, he wants both!

 

some people never really grow up, and they make terrible partners... please cut him off and move on with your life...

[GottaLetItBurn]

thanks all for that. As you have said- perhaps he is just keeping his options open. The other thing that I forgot to mention is that his new GF is a virgin and wants to remain one until marriage. So perhaps I am just an easy lay.

 

It is very hurtful though!! I guess that was all he was ever atrracted to- just my looks. It makes me cross though- because just as I get strong he tells me that he wants to hold me again and make love to me

 

I wish I could take all that pain away, and I know it sucks. Hey sounds like your very very average guy. You don't want average, you want your guy to stand out right. I mean, anyone can say things that make you think they care about you, which he has done. Probably to her to.

 

Don't feel bad, people say things to get something. You trusted him, which is understandable. You can't control that he is a cold hearted user.

 

When he calls pick up, talk, show no interest, stay quite on the phone so he feels awkward. Then if he asks you whats wrong say that this guy is taking forever to come pick you up (for a date). Say, "Oh.." while he starts talking, then say "got to go..ttyl bye".

 

Mess with him, don't let him mess with you.

[keefy1972]

It's douchebags like your ex that keep genuine "nice guys" on this website complaining about nice guys finishing last.