How do I move on!!

[Melissa Renee]

I was with Jared for 4 years. We were planning our wedding and saving to buy a ring, then all of a sudden he cant do it. He told me that I am to clingy and that he needs his space, and that there is just to much stress (his words "to much stress between parents, work, school, and if I am gone it wont be doubled") he told me he loved me and wanted to try for 5 days after we broke up, then all of a sudden he said he wasnt going to try and that we are to just be friends. And well we were to be trying he was testing the waters with some other girl (two of them, possibly three, i only know of two myself, but people have been telling me of the other). I just dont understand how he could move on so soon and I am just stuck. i know i am young, but it doesnt seem to matter right now. my life was all planned out, married within the year, starting to have kids in 4 years, now I have nothing. I just dont know how to move on, could I get some help please?

[Aschleigh]

You still have you. He's not over you, he's using these other women to try to get over you. It will take you a long time to get over him but it will happen.

He got scared having his whole life planned out. He's confused. It's not you.

Give him so time. You are 18, no need to even think about marriage for 5 or more years.

Use this time to concentrate on you. Are you in college? Have you traveled overseas? Have you decided on a career?

[Cindersam]

I am sorry you are going through such pain. Nothing I can say will make it any better. Only time can do that and it will happen.

 

But I can tell you that even though it doesn't seem like it now you are probably much better off that this happened. I was married at 18 and it was a very big misktake. We were married for 11 years but I was only really happy for 1 of those years. You may think you know what you want right now but believe me you will be going through some very dramatic changes in the next 5 - 10 years and what you want now may be very different than what you are going to want then.

 

Right now you should be concentrating on you. What do you want out of life? Go out with friends. Have fun. Travel and do things that will be difficult to do once you are married with children. I wish I would have done all of those things.

 

I know you feel alone and unsure of what to do now but honestly do you really want the rest of your life planned out already???? Take the time you need to get to know yourself and what you want before you plan out your entire life. You have plenty of time to figure it out.

[Melissa Renee]

I am just confused, i have been playing the housewife for over a year, and I havent dated anyone but Jared in 4 years. I thought I knew what I wanted but anymore I just dont know and I dont know where to start. any suggestions? sorry I just dont know my path or how to find it.

[lachi]

Hey, I really get your situation... and i know how hard it is right now for you because i have been through exactly the same thing only i still live under the same roof as my x... we were together for 6yrs spoke about getting engaged for the past year and now he doesn't want nothing from me but friendship too.

 

I am feeling your pain because i am going through it too... he wants to be free and go out with party girls and doesn't want a relationship... check mine out...

 

I want to move on too... and I am really struggling because i am not convinced its what he wants... but he says he is doing it anyway to force himself to move on... He is turning 31 tomorrow and i am 25 in March and i feel so used and abused from him. But I'm trying to show him i am confident and moving on. If he does anything and i find out about it broken up or not i am not taking him back... he doesn't know this yet but will learn because i don't deserve that because i would never ever give up on love and at the same time he had to break up to not have a guilty conscious... but they are guilty believe me that is why they blame us!

 

I really don't understand why they do this? I know i love my x sooo sooo much and he can't see this and is using the power against me now... so i have to cut him out of my life... who would have thought 2006 would end up the way it did.

[puppeteer]

you will move on...

 

but it takes time.

 

 

all i can say is be with the pain. own it...experience it. the only way to heal and grow from your loss is to really deal with the pain...don't push it away.

 

i know it stinks, but honestly you will be so much stronger and better off if you can struggle through this tough part.

 

every day will be different. you'll have good and bad days...that is the way of recovery.

 

but you will recover. and know that you have friends who are willing to listen.

 

be gentle with yourself. you are the best friend you can possibly have...so don't go beating yourself up with "what ifs" or "if only's"...

 

let it go as best you can. just breathe and stay focused on getting better.

 

soon you will be better.